


Legacy

by CeeMee21



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, City Elves, Dalish Elven Culture and Customs, Dalish Elves, Darkspawn, Dragon Age Headcanons, Elves, Fade, Fade Dreams, Fade Rifts, Fade Spirits, Grey Wardens, Half-Elves, In the Fade, Mages and Templars, May The Dread Wolf Take You, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-04-26 16:53:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 37
Words: 74,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14406387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CeeMee21/pseuds/CeeMee21
Summary: Twenty four years have passed since the Inquisitor defeated Corypheus, changing Thedas forever. Growing up under the legacy of a true hero was never easy, even if Ethylia's identity was hidden from almost everyone around her. Few know her mother was Inquisitor Lavellan, even fewer know her truer nature. It is a secret she keeps hidden, but with the rise of the Sixth Blight, her world comes cascading down around her with one drop of blood that releases an Ancient Elven God her mother imprisoned long ago. When the Dread Wolf comes calling, will she try to save him from himself as her mother did, or will she be forced to take his life?





	1. Preface: Inquisitor Lavellan

**Author's Note:**

> This story mostly involves the future of Thedas, my own personal canon, a what-happens-after-the-inquisition story. There are Solavellan flashbacks mixed in with the main story which will eventually tangle together in some ways. The MC will also struggle a lot with her own personal convictions about if Solas is or is not a villain and how to stop his plans to tear down the Veil. I plan to write this as a bit of a redemption story for Solas, but also my own characters are heavily threaded through this because I like to imagine what happens next. Who are the next companions, who is the next hero to Thedas? I hope that you all enjoy Ethylia's story as she rises from an elf with a secret to a source of power.

Lavellan sighed softly, a wisp of sound that whispered through the air. Little fingers twined around her braid and the child tugged softly at it in her sleep. She'd laid on the bed with her for a long time until the others had come, until it was time to go. Still she clung to her, she hated to part with her. It was all she had left. 

She kissed the top of her head, wishing to stay but knowing she could not. She had to go. "I'm sorry, ma vhenan." She murmured and leaned closer to Leliana who took her little girl from her arms gently. She would never get used to her spymaster holding a child, especially as delicately as she was holding this sleeping child so as not to wake her. There wasn't time to get used to anything anymore.

"We will take care of her while you are gone."

"I trust you." She turned and met Josephine's eyes, "All of you."

"I have the best people for the job on standby to help care for her." Josephine assured her.

"I know," she smiled and spotted Cullen by the door. Her advisors were the noblest people she knew and trusted friends. Well, Leliana was arguably terrifying rather than noble, but Lavellan trusted her all the same.

She paused to study her daughter once more before she turned and walked out the door, Cullen falling in step next to her. He passed her a roll of parchment before he started speaking, "It took a long time to find it, but we have, with help from Abelas, the elf from the Temple. Are you sure about this, Lavellan?"

They walked down the hall before reaching the room that Josephine, the ambassador of the Inquisition, had occupied all these years. She greeted their noble guests here, made plans here for the future that Lavellan was beginning to realize she'd never get to see. With each day her strength waned and she felt the power of the Mark growing inside of her. One day soon it would overwhelm her. 

There was a group waiting for them as she slowed to a halt in Josephine's office, people she trusted above all others, and an elf that had promised to help her, if only for the fact that several years ago she'd respected the traditions of his people and passed safely through his temple to the Well of Sorrows. 

"Abelas, thank you for coming." She dipped her head to him. He mirrored her gesture and remained silent. She would need the strength of his people right now, more than anything. Some years prior, the Inquisition had been met with requests to disband. They had fought the idea that the Inquisition was no longer needed, and they'd changed to become what the people of Thedas needed them to be. They were no longer an army, the soldiers had gone home, but she needed the bonds she'd created within it one last time. 

"We're ready." Dorian crept closer to her and set his hand on her shoulder. She saw his eyes drift across to her other side, where her left arm was missing. It was still hard to get used to living without a second limb, even as years passed by, but it'd bought her more time. The Mark and the magic that tainted her still wreaked havoc on her body.

"Cassandra—err, Divine Victoria—sends her apologies that she cannot leave her post to be with us." Cullen told her.

"She's busy, I understand that, as is Grand Enchanter Vivienne. We're all there is, all that stands between the world and destruction." She swallowed, those words hurt and burned in her throat. "I want to thank you all for agreeing to go with me. I know this isn't easy, for any of us."

"Especially for you." Dorian stated and she leaned into him for comfort.

"We'll fight as long as you need us." Iron Bull told her, standing above everyone. "Me and my Chargers."

"We're all here for you." Blackwall agreed. Strangely, Sera was sitting on his shoulders and she wasn't even sure how he stood there, supporting her weight as though there was nothing there. 

She turned to face her guest, "Abelas, are you sure this will work?"

"This is the spell the Elvhen used in days of old, it will induce the uthenera and he will sleep."

She nodded and looked down at the parchment Cullen had given to her. She had to give it to Morrigan, she was the only one powerful enough to have a chance of inducing the deep sleep of the ancient elves. She would draw on the strength of each of them to make it happen. All they had to do was catch Solas, perform the spell...if only it were that simple. She knew in her heart of hearts it wouldn't be. He believed too strongly in his mission, that what he had to do was the way. 

"Okay. Let's go." She motioned towards the door and everyone started out, but she paused a moment to adjust the armor on her left side. It fit awkwardly since the loss of her arm.

It wasn't until Dorian spoke that she realized she wasn't alone. "Are you going to tell them?"

She blinked and looked up at him. His expression was grim and concerned. "No."

"My heart aches for you, Lavellan."

"Don't," she took his hand and squeezed, "there's nothing that can be done to save me."

Cole appeared over Dorian's shoulder. "I want to help."

"I know, Cole, but some things you cannot help." They were the only two that knew her secret. The Mark was killing her. They'd all believed the removal of her arm had stopped it, they'd hoped it wouldn't kill her, but she now knew it was. She wouldn't tell them otherwise, she didn't want them to know. Cole knew only because he was...whatever he was. Dorian knew because she'd broken down and cried on his shoulder at the thought of leaving her baby girl alone in this world. 

"This magic, it could take all your energy. You could die."

"I know." She replied softly. "If I die, so be it, I would rather die knowing this works than knowing Solas will go on to kill you all." It hurt to say his name. The man she loved, traitor to the Inquisition. She'd tried to convince him to stop, she still loved him. This would be the hardest thing she'd ever done, forcing Solas into the deep sleep of the elven gods. Perhaps he was too powerful for them to kill, many had already tried, but if she could do this, she could spare him death. He would roam in the place of dreams that he loved, and her world, her child, would be safe. 

"We don't know how long this will work, he could wake ten years from now, or ten thousand. You may only be delaying the inevitable." 

"Possibly, but Morrigan will meet us there. She has claimed with the Well of Sorrows she can see the path to keep him in his slumber forever. He'll never wake. He'll wander the Fade forever, but I think he can be happy there, dreaming."

"He will dream of you." Cole said softly, so quiet that she almost didn't hear it. Those words broke her heart more than most people knew. Solas was and would always be the one she loved. Maybe when she died, she would dream of him, too.


	2. Ethylia Syn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An intro to the MC Ethylia Syn, daughter of Inquisitor Lavellan, a bit about her life and position in the world of Thedas and the Sixth Blight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note for all chapters my own personal canon change. Half elf/half humans do not look human in my lore, they retain physical attributes of both race (ie pointy ears but not quite as sharply as a full blooded elf).

Ethylia Syn slid and almost fell in the mud as she came down off the incline of rock. She caught herself on one of the other soldiers’ arms and apologized before carrying on towards the village. Each time she came it had swelled to greater sizes, soon it would be a city of soldiers…except they’d be evacuating once she delivered this report. 

She followed the line of soldiers until the narrow path opened up onto the village streets and left the squad. As a scout she didn’t have a squad that she stuck with, but instead bounced back and forth, having no direct ties. She knew a lot of people and she gave her reports to captains and higher ups. She arrived on her own often, but this time she’d happened upon this squad and walked in with them.

“Ehtylia,” she turned at the sound of her name, her eyes cutting through the crowd until she spotted the source. A rough and tough warrior was pushing through the masses, working his way towards her. 

“Tenner,” she grasped his forearm in friendly greeting as he reached her.

“When did you get back?”

“Just now.”

“You’re just in time for the meeting then.” He propelled her forward and placed her in front of him and began shouting for everyone to move out of his way. Several annoyed faced turned to glare until they spotted his hulking form, then they scrambled to clear the path. He pushed her along in front of him and she didn’t complain.

Some things never changed. When they were kids he used to force his way through the crowd, dragging her behind him. When someone got offended and started a fight, they usually didn’t see her until it was too late. Things were still like that, he took the brunt of the fight while she snuck up on them. He was a warrior, she was a scout, though he often argued she could outfight anybody on intelligence alone. 

“What meeting are we going to exactly?”

“All the Commanders are gathering up,”

“I can’t go to a meeting full of commanders.”

“You didn’t hear?” He stopped walking and practically yanked her to a stop as he did so. She turned her head to look back at him quizzically. “Scout Areda didn’t make it.”

She frowned, opened her mouth, and stopped. Her mind raced as she took that news in. They’d just lost Scout Fitz and the role of head scout had fallen to Areda, with her gone… “I’m Scout Captain now, aren’t I?”

“Yup.” He gave her a slow dip of his head. “I’m sorry about Areda.”

“It’s okay. I’ll grieve later.” She murmured. They didn’t have time, even if she’d wanted to. They continued trudging through the crowd as they were before until it thinned out and they were able to walk the street with haste. She wondered what the commanders were gathering to speak about. Whatever it was, she needed to deliver her news first. 

As they reached the familiar hut where she usually delivered her reports to Scout Areda, and before that Fitz, there were two guards outside keeping people out. The commanders were using it for their meeting, no doubt, and as she reached them, they immediately barred her path.

“No one is allowed in during the meetings.” 

“Captain Tenner,” he immediately said his name and gave them a gesture of brotherhood by striking his fist to his breastplate, “this is our new Head Scout, Ethylia.”

“I have an urgent report to deliver to the commanders.” She stated.

“Head Scout Ethylia, forgive me,” he dipped his head and she blinked with surprise, “Captain Tenner, you also have permission to enter by request of your father.”

“Thank you.” Tenner smiled and they opened the door for them. Ethylia walked in first, but she didn’t expect to find the commanders in an arguing match. She drew up short, Tenner pressed against her back as they stared in. Four of them were yelling at once, their voices overriding each other’s. They couldn’t possibly hear one over another. She glanced up at Tenner over her shoulder and he looked as surprised as she was. After a moment, he cleared his throat and stepped closer, one hand raised, “Excuse me, Commanders…?”

They didn’t even pause.

She saw one of them in the corner take notice, Captain Harding and one time scout, and she tried to speak but no one took any mind of her and the woman sighed, clear aggravation on her face as a voice boomed over the others, “We don’t have enough Grey Wardens left for that!”

She was able to hear the next words, too, “The Templars can do it just fine.”

“Do we really want to start this fight again?”

“It’s not your decision!”

Tenner tried to intervene again without result but Ethylia spotted a war horn on his hip. She reached for it, tugging it free and pulling it to her lips before she blew into it hard. The trumpeting sound reached far and wide, it was sharp and loud against her keen ears and everyone flinched and ducked before several glares turned her way. Tenner was suddenly blushing as he snatched the horn from her but she’d gotten the job done. 

“What is the meaning of this?” She recognized Commander Despaud as she spoke up. Her Orlesian accent couldn’t be missed.

“Uhh, Commanders,” Tenner began but Ethylia interrupted him, stepping forward. She didn’t like to waste time if she could help it.

“Head Scout Ethylia, I’ve just returned from the field, I have urgent news.” 

Despaud crinkled her nose, “You people are worse than I imagined, your scout is an elf?”

Ethylia mirrored her expression, “I was thinking the same thing about someone letting an Orlesian in the room. Aren’t you afraid you’ll get your clothes bloody?”

Her face contorted with rage and she gave an indignant scoff, opening her mouth to say something more when one of the other Commanders moved forward, blocking her view of Despaud, “Scout Ethylia, we’re happy to have you with us, I’ve been waiting for you. What news do you bring?”

“You can’t be serious, Rainier?” Depsaud demanded, “Did you hear what the bloody knife ear said to me? She’s insubordi—”

“We don’t have time for this petty argument, Commander Despaud, we have more serious matters to attend to.” Rainier said sharply. 

“And in case you’ve forgotten,” Commander Cullen added, “our Inquisitor was also an elf.”

“She was chosen by Andraste!”

“And you were chosen by your Empress,” a red haired woman stepped forward, “I suggest you do your job as she expects of you. What do you have for us, Ethylia?”

She dipped her head to the three of them with gratitude. Ever since the rise of the Inquisitor some twenty four years ago, vulgar discriminations such as “knife-ear” had died down. Some were still rude, but it grew rarer every day. Ethylia suspected if the elves had not run off to join the Quest of Fen’Harel that the derogatory terms would’ve died out entirely. 

The elves were finally being respected, there was less and less slavery amongst their people, all because of her mother. Her wonderful, brave mother who had guided all of Thedas through their hardest trial against the monster Corypheus. 

She knew the stories, of course she knew. She’d been raised on them. The Herald of Andraste and the Mark of the Maker upon her hand, sealing the rifts. People had flocked to her, fought with her to end the suffering in the lands. She’d united so many people, an elf, a Dalish one at that, setting the world aflame with hope.

Ethylia also knew the truer side of the stories, how Corypheus hadn’t meant for the Mark to be given to her, how it had slowly killed her. She’d hidden it for years, even after she’d lost her arm to try and slow the effects. Eventually, with time, it’d still claimed her life. 

She would never forget the day Divine Victoria came to see her. She remembered thinking how strange, yet beautiful her robes had been, she’d wanted to wear the funny hat. Her mother’s friends had been caring for her in a cabin in the woods. She wasn’t allowed around many people. They kept her hidden away, out of sight, a new visitor was always a thrill and she knew her mother’s dear friend, Cassandra hid underneath that hat in the guise of Divine. She’d once been one of the noblest of warriors, now she had an even nobler purpose. The Divine had been a sad woman that day, though, as she’d come to tell Ethylia that her mother had gone. She hadn’t understood. Not at first. She knew her mother had gone, they’d talked about it, she had a mission to do. 

“I know it’s hard for you to understand that I have to leave, ma vhenan.” She could still hear those words whispered in her ear, her mother brushing her hair away from her face.

“You have to fight the bad man. That’s what I heard Aunt Leliana say.”

She curled her lip, “I’m going to have a talk with your aunt about what she says when you’re around.” She’d taken her hands then. “Never believe them, Ethylia, okay? Solas isn’t a bad man.”

“Then why does he want to hurt the world?”

Expression pained, she said, “He’s just misled. He thinks he’s fixing the world. That’s why I can’t kill him…I won’t.” She’d been too young to understand the look in her mother’s eyes was one of love. “I will always do what I can to save him. If we can make this spell work, he’ll never be able to hurt the world. He isn’t bad, Ethylia. Just remember that.”

“I will.” She’d hugged her then and fallen asleep in her mother’s arms. The next morning, she’d been gone, off to do her mission and come home…except she never did. Divine Victoria came instead, telling her the Mark finally overtook her and killed her, but that her mission was complete. 

That day changed her life. She was barely five when they took her away from that little cabin. They’d had several familiar visitors arrive, the few who knew of her existence and who, exactly, she was. They discussed her future, what to do, and the end, her mother’s friend Thom Rainier, formerly Blackwall, had taken her to live with him, his wife, and his two year old son. That was when Tenner had come into her life.

If she hadn’t ended up with Thom, she might have never ended up here, staring at him now as he asked her to deliver her urgent news. Thom had taught her everything she knew about fighting, but he’d played to her strengths, just as he’d taught his son Tenner based on his personal strengths. As such, he recognized she was a better stealth fighter, which led her to being a scout.

“I’ve seen the Blight.” She dove right in. Warden Herys perked up immediately and watched her keenly. “I’m no Warden, but there is a Blight out there, it’s begun, there are darkspawn out there everywhere—”

“You can’t know that. As you said, you’re not a Warden,” Despaud grumbled.

“I know enough!” She snapped, “the land is beginning to decay, the food is scarce…the river is starting to run black in some places. You can’t ignore these signs. There’s too many darkspawn and they’re making their way out of the mountains, we have to evacuate this city. Pull back to better fighting territory. Regroup with more forces.”

“It’s as I said all along,” Herys spoke up. “I can feel it. I should be out there fighting it.”

“No, we need you here.” Thom said. “Ethylia is our best scout, she’s never reported bad information before.”

“How many did you see?” Cullen asked.

“In the Mountain Pass, at least five hundred, with more following behind.”

“That’s only a week’s journey from here on foot.”

“And it took me days to get back.” She reminded and his eyes went a little wider.

“They’ll be here in no time.”

“No,” Herys stated, “they’ll gather, they’ll wander. They’re not marching forward at a steady pace. I’d feel them drawing closer if they were.”

“Why would they stay?” She asked.

“Waiting. If an archdemon has woken, they’ll be waiting for it to surface. Then they’ll come. All of them. Until then, we keep fighting the ones closer to home.”

“And you’ll keep recruiting.” Thom faced him. “The rest of us need to plan.”

“A great job you were doing when I arrived.” Ethylia butted in, probably overstepping her bounds this time. “I just told you what you needed to do. We have to evacuate this city, move the soldiers. We can’t fight here.” She pointed even though they couldn’t see the mountain from inside the building. “We don’t have the higher ground here. They’ll bear down on us until they crush us. And they will crush us.”

“What do you know, you’re just a scout.” Despaud scoffed.

She was getting real sick of her interruptions. If she wanted to die she could stay here, but Ethylia wanted better than that for these troops. Thom gave her a sharp look that silenced her and continued speaking to the others before he turned to her and Tenner. “You’re both dismissed.”

“Thank you, sir.” Tenner dipped his head and opened the door.

Ethylia pursed her lips, she wanted to stay and make sure they heeded her words, but she dipped her head and walked out the door, for now.


	3. There's Always Room For Heroes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tension. Almost bar fights. Inspirational Blackwall speeches. And it's raining blood. So much fun in Thedas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You'll notice I try to take a few things here and there from the game. Particularly Ethylia's conversation with the bartender. It's brief, but resembles that of conversations in Inquisition :)
> 
> Also, Fuire is pronounced like Fire.

"What's the word out there?" Ethylia asked as the bartender served her a drink.

"Everything is chaos." He told her. "And rumor has it our commanders don't get along well."

She scowled, "It's that damn Orlesian princess." Despaud wanted to be difficult on all their plans. The woman didn't seem to understand that the Blight was serious, this problem was serious.

"What did you find out there?"

She gave the bartender a look and he seemed to understand and moved away to serve another customer. She sighed before diving into her drink as Tenner took a seat next to her. "Was it really that bad out there?" She gave him a dubious look and said nothing. It was that bad out there. Things were changing. She could feel it in the air. "Right...so, uhh, what do we do?"

"We fight. I guess."

A new voice joined them, "I'm always looking for a good fight, are you offering?"

"Maker's balls." Tenner hissed under his breath before he turned and Ethylia tensed as a hand settled on her shoulder.

"You know, there's some blood on your armor. You should probably get to cleaning that, knifey." 

"Don't." She muttered quietly as Tenner stood.

"Why don't you back off?" 

She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. She knew the man behind her, she knew he'd have at least two buddies in the room. The fucking warrior liked to start fights and she was an easy target, Tenner was an easier one. Fuire knew one poke at her could get Tenner ready to rumble, but he always brought back up which meant she had to get involved or watch Tenner get his ass kicked. 

"Oh, if it isn't big brother here to save the day. Tell me how exactly that works, Tenner? Your daddy get a piece of some elf girl...or did she get a piece of him?"

Tenner pulled back his fist and Ethylia jumped to grab his arm, "Tenner, stop it!" She clung to him, but fury ticked through her blood, thick and heated. It was the same old fight, though, and it only served to get them in trouble. The last time they'd fought Cullen had promised to put them all in custody. Besides, there were way more important things to do right now. 

"Come on, Tenner, I'm right here." Fuire struck his fist against his chest.

"Yes, it's hard to miss your oddly shaped head." Ethylia countered, "Probably shouldn't hit him, might damage the last thread of intelligence he has...wait, we already did that, is that why it's so small?"

Fuire pulled his fist back and she ducked in expectation, but he never got the chance to strike as he was wrenched backwards. The tavern went quiet as someone wheeled him around and put his ass on the floor, one booted foot coming down to pin his head to the floor.

"There's work to be done, we can't afford infighting right now." Thom Rainier stood tall over him, looking around the bar. His gaze connected with two men that looked ready to pounce, at least until they realized it was one of their commanding officers standing over Fuire. She knew the bastard had backup. Thom looked around before he slowly picked his foot up and let Fuire climb to his feet. "Get out."

He scurried out quickly and Ethylia sighed as he faced them, "Thank you."

He narrowed his eyes on her, "Do you two ever stay out of trouble?"

"It's not like we provoked him." Tenner said immediately.

"I know who provoked who. You could stand down. You're a Captain, and you're Head Scout now. I need you both to act like it. We don't have time for these childish games." He sat down and ordered a drink. She slid back into her seat and Tenner followed suit. "You could do it, you know, inspire people. If you tried."

Ethylia rolled her eyes, "Not this talk again," she started to get off the stool but he grabbed her arm and she grumbled under her breath and stayed, taking a drink. She hated it when he did this. Thom was the closest thing she'd ever had to a father, and that came with the obligatory "make me proud" speeches.

"Not everyone gets to decide what they do with their life, some people just get it thrust on them."

"Like my mother," she murmured because she knew where this went.

"Like her, yes. Like Cassandra. She never planned to be Divine Victoria, but she accepted it when the people demanded it. Your mother accepted her role, too." He was purposefully vague. There were few people in the world who knew who she was. It was what her mother had always wanted.

She'd found out shortly after the defeat of Corypheus that she was going to bring a child into this world, but the Inquisition had needed her as much as she'd needed it. She set her hand on her pocket, feeling the edges of an old, worn out journal. Her mother had written down a lot of things for her, knowing she was dying, knowing her bby girl would be left in this world without her one day.

Ethylia had read the pages inside a hundred times. Her mother had dearly loved her place in the Inquisition, as Inquisitor. She wrote about how hard it'd been to adjust, having come from a Dalish clan, but in time it'd been more her home than anything else ever was.

She didn't leave much out. Ethylia knew almost everything about her mother's life. Why she'd kept her hidden, even as Ethylia aged, she'd kept her out of sight of most people. In the journal she referred to Thom as Blackwall and spoke of his true friendship and respect. She'd entrusted him with the journal and asked that he give it to Ethylia after she passed and he had.

Thom, Cassandra, Leliana, Josephine, Cullen, Cole, and Dorian had all known of her existence. Though very dear to her heart, her mother had not risked telling anymore of her companions. She was scared news would spread, that people would learn of her, that they would be scared of her. The child of a powerful man and the Herald of Andraste. They would put pressure on her to be everything she wasn't, a hero, a savior, they would try to control her life, lie for affections, steal her attention and use her as a pawn in political games. 

There was one other reason she'd hidden it...but Ethylia didn't like to think about that.

Keeping her attention on Thom, she said, "I am not destined for the greatness she was. We're in a Blight, not staring at a hole in the sky."

"Blights can end the world. There's always room for heroes."

"Not for heroes like her." She replied. 

"I could drink to that."

She blinked with surprise. He usually drug this kind of conversation out into a long speech about her mother's greatness and how much she reminded him of her, but rougher. His words, not hers, "You're so much like your mother in your desire to help those around you...but you're so rough. Try speaking with less accusation when you talk to people. You don't have to be that sarcastic."

"I'll be less sarcastic when they quit calling me knife ear or quit asking me if you had an affair." That always silenced him. Now that she was older she felt bad for those teenaged remarks. It'd always been a touchy subject.

As a part of the Inquisition, Thom had made his way around Thedas. He'd met his wife as part of it, a sweet woman that hadn't held his past against him, but cherished him for who he was. In order to take Ethylia into their home, they needed a cover story. They didn't want anyone suspecting who she was, so he often claimed her as his half elf daughter. If anyone asked, he told them he hadn't known about her until her mother died and Ethylia was sent to live with him. Ruder folks asked the deeper questions like if he had an affair, how did his wife feel about his bastard child. The list went on.

"Let's drink to that then." Ethylia lifted her glass and Thom joined her, their cups tapping together and then they drank. She sucked it all down, hard and fast. She set her drink down hard, making a loud thud and looked up, but the room had gone dark.

She frowned, that didn't make a lick of sense, it was daylight outside. She turned and almost screamed as a woman hovered inches from her. She scrambled back and reached for her daggers but they were gone. Everything was gone. When she turned again, the walls had vanished, the bar was dissipating into thin air.

She wheeled again but the woman was still there, yellow eyes peering into her soul. "They should have told me about you."

Ethylia blinked, her chest heaving. Where was she? What was going on? "Who the hell are you? Where am I?"

"Bound by blood, only by blood can he be released." She whispered, her voice somewhat gravelly and sultry. 

"What?"

The woman reached for her and she shied backwards and stumbled into emptiness. She screamed as the ground disappeared and she was falling, shrieking as she fell, but images flashed in her mind, passing her by on the empty air, wooshing through her skin. 

She saw an elf, vaguely familiar, but it'd been so long...could it be? She blinked, still screaming as she spiraled in an abyss, more visions flashing before her eyes. The elf was calling out to another, crying as she begged him, his hand outstretched, the world shaking all around them.

The woman with yellow eyes appeared behind him and he crumbled, another came at him from a different direction. She recognized Dorian moving in, hands uplifted. They were chanting together, saying a spell, as the elf sobbed. Mother.

Then the woman with yellow eyes touched the man and he crumbled more, tears of blood stained his face as the woman flicked them off his cheek and then he went still, tendrils of magic wrapping around him. Then she saw herself, fighting the darkspawn she'd come across just a few days ago in the Mountain Pass. She'd fled across the river before more could catch up to her, her arm getting torn open on a rock before she splashed across and disappeared. Images flashed of her blood in that water, spiraling, coursing with the river... It was all still rushing past her, through her, in her mind and in her body, she was almost there, still falling, and then-

Ethylia slammed against the ground, the breath rushing out of her as she blinked. Thom stood over her, looking down at her as Tenner scrambled to her side. He was sputtering and speaking but she couldn't hear his words, she could only hear the yellow eyed witch inside her mind, "Bound by blood, only by blood can he be released."

As she struggled to get a breath in, her chest started heaving. Everyone was staring at her and she would've been embarrassed if she hadn't been so freaked out.

"What happened?" Tenner asked her, eyes wide. 

She frowned, glancing around. She was back in the tavern. She'd never left. Or had she? She didn't know. "I was going to ask you the same thing."

"You screamed and fell off your stool."

"Come on," Thom bent over and pulled her to her feet gently. "Let's get you out of here."

"I...okay, um," she let them lead her towards the door, the tavern still staring at her. All of them. How loud had she screamed? What the hell was happening. As they stepped outside, however, the three of them stopped walking.

"Why is it so dark?" Tenner tilted his head back and she felt a chill pull through her as a rain drop settled on her hand. She looked down at it, her heart twisting. "It's raining."

"It's not raining." She whispered and they both turned to look at her. The drop on her hand was perfectly red, thick, and strangely warm. One had landed on Tenner's face, running down in a red streak.

"It's blood." He gasped.

Thom looked skywards again and she followed his gaze as people in the city started screaming, no doubt in fear over the blood beginning to run down from the sky like an open wound. First the sky was torn open, the hole repaired. Now it was bleeding. The sky was bleeding.

"Solas." She murmured.

"The Dread Wolf," Thom echoed, "he's free."


	4. Blood and Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethylia learns the truth of her mother's final moments and how the Dread Wolf was freed.

It was midnight when Thom came back to wake them, of course, Ethylia hadn't slept wink. She was wide awake as he came creeping into their tent on the outskirts of town where the soldiers took refuge. She actually had a new place tonight. With her new promotion, they'd asked her to move closer to town for easy access should they have need of her. 

Word was spreading quickly that Fitz hadn't made it out of the Mountains, that she was the new captain amongst the scouts. It was strange to her. It had always been a possibility, but she'd never wanted to be a captain. She'd do less scouting this way, instead she'd have to make herself available so the other scouts could report to her. That meant staying in camp.

Under normal circumstances, she might've argued immediately and asked to have the next best take her place so she could continue scouting, but they didn't have time for arguments. Especially not now. She'd already had two scouts come and find her to give reports. They were nearly the same as hers, except she was the only one crazy enough to go deep into the Mountain Pass. Nothing but darkspawn the higher you climbed. They must've been using the Pass to cross. She'd hate to see what destruction was left on the other side of the mountain. If the Blight had started there, the land could already be destroyed.

When the tent door swept aside, she sat up and so Thom walked to Tenner and shook his shoulder gently, "Get up, leave your armor."

She pulled her feet out of her small blanket and pulled on her boots. She'd learned to stay dressed these days. War was a precarious thing, everything could change in a moment. She had to be ready. She left her armor and crawled out of the tent, straightening out beside Thom as he waited.

He no longer had on the armor he had earlier as well, and he looked tired. There was a strain in his features that somehow made him look older than she remembered. He was a battle hardened veteran, he'd seen a lot of war in his time and now he faced more fighting. The gray in his beard was beginning to turn white in some places, but his hair still had a touch of black, giving it a peppered appearance. 

"You need rest." She said softly. 

"I'll rest when I'm dead."

She cringed, "You know, I hate it when you say that."

He opened his mouth but paused, turning to look at her before he shut it and gave her a grim smile, setting his hand on her shoulder, "I'm sorry."

"I'm ready." Tenner came stumbling out of the tent groggily. One of his boots wasn't even completely on and he looked down with irritation and bent to fix it. Ethylia gave Thom a smirk before she used her hip to bump Tenner. He sprawled out in the dirt and it was good to hear the quiet, hearty laughter coming from the man that raised them.

Tenner fixed his boot and climbed to his feet, glaring at her, "That's not funny."

"Come on," Thom motioned to them and started away. He didn't lead them to the small hut the commanders had been using earlier, as she'd expected. Instead he made a detour and they found their selves at the back of the tavern. The bartender let them in and they took a set of stairs immediately to the left and climbed up into a private room. 

She frowned, not sure why they were here, but she didn't speak, even as several people came into sight. She stopped not far from the stairs, grim expressions all around her. "Okay, we're all here." Thom stated as he stopped just behind her.

"We all know what the blood rain means." Leliana spoke up immediately. At least it had stopped, though it'd given the entire village quite the fright. They were blaming it on the Blight. 

"Solas is free." Cullen spoke up. His blonde hair was a curled mess at the moment, he looked as tired as Thom. In fact, they all looked tired, except for Leliana who paced forward.

"So much for Morrigan's spells."

"Those spells were supposed to work." Thom agreed. "I was there when she did it."

Ethylia glanced back and forth between the two of them before she asked, "What exactly happened that day?"

Thom grew silent. It was the one story he'd never told her. He always went quiet. Always. Her time with Leliana had been brief as a child, but she'd always visited throughout the years. She held no qualms about telling the tale, "The day they sealed Solas in his tomb?"

"You weren't there." Thom interrupted.

"I've had accounts." Her eyes cut to Cullen and he flushed a little red and stepped forward.

"We all know what happened, but being there was different."

"I don't." Ethylia said, "I want to know." She pulled out the journal her mother had left for her. "She told me about the spell, her plans, but the one story I don't have by her account is this."

"What is that?" Leliana's eyes narrowed in on it. Yes, that was exactly why her mother hadn't left the journal in Leliana's care. Thom was the one she'd trusted to give it to her daughter. 

"It's a book." Thom stated. "Not for your eyes."

"It's my mother's accounts of her life. Who she was before the Inquisition, who she was as Inquisitor. Everything she wanted me to know."

"Ethylia, I've told you, you don't need to know what happened that day."

"Yes I do!" She raised her voice and they shushed her immediately and Leliana motioned to the stairs, indicating those below in the tavern could hear her if she raised her voice. "She was my mother."

"I see no problem in her knowing." Leliana stated.

"She's old enough, Thom, why hide it from her?"

"Because!" He raised his voice this time and stormed forward, "You were there, Cullen, you saw what happened! How am I to tell her that?"

"You take it too easy on her, Thom." Cullen set his hand on his shoulder. "You love her, we all do, but she deserves the truth."

Thom shoved him back, "You don't love her like I do. I raised her. Not you, not Leliana. I did. I'm her father and I'll say what she will and will not—"

"Father," Tenner crept forward, "she's not a child anymore. Ethylia is older than I am, she's the most skilled scout anyone has ever seen and she's well accomplished in combat. She can handle whatever truths you have for her."

She gave Tenner a grateful look as Thom sighed, his shoulders sagging. His head was bowed as Leliana began, "Solas had already started his plan by the time they reached him. They had to fight their way through several elves. He had an army of them, protecting him so he could complete his plan."

"We killed so many that day." Thom finally spoke up, head bowed. "They didn't have to die, but they insisted on following Solas, they were fanatics for his plans and promises."

"Wouldn't tearing down the Veil kill them?" Tenner questioned. 

"Yes, but they didn't know that." Cullen stated. "Solas created a cult of followers, he made them believe in his cause and conveniently left out the part of their deaths."

"The Trickster God played his part well." Leliana said snidely. "I can't believe I ever trusted him in our Inquisition."

"We didn't know." Cullen murmured.

Thom continued the story, "When we reached him, he was already in the middle of his spell, Lavellan...your mother tried to talk to him. When he saw the rest of us, he attacked."

Cullen nodded, "The spell was still going, the earth was beginning to shake. He was more powerful than he'd ever been. I've never seen anything like it. Ancient power like that...it was impossible. Even with Morrigan there and her vast knowledge from the Well of Sorrows could not stop him."

"One by one we fell, but he could have killed us. He was about to kill us anyways..." Thom drifted off and took a deep breath, "Then your mother stood up. The earth still shook, rocks were falling and rolling. We were on the precipice of a cliff, where Solas could easily reach the sky to tear down the veil, but we were in the mountains."

"Which mountains?" Ethylia asked softly.

"The Mountain Pass."

She blinked at those words and glanced towards the door, towards the mountains, "These mountains?"

"Yes, these mountains."

"You're telling me Solas was buried here?"

"That is exactly where he was buried." A new voice joined them and they all turned, looking around until someone materialized in the very center of the room. Ethylia instinctively went for her daggers before she caught sight of the woman's face and froze.

"You?!"

"Morrigan?" Thom, Cullen, and Leliana each echoed the other. Then Thom frowned and twisted to look at Ethylia, "How do you know her? You've never met this witch." He sounded angry but Ethylia could only focus on the woman's yellow eyes, remembering the strange vision she'd had earlier before falling off her barstool.

"Is that any way to treat an old friend, Blackwall?"

"It's Thom. Thom Rainier."

"I saw her...I...I don't know how to explain it."

"I saw you, too. Believe me when I say it was a surprise." Her voice fluctuated up and down in a sort of rhythm. She kept her tones low, almost like she was telling a secret.

"What are you doing here, Morrigan?" Leliana asked.

"The same thing you are, I'd think that was obvious to a spy master. Still up to your old tricks?" She walked forward and Ethylia felt a bit of a chill creeping through her. Morrigan began to circle her, looking her up and down.

"Stay away from her." Thom snarled.

Morrigan ignored him, "Go ahead, finish your story. Tell her what happened in the Mountain Pass."

Ethylia looked to Thom and he sighed that heavy sigh again. He said, "There was something behind the Veil. Something trying to get out. It had red eyes...we could all see it, the earth was shaking."

"It looked a bit like a bird," Cullen added.

"It felt like doom. Like if it got out, we were too late, Solas's plan would be complete and he would restore the world to what it used to be, and destroy all of us in the process. Then your mother just stood up. She called out to him again, he tried to push her away, even as he apologized to her, but..." Thom choked and tears shined in his eyes.

Her heart hammered in her chest, she'd never seen him cry. Not even when his wife died. He just stood there, stock still, accepting everyone's condolences. She swallowed, waiting for him to go on but he didn't. She didn't know how to ask him to.

"A rock fell on her." Cullen finally finished. "When Solas pushed her back to keep her from interfering with his spell, he pushed her right into the path of a rock sliding off the mountain."

Ethylia stared at him, trying to take that in, a lump forming in her throat. She turned her eyes back to Thom, "You told me the Mark killed her. Divine Victoria told me, too...you all did!" 

"She was never going to make it home." Thom met her gaze and staggered towards her, grabbing her hands. "She knew that. It's why she held you so long before we left, it's why she gave me the journal." Tears streaked down his face, "The Mark was so close to claiming her life."

"It was the distraction we needed." Morrigan spoke up. "When your mother fell, it broke Solas's concentration. His spell shattered and he ran to her."

"What I don't understand is why he didn't run." Leliana said. "Away. He had to know what you were doing."

"He did." Morrigan stated, "But even after my spell began weakening him, he used the last of his strength to crawl to her. He even moved the rock and held her as she died."

"Why would it matter if he was going to destroy her anyways? Her and everyone?" Tears threatened to fall from Ethylia's eyes but she fought them, trying to keep her composure.

"Because he loved her." Thom said sadly. "It was easy for him to pretend he was ending her suffering from the Mark by tearing down the Veil, but no man could watch his Beloved get crushed like that and not be affected, not if he truly loved her."

"It broke him. He never meant for her to suffer more than she already was. It was a guilt that plagued him." Cullen told her. "And it gave us the ultimate advantage."

"He gave up." Morrigan stated. "He let me continue to weaken him without a fight until we were able to force him into the uthenera, the deep sleep of the Ancient Elves, and then I used blood magic to seal the spell. His blood."

Ethylia's heart hurt, the ache spreading out through her bones, to the tips of her fingers, the ends of her toes. She wanted to cry and she was shaking, but she managed to speak, "Bound by blood, only by blood is he released." She repeated the words from her vision with Morrigan.

Morrigan gave her a grim look but turned to the others. "You should have told me about her."

"Lavellan wanted her kept secret. No one was to know her identity. For her own safety, if people knew who she was,"

"If they knew who her father was." Morrigan countered and they went silent. "It was never about protecting her from her mother's legacy. It was about protecting her from her father's."

Ethylia gasped, Morrigan knew who her father was? No one was supposed to know except the people in this room, Divine Victoria, Dorian, Josephine, and Cole.

"Do you want me to tell you how Solas was freed?" Morrigan demanded. "Do you want to know why you should have told me?" They went silent, their faces paling, and Morrigan pointed at her. "He was bound into the uthenera by his own blood, a binding spell dependent upon it. By his blood was his fate sealed, and by his blood he can be released." The vision she'd had of Morrigan, of her mother fighting Solas, of herself fighting darkspawn...she'd saw her blood fall into the river, all of it flashed before her eyes again. "You sent her into the Mountain Pass to fight darkspawn and her blood got into the river. It seeped into the dirt, into the rocks and it set Solas free. You should have told me Lavellan had Solas's child! I could have warned you to never send her near him! His blood runs through her veins and now he is free because of it."


	5. Magic is Never Simple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The commanders and Ethylia work on a plan for dealing with Solas

Ethylia needed a moment to breathe, to grasp everything she’d just been told. Her mother had kept no secrets from her. She knew who her father was, but they had kept secrets. They hadn’t told her how her mother really died. No one had bothered for all these years to give her the truth. What stung the most was that Thom had withheld it from her. 

“Ethylia, wait, please,”

Speak of the demon, here he came. She closed her eyes, she was on the edges of town now, staring at a rocky terrain. This was why this place wasn’t good ground to stand and fight. The forest nearby, the ground leading up to the mountains, it was scattered with rocks, dangerous. It made it easy to trip and that could cost you your life when fighting darkspawn. Not to mention they couldn’t fight from horseback, they couldn’t retreat easily, and it was impossible to set up fortifications on such rough ground. 

“Thil,” Thom used his nickname for her as he caught up to her. “I’m so sorry.”

“You should have told me.” She couldn’t keep her tears in check.

“I didn’t want to see you hurt like this…”

“That’s not a reason it’s an excuse.” She sniffed, “He killed her.”

“He didn’t mean to.”

“Don’t defend him to me.” She snapped and yanked the journal out of her pocket. “She does that plenty enough in here. She defended him, against everyone, she never doubted him and he killed her.” She brushed the wetness off her face and shook the journal in Thom’s face, “She never stopped loving him, but that’s not what she says about the rest of you.”

“Solas was my friend once, too. She wasn’t the only one that hoped we could save him. I redeemed myself once. What kind of man would I be if I didn’t believe others could?”

“Tell me honestly, would you have killed him if you had gotten the chance?”

Thom went quiet, staring deep into her eyes before he took a step back. “If it saved the world…” She curled her lip and turned away from him, staring out at the rocky plain again. She ached, deep inside, like fire burning in her chest. “I’m so sorry, Thil,” she felt both his hands on her shoulders before he pulled her back into him, hugging her.

She cried a little more, curling her arms over his. This new knowledge…it destroyed a part of herself. At least it felt that way. Despite her mother’s best efforts, and always asking that she never doubt Solas, she did. If he’d killed her…she wanted to kill him. She wanted his death. That tore her apart because her mother would’ve never wanted that.

“What happens now?” She finally pulled out of the hug. “How can we fight him? He’ll try to destroy the world again.”

“He’ll be weakened, both from Morrigan’s last spell and from the uthenera. It won’t be like last time, though. He was only asleep for twenty years this time, not a thousand, he’ll quickly recover his strength.”

“But we have darkspawn to fight, too.”

“Then I suggest we get to Solas fast.”

“How?”

“Come on, let me take you back to the tavern.”

She sighed heavily and wiped more tears off her face. She wasn’t ready. She didn’t want to go back and face them and the truth. Her father had killed her mother. Accident or not… She took Thom’s arm and leaned against him as they walked back to the tavern. 

“You’re still my father.” She stated and looked up at him. “I just wanted you to know that. I don’t care who he is, Ancient God, whatever, you’re my father.”

He gave her a genuine smile as the reached the tavern and opened the door for her, following her in and back up the stairs. She hoped she didn’t look too bad. She didn’t want them to see how much she’d been crying.

“We have to stop Solas before he tries to destroy the world again.” She announced as she entered the room. They looked at her with surprise, blinking as they looked at each other. “How do we stop him?” She asked Morrigan.

“We have to find him first.” She murmured. 

"You can perform the same spell, right?" Cullen asked.

“Or we could kill him.” Leliana suggested. Thom cut her a sharp look.

“That’s out of the question.” Thom countered.

“Why? Because Lavellan couldn’t kill him? Because she believed in him? He was supposed to be locked in his slumber forever, but now he’s awake. We can’t take this chance again. If we’re lucky enough to stop him a second time. If Ethylia has children, his blood goes on, even if we bind him again, a century from now, two centuries, a thousand, his blood lives on and one of them could stumble upon him and release him just as Ethylia did.”

“Lavellan wouldn’t have wanted this.”

“Maybe we should ask Ethylia.” Leliana suggested and turned to her. She pressed her lips together in a tight line as all eyes turned to her. She felt that tug and pull inside of her chest. A newfound anger at the man that cost her mother her life, that part of her that wanted to see him to his end…but did she really want that?

“I just want to stop him.” She said quietly.

Thom glowered at Leliana before he looked to Morrigan. “How do we do this? We almost died last time. He could’ve killed us.”

“He didn’t kill us because he was still attached to us.” Cullen began, “But now we’ve locked him in a sleep. He probably doesn’t even know how long he’s slumbered. Odds are he won’t be happy with us, and Lavellan isn’t here to talk him out of killing us this time.”

His eyes drifted to Ethylia and Thom shook his head, “No. Absolutely not. He can’t know about her. If Lavellan had wanted him to know, she would have told him.”

“It’s not like she had the time.” Cullen countered. “He disappeared before she even knew she was pregnant.”

Leliana nodded, “And two years later when he turned up again her Mark was killing her.”

“She had plenty of time to speak to Solas. Long enough to learn that he was Fen’Harel, that he had spies in the Inquisition, what his plans were…”

“I think you’ll find none of that matters now,” Morrigan abruptly interjected. She waved to Ethylia, “It’s not Lavellan’s decision anymore, its hers.” 

She stared at the floor as their eyes fell upon her. Her mother’s journal was in her pocket again and she thought about everything she read in there. Aside from the fact that he’d disappeared, her mother had kept her hidden for a reason, even before she’d known Ethylia was the daughter of Fen’Harel, The Dread Wolf, Solas…

“I don’t want him to know.” She whispered.

“But if he knew of your existence, maybe it would stop him now.”

“He wouldn’t stop for my mother, what makes you think he’ll stop for me?” She stared Leliana and Cullen down. “Besides, if she’d thought it would help, she would have told him the day she went to stop him. She didn’t.” 

“I think this is a mistake.” Leliana stated.

“We don’t need him to know.” Morrigan insisted. “We just need her to stop him.”

“Excuse me, what?” Ethylia blinked as she stared at her. She didn’t want to go anywhere near him, yet even as she thought that, her mind considered the other. Meeting the man her mother had loved so dearly…her father. 

“Your blood undid his cursed slumber.”

“Yeah but you used his blood to set it, can’t you do that again?”

“It’s not that simple.”

Cullen cursed, “Magic is never simple. Especially blood magic.”

“Your blood undid it so we need your blood to reset it.” She explained. “We know he started in the Mountain Pass. If the darkspawn are as bad in that area as you say, I doubt he’s managed to travel far.”

“What if darkspawn kill him? Then our problems are solved, yes?” Leliana asked.

“No mere darkspawn will kill the Dread Wolf.” Morrigan replied, “His power is ancient. No matter how weak he is, he will be strong enough to protect himself from them.”

“He could barely spout a spell last time,”

“Last time he slept for thousands of years. This time it was only twenty.”

“But wait,” Ethylia said, “you’re asking me to go up to the Mountain Pass again? Are you insane?”

“Do you want him to reach civilization? To find us and kill us? He will target me. I am the one who weakened him.”

“To find you…are you not coming?” 

Morrigan laughed, “And risk my life again? I don’t think I will be as successful this time. This task falls on you.”

“I can’t put him in the uthenera.”

“No, but this can.” She produced a bottle, seemingly from thin air. It was small, barely the length of her palm. “I just need a few drops of your blood to complete it.”

“What will that do?”

“All you need do is get Solas to drink it. It will undo what your blood has undone.”

“This is ridiculous. How am I supposed to get an Ancient Elven God to drink a potion when he’s intent on mass murder?” She demanded.

“Because, first and foremost, Solas is a trickster. He doesn’t know you, he doesn’t know how long he’s slumbered. He knows nothing. Keep him on the mountain, find him. He’ll have questions, he’ll play innocent.

“How am I supposed to know what he looks like?”

“You know.” She said softly. “I saw you in my vision and you saw me. He was there.”

Ethylia swallowed. She didn’t like this one bit. She didn’t want to get that close to Solas, but…she caressed the edges of her mother’s journal as Thom began to argue, “She’s right, this is ridiculous. We can’t expect her to trek through darkspawn territory and deliver a potion into the mouth of the wolf. It’s impossible.”

“It’s a simple plan. Put it in a canteen. Offer him simple hospitality.”

“Darkspawn aren’t simple.” 

“We can send someone with her.” Leliana suggested. “We can spare a Warden for this. For the fate of the world.”

“Do you have no feelings Leliana? You would send her into the darkness?!”

“Papa,” Ethylia set her hand on Thom’s shoulder, “I am the best scout we have. I can do this.” She was still caressing the journal. “Maybe this is what I was born to do, to finish my mother’s work. I have to protect them, to save the world, as she did.”

“You are not your mother, you don’t have to live up to everything she did, no one does.”

She scoffed, “How often do you give me the “your mother was an inspiration, you should aspire to be as she” speech?”

“Don’t throw my own words in my face.” 

She smiled softly, “If anyone can trick the Trickster God, shouldn’t his own daughter be able to do it?”

He scowled and walked away from her before he walked back, “You’re not going alone.”

“They need you here. You’re a Commander of the Free Forces of Ferelden.” A fairly new regimen, created after the Inquisiton’s army disbanded. The Free Forces of Ferelden were volunteers, set to help guard Thedas against the Blight. The volunteers were almost entirely made up of people that used to fight under the Inquisition.

With Divine Victoria’s reformations of the Circle and Templars, she’d asked Cullen to join in her efforts. They created a function of middlemen to stand between Templars and Circle mages, with more freedoms for those in the Circle. The middlemen were essentially secondary Templars that did not they take lyrium. They were a Chantry force that ensured peace and justice, especially in times of needs or for Circle mages and Templars. They investigated any problems occurring between the two factions with a Seeker to guide them and reduced the number of Templars overseeing the mages. It’d worked well for the last few decades. 

“I’ll go.” Tenner spoke up. She’d almost forgotten he was in the room, he’d been listening silently. “I’ll watch her back, as I always have.” 

“Now you ask me to send both my children into darkspawn territory?”

“Warden Herys should be able to spare one of his people to help them fight darkspawn. They’ll be better able to circle around them with a Warden in their mix.”

“Fine, then I demand Warden Nyxon. He’s the best they have.”

“They’ll need a mage. Just in case.” Cullen said, “I’ll gather a couple warriors and a mage from my forces.”

“I can’t believe this is happening. We’re really going to do this?” Thom questioned and Ethylia nodded. He faced her and Tenner. “You will be careful out there. And you will come back to me.”

“When it’s done.” She nodded.

“One more thing,” Morrigan lifted her hand, “it’s not much, but I have this.” She pulled a necklace from her pocket and Ethylia felt her eyes go wide as she rushed forward. She grabbed it, rolling the small piece of bone in her hand before she pulled out her mother’s journal. She tore through the pages until she found it, a picture her mother had drawn of Solas’s necklace. It was a broken half of it.

“Where did you get this?” Ethylia asked, voice shaking.

“The day your mother died. A broken piece of it was in your mother’s hand as she clung to him as she died. I thought it might one day be useful. This piece if very important to him, I’ve used it to create a spell…it’ll protect you from his magic.” There was a new string tied to it and she lifted it and laid it on Ethylia’s neck.

“Thank you.” Ethylia whispered, clutching the piece of bone in her hand. She wasn’t sure why the necklace affected her so much, but it did. She closed her eyes, holding it. Her mother had held it, touched it. She swallowed and opened her eyes. 

“I think we should try to get some sleep, we’ll have everyone gathered by morning.” Cullen announced. “A lot is riding on you now, Ethylia. You mustn’t fail.”

“I’ll do my best.” She whispered.


	6. Lavellan: Reading That Old Journal Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a flashback to Lavellan and Solas as Ethylia goes back and reads the journal her mother left for her about her life.

LAVELLAN  
“I found something for you.” Lavellan said as she watched Solas across the rotunda. He had his paintbrush lifted in the air, ready to make a stroke, when she spoke. He lowered his arm slowly and turned to face her. She thought she could see the smile waiting to pry up his lips, but he always tried to fight it. She didn’t know what scared him so much but she knew he felt what she did. He proved it every time he couldn’t hold back from kissing her, each time he grabbed her and pulled her in.  
Like that first time in a memory of Haven before it’d gone under the snow. They’d spoken about the Mark on her hand, how he’d watched her as she slept, trying to save her from the Mark. He was always there for her, if not a little more subtly than some people.  
“Yes, Inquisitor?” He called across the room.  
“So formal.” She shot him a smile and started forward. He straightened his back a little and went to tuck his hands behind his back, a habit he’d had since the day she met him, then he recalled the paintbrush in his hand. He glanced down at it and looked a little panicked, like he didn’t know what to do with himself before he just let his hands hang down by his sides.  
“My apologies, shall I address you less courteously?” There was a glow in his eyes and she knew what was on his mind.  
“Don’t you dare say it.”  
“Bucket head.”  
“No!” She covered her face and stumbled backwards. “I’m going to kill Sera!”  
“Hmm,” she felt his hand on her arm, warming her skin, “I find her tricks amusing.”  
“That’s because it didn’t happen to you.” She peeked out at him. Just a few days ago she’d fallen victim to one of Sera’s pranks. Not even a week after helping her set up traps and pranks for each of her advisors.  
“Oh, she’s gotten me already.”  
She really should have known better. Honestly. She’d helped Sera set up the first bucket prank for Josephine and out of nowhere the little snake did the same thing to her. She was still plotting revenge for Sera dumping a bucket of water on her head when his words caught up to her. “Wait, what? She got you?”  
“Come here,” he chuckled and folded his hands behind his back, paintbrush in all. The moment he felt it scrape against his clothes his eyes went wide and he yanked it back and she laughed.  
“You’ve got a bit of paint just there.” She pressed her hand over it and pulled it away with a vibrant yellow clinging to her hand. “And right here.” She set her hand on his cheek before he could pull away.  
“Did you just paint me?” He gasped with amusement.  
“You’re always so serious, Solas, I had to brighten you up.”  
“It would be a grave shame if I didn’t share in such sunny optimism.” He leaned forward and she tried to run but his arms swooped around her. She started laughing as he pulled her in, pressing his cheek against her face, rubbing a streak of paint across her nose and eyebrow. She tried to push him away and he did it again, this time spreading the cheer over her cheekbones.  
She was still laughing and giggling in his arms when his lips found hers. She went still and heard the paintbrush clatter to the stone floor, his kiss deepening and she leaned into him. Her arms were tucked in between them, trapped, and he kept her that way, kissing her as his hands buried their selves in her hair.  
“Well, no one told me I was getting a show with my wine this evening.”  
Solas let her go immediately at the sound of Dorian’s voice. His cheeks tinged red and she felt hers doing the same. She hadn’t even thought for a second about anyone watching. She swallowed as she looked up to see him leaning over the rail of the library, staring down at them. He lifted his glass in a mock cheer and winked at her.  
“Good for you, Inquisitor.”  
She bit her lip, trying not to laugh, “I guess I should be going.” She whispered but her insides were alive, dancing to a rhythm only she and Solas had. As he stood there, yellow paint on his face, it somehow made his eyes stand out all the more, a steely gray blue that drew her in.  
“What was it you wanted to give me?”  
“Oh.” She’d forgotten. “Yes, of course, um,” she hurried away from him and into the short hallway. She’d left his gift by the door. She returned, holding the long staff in her hands and his eyes lit up. “I had a master work staff crafted for you.” She held it out to him and he reached for it slowly, running his hands along the wood in almost a caressing sort of way that made her want to feel his hands on her body. She swallowed as he marveled at the piece and took it from her gently.  
“It’s finely crafted.” He met her eyes, holding the staff with both hands. “Beautiful.” That flirty look on his face said he was no longer talking about the staff.  
“I’m glad you like it.”  
“I do. I look forward to using it.”  
“I’m glad to hear that as well. I should probably tell you now we’re leaving in the morning.”  
“Where to?”  
“Scout Harding has sent word to us. She’d set up a camp for us in the Western Approach.”  
He sighed, “I’ll be happy to not be visiting the Storm Coast again.”  
“I could go a whole lifetime without seeing another bear.”  
He chuckled lightly and she turned to start away from him when she paused and turned back, “You never finished, what did Sera prank you on?”  
Amusement lit his eyes. “She thought it would be fun to replace my paints with soup. We’ll see how she enjoys drinking paint instead of water from her canteen today.”  
“Solas!” She laughed but that twinkle never left his eyes. “Are you ever going to let her prank you?”  
“I’m certain with enough practice, she’ll find a way to eventually fool me. Until then,” he gave a light shrug.  
For the love of the Dales, she was falling in love with this man. She could feel it in her chest, deep inside her bones. Everything about him spoke to her. The way he helped the people of the Hinterlands, encouraging her to do the most menial tasks that other people wouldn’t. They hunted for a ring stolen from a widow by a Templar. They brought blankets to those shivering in the Crossroads. He helped her plant flowers at a grave for the elder elf that could not do it. SOlas was with her every step of the way.  
“I think I should be going now.” She murmured softly.  
“Wait,” he stepped closer and she felt her heart jump with sort of joy. She longed to be pulled into his arms again, to feel him hold her.

 

“Did you even sleep?” Ethylia lifted her eyes from the journal and spotted Tenner as he awoke. It was early and a candle glowed softly beside her.  
“A little.” She said and she had, but she’d risen earlier than expected. She tended to use those times to read through her mother’s journal, reading stories of the Inquisition, of her mother falling in love. She knew all the stories, every word on every page, but she still re-read them. It was how she kept her mother alive in her own mind.  
“Reading that old journal again.” Tenner commented as he yawned and stretched.  
“Reading about her and Solas.”  
“Which story?”  
“The one with the paint.”  
He smiled, “You always liked that one.”  
“It’s the moment she realized she was falling in love with him.” Ethylia told him as she closed the journal and blew out the candle. They wouldn’t need it for much longer, the sun was coming up. “She mentions a lot of the things he helped her do, aiding people, traveling through the Hinterlands and the Stormcoast with her. He treaded through the Fallow Mire with her. I don’t understand how he could do all that with her, and still want to destroy everything he helped her rebuild.”  
Tenner shrugged, “You know I don’t have those answers.”  
She respected that he didn’t tell her that Solas had been lying the whole time about who he really was, that he’d been planning to use the orb to destroy everything. She was tired of hearing people say that. She didn’t know what she thought about Solas. It was hard when everyone around her told her he was bad, but that her mother insisted he was good. It was hard reading her mother’s words, seeing him through her eyes, and then rationalizing what the rest of the world thought of him.  
She sighed and started gathering her things. She didn’t have time to think about it today. “We better get ready.”  
“Yep.” He stood up and quickly followed suit.


	7. Darkspawn Will Eat You Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The journey into darkspawn territory begins, the search for Solas is on, and the companions aren't quite getting along.

“You got a spare sword?” Thom called from behind them and Tenner turned.

“Father, I only need one.”

“Take mine, it’s a sturdy blade.”

“I like mine, Father.”

“Do you have extra daggers? If you drop it you’ll need them.”

“Father,”

“Ehtylia, you have extra daggers? How many throwing knives do you need?” He held out a bundle to her and she accepted them silently. She’d seen the horde of darkspawn out there, she’d take extra without complaint. “Food?”

“We’re fine.” Tenner grabbed his shoulder and pulled him to a halt. “We’re fine.”

Thom took a deep breath, his shoulders sagging and he pulled Tenner in for a hug before he reached for her. He held them both for a long moment, his breathing ragged. “Look out for each other. Ethylia, don’t let him start any fights he can’t win. Tenner, you keep her out of trouble. I know she attracts it but I’m not there to help either of you.”

“We’ve fought darkspawn before, and bandits.”

“You haven’t fought like this.” Thom stated.

“Don’t worry,” Ethylia laid her hand on his cheek. “If anything, I can creep out of there while they eat Tenner.”

“Hey!” Tenner pushed her and she laughed.

“You’ll at least get one of us back, Papa.”

“I’m going to throw you at the first darkspawn we see.” Tenner walked away and towards the gathered group waiting for them at the path into the mountains. She laughed and turned but Thom was staring at her intently.

“I know, we’ll be careful.” She hugged him again and then followed after Tenner. Thom had to know they’d always look out for each other. They always had. 

She didn’t have time to really dwell on it as they neared Cullen and Leliana. The witch Morrigan was nowhere in sight, but a small group was waiting and she scowled at the same time Tenner shouted, “Fuck no, he’s not coming with us.”

“What is he doing here?” She demanded, glaring at Fuire.

Cullen scowled right back, “Fuire is the best warrior I have that I can spare.”

“He—”

“I’m aware of the difficulties between the three of you. I’m also aware of the fact that I gave each of you a direct order to cease such behaviors on pain of death.”

“You did not.” Tenner balked.

“Well I am now, pain of death because you will not make it out of the Mountain Pass if you don’t support each other. You need to work together out there.”

“Cullen, anyone but him.”

“Hey, look,” Fuire interjected, “I’m not happy about traveling with a knife ear either—”

“Knock it off!” Cullen smacked him over the back of the head, then glared at her, “And it’s Commander Cullen to you.” She glowered at him. How dare he pull rank right now? She didn’t argue, and Tenner was casting sharp looks at Fuire as Cullen straightened his back and motioned to another warrior, “This is Zeke, the best shields and swords warrior I can spare.”

“My brother.” Fuire put his arm around Zeke’s shoulder. Zeke shrugged him off but glared as another stepped forward. She easily recognized the staff in her arms that marked her as a mage.

“This is Mirah. Fire mage and an effective healer. I shouldn’t be sparing any healer as we need them here, but your mission is important. You already know Warden Nyxon, I assume?” She nodded and Tenner did, too. Everyone knew who the Wardens in camp were. They garnered attention everywhere they went. Especially a Warden that was a dwarf as skilled as he was. “They’ve been briefed on everything they need to know.” Cullen’s wording let her know he hadn’t told them everything. 

He fell silent and she took her cue. This was it. She turned to Thom one last time and hugged him again. Instead of hugging Tenner, he saluted him and shook his hand, whispering for them both to stay safe. She begrudgingly ambled towards her new troup and stood with them, saluting Cullen and Leliana. 

“As this is Ethylia’s mission, she will be calling most of the shots, however, Warden Nyxon is the highest rank. I want you to respect his orders, particularly in times when safety is a concern.”

“Which will be every second we’re out there.” Ethylia muttered under her breath. 

“Maker be with you.”

 

No one spoke at first. They just followed the mountain path uphill. She knew this path well. She’d walked it a dozen times in recent weeks. Or had they been here for months now? She didn’t even know. In that time she’d learned there was a lot more to fear in the world than people calling her knife ear. There were scarier things that horror stories about her mother fighting demons, too. Getting surrounded by a horde of darkspawn was definitely higher up her list right now. Right next to fighting Corypheus. It was a nightmare she used to have as a child, fighting the monster her mother had destroyed. 

The strange part wasn’t the monster, it was the wolf that always came to help her. 

Ethylia shook her head to dislodge that thought. Stepping over a particularly high rock, she used another boulder to push herself forward and the path flattened out a bit. It would stay like this for a while before they had to climb upwards again. Once they got to the river, it would be a steady upward ascent, mostly following the river. 

The rest of their soldiers were further east, fighting darkspawn as they sprang up in the area. They would be moving westward, towards the Mountain Pass. Part of her mind was still reeling with disbelief of what she’d learned. She’d thought she knew everything about her mother’s life. All the important things, anyways, but all this time she’d never known how she died.

She’d never known Solas had caused it. 

She didn’t know how she’d feel when she reached him. If they reached him. She just knew she couldn’t tell him who she was. He didn’t deserve to know. If it changed anything at all, which she doubted it would, she didn’t know why it would even matter. He still had to go back into his slumber. Permanently. 

“How many days to the Pass?” She curled her lip at the very sound of Fuire’s voice but he was here, she would deal with it. She’d do it better than them, too. Unlike Tenner, she could keep her fists to herself. 

“Six. Four if we make haste.” She just hoped she didn’t have to talk Tenner out of too many fights. She glanced sideways at the warden. If she kept herself composed and Fuire didn’t, she could use the warden against him when they got back. He would second her words on Fuire’s behavior.

“Good.”

“Eager to get back?” 

“He has a date.” Zeke spoke up.

“Hey, quit telling the knife ear about my life—”

Ethylia glared as she cut him off, “I’d appreciate it if you kept your insults to your self.”

“It’s what you are kni—” 

“Hey!” Warden Nyxon shouted so sharply that they all flinched. “You will not insult anyone in this squad. Commander Cullen is right, we have to work together. I don’t plan on dying because some novice shit-for-brains can’t hold his tongue.”

“I’m not a novice—”

Ethylia scrambled out of the way as Nyxon lunged for Fuire, swinging him around effortlessly and slamming him into the dirt. Fuire attempted to fight back, they wrestled for a moment before Nyxon pinned him, his face planted in the gravelly sand. The others stood by, eyes a little wide, except Zeke looked like he was trying to figure out if he should intervene or not.

“Stay.” She held her hand out to him. He glanced at her and didn’t move and she was relieved that he seemed less prone to psychosis than his brother. 

“You are a novice.” Nyxon hissed in Fuire’s ear. “Without my guidance, the darkspawn will eat you alive. You know nothing about fighting them and you know nothing about respecting your commanders. Her rank is not only higher than yours, but she is the leader of this mission. Do you want to complete your job or do you want to get my foot completely up your ass for your insubordinate antics?” Fuire didn’t speak other than grunting a little. “Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Yes, Warden Nyxon.” He corrected.

“Yes, Warden Nyxon, sir, I understand.”

Nyxon shoved him and rose to his feet, ambling back to the trail and continuing on his way without looking back. Ethylia swallowed as she watched Fuire clamber to his feet and she lowered her hand so Zeke could help him up. He dusted off his back for him but he didn’t say a word. Fuire looked like he wanted to tackle something but he followed after the warden silently. Zeke shrugged and did the same while the rest of them glanced around at each other.

“Well,” Tenner finally said, “this is going to be an interesting trip.”

“Remind me to thank Nyxon for that. No one’s ever stood up for me like that before.” She said as Tenner took to the path. Mirah didn’t move, eyeing her for a long moment before she reached up and swept back her hair. Ethylia wasn’t inclined to ecstasy over seeing another elf, but seeing those pointed ears made her smile.

They were less pointed than hers, her face not so elongated, her eyes more human. “Me mother was elf. I take after me father, but if I wear me hair back, I sometimes get cruder comments. You’re right, not many stand up for us.”

Ethylia held out her hand and they clasped forearms. “May our journey pass better for it. Take my word for it, keep your hair down. Fuire has had a vendetta against me for as long as I’ve known him.”

“At least now he’ll think twice.” They hurried to catch up to the group.


	8. Kind of...Rattled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The companions are getting to know each other and the group has their first run-in with darkspawn in the middle of a chase for prey.

Ethylia hid her face at the featherlight touches on her cheek, thinking it had to be Tenner waking her up. He thought it was funny to mess with her sometimes. He wouldn't find it so amusing when she bashed him over the head for it. The touch continued, a little more grabby this time and diving into her hair and she frowned, opening her eyes.

"Whoa," she blinked with surprised but didn't jerk or move sharply. "Who are you?"

The horse standing over her didn't answer as it continued to search her hair for food, sniffing, it's whiskered lips fluttering across her face. She laughed lightly and sat up, brushing her hand across it's nose and it sniffed deeply.

"I don't have any food, sweetling." She tilted her head back, spotting a saddle on it's back and blood. Whoever the rider had been, they must've fallen in battle. There were two other horses following after this one, each with a saddle still on it's back.

"Ferelden soldiers' horses." A deep voice spoke up and she twisted her head, still petting the chestnut mare. 

"There's blood all over this saddle." She stated, "I assume they lost their riders."

"Most likely."

"Can you tell if any of them are tainted?"

"I sense no taint here." He replied and rose to his feet, stretching out a bit before he walked their way. He patted the horse and examined the other two. "We'll round them up. They can carry our packs."

"We can't take them into darkspawn territory."

"No, but we're not there yet. They can carry our things and we can make a quicker escape with them if needs be."

"There's not enough to carry all of us."

"If we double up it'll be fine."

She didn't argue. They'd made good timing yesterday, exhausting the party before they stopped to make camp. She was surprised they'd all kept up as well as they did. In the weeks they'd been here, she'd grown used to climbing through the rough terrain, but they weren't. Especially Warden Nyxon. Being a dwarf, his smaller, yet stocky stature lent him little aid in his ability to climb. He did it without complaint and he was often at the head of the group. 

Wardens were tougher than she'd originally given them credit for.

In the days since the Inquisition, they'd rebuilt after Corypheus had nearly torn them apart from the inside out. Most of the wardens that were alive today had never seen a Blight, but now they needed them. They needed their veterans for their experience, all of them for the wisdom they could provide. She appreciated the help Nyxon brought her.

"I wanted to thank you for coming. I know it was an order, but I also know wardens make a great sacrifice for us, as the Chantry says. You honor us by lending your aid."

"You believe in the Chantry?"

She shrugged idly, "I believe in the Maker, but I wouldn't say I followed the Chantry."

"So...you don't believe in the elvish gods then?"

"Just because I'm an elf-"

"That's not what I meant." He cut her off. "I mean no offense, Ethylia. I just know what I've heard. Your father didn't know of you until your mother passed and you were sent to live with him. I didn't know if perhaps she taught you of the elvish pantheon." 

"Oh." She tried to still her rapidly beating heart. He spoke of the cover story they often used to distinguish Thom as her father. "My mother believed differently than most elves. She went a lot of places, read a lot of things. She knew so much...she believed the elvish pantheon were real people, but that they were not gods, merely powerful mages. Through stories, through time they became gods."

"Sounds like blasphemy."

"To some elves, perhaps. I try not to talk about it."

"You don't strike me as a half elf." He replied. 

"I take after my mother."

"Clearly." He nodded. 

"Is there a reason for this interrogation?"

"Just trying to figure out why they felt you were the best woman for the job."

"My father is tied to this mission. I will complete his work." She was amazed that she lied so effortlessly to a warden, but it was natural after all these years to pretend Thom was her father. He was her father.

Warden Nyxon smirked and stopped petting the horse, rotating so that he faced her directly. "You don't have to lie to me, Ethylia." Shit. Her heart kicked up a notch inside her chest and she worried it was loud enough for him to hear it. "They want to make sure word of this doesn't get out. That's why the sent you and Tenner along. If the people of Thedas knew the Dread Wolf had woke, they would forget the Blight and tear down here to kill him their selves. Fuire and Zeke owe Commander Cullen a debt, he can keep them quiet, and Mirah is one of Leliana's spies, of course, she knows how to keep her tongue."

She swallowed, wondering how much of that was true and how he knew it. He laughed as if he knew what she was thinking, but he really didn't. She was honestly just relieved he wasn't spouting out that he knew she was Solas's daughter. "How do you know all of this?"

"I'm a warden. I'm privy to a lot of details. Don't worry. I only bring this up because I want you to know that I am with you in this matter, you can trust me. I'm here to help. Wardens are used to keeping secrets."

"Thank you." She murmured softly as someone moved behind them. He fell silent and she turned her head to see the others beginning to stir and wake. Fuire hadn't said a word to her since Nyxon had pinned him on the ground yesterday, she hoped today went the same. 

"What is that?" Tenner questioned groggily.

"It's a horse, you'd think you'd know that, you've only ridden hundreds of them."

"I know what a horse is but how did it get here?"

She opened her mouth to speak when a scream sounded nearby, sending a chill straight up her spine. Everyone was on their feet in an instant, weapons at the ready. "What the hell was that?" Zeke gasped.

"Move!" Nyxon didn't wait as he bolted away from camp, sword up, ready to fight. Ethylia took his cue and moved, staying on his heels as they ducked off the path, past rocks and shrubs, until they rounded a boulder and he stopped abruptly, pushing her back into the wall of the rock. Mirah brushed against her shoulder as Nyxon leaned forward and peeked around the edge of the boulder. "Darkspawn, it's got something cornered up against one of those rocks."

"Is that what those things sound like?" Mirah whispered, eyes wide. "That was...nerve wracking."

"Keep alert for more, just in case."

"I can help you." Ethylia whispered.

"Just watch my back." He said and sprang into action, waving his sword in the air and calling out to it. Ethylia peeked around the boulder, watching him as he drew it's attention. The creature looked savage and fierce, almost humanlike, but too twisted and grotesque to be remotely similar. 

Just as the beast charged him, she saw a second one come creeping out from behind another rock. "Shit, watch my back." She hissed quickly and dashed to intercept the second darkspawn. It wasn't her first time fighting any off, but she'd never get used to the smell as it assaulted her nostrils.

The second one came at her, slashing and clawing at her and she ducked effectively and swiped her dagger across it's ribcage. It gave one of those gut wrenching screams as she came up behind it and hacked off the head in one quick swipe of her dagger. As it collapsed, she looked around to make sure it was safe and then focused on Nyxon.

"You've done this before." He commented.

"Aha," she shook her head as she gave false laughter, "don't go thinking about recruiting me. I'm happy as I am."

"You'd make a good warden."

"I'd make a bad enemy." She countered and he laughed.

"I wouldn't recruit you anyways. Too argumentative."

She smirked and looked behind her, towards whatever poor creature they'd cornered against the rocks, and was surprised to see a foot hanging out of a crevice at the base of the rock. "What the...?" She crept forward. There were prints in the bits of sand at the base of the rock, something that looked like handprints dragging and pulling and pushing to get their self under the rock. "Hello? Are you alright?"

The foot moved, struggling to get underneath the rock and Nyxon stepped closer, "Grey Warden Nyxon at your service, are you alright?"

The foot wiggled again and she looked up at Nyxon as he motioned for her to stand back. He lowered his sword, ready to pounce if the foot belonged to a darkspawn. His eyes narrowed and Ethylia was stepping back as the foot wiggled some more, pushing out, bit by bit.

"Um," someone spoke clearly, "do you think you could, perhaps, help?"

"I think we just did." Nyxon commented and Ethylia rolled her eyes before she brushed past him.

"I'll help you." She wasn't sure how well he could hear her from under the rock. She stared awkwardly at his foot for a moment before she latched onto it and tugged gently. "How in the Maker did you get wedged under there?"

"You'd be surprised what you can do when those things are on your ass and you're out of arrows." As if to punctuate his point, a bow came sliding out from under the rock. He had both feet out now, he must've been pushing with his hands as she tugged on his feet and slowly helped him ease out of there.

As he finally sprang free, his shirt was ruffled up over his head and he scrambled to tug it down and Ethylia had to fight hard not to react as male perfection rolled out in front of her. Her mouth went dry as she tried to focus on anything but his sharply chiseled jawline, delicately full lips, and glowing amber eyes. 

"He's an elf." Someone abruptly pointed out and she was too busy drooling to realize it was an accusation before everyone was up in arms.

"Whoa, whoa, wait a second!" The man threw up his arms to shield his face.

"Stop!" Ethylia shot to her feet, standing over him.

"He's an elf." Mirah hissed quietly and nodded her head at him.

She shook her head quickly, "It's not him."

"Are you sure?" Nyxon grabbed her by her shirt and jerked her forward, away from the elf, and looked back down at him. 

"I've seen him before and this isn't him." She stated.

"How've you seen him," Fuire demanded, "when he's been locked away for two decades?"

"Morrigan gave me a vision of him, okay? I know what he looks like and this isn't him!" She pushed Nyxon away from her roughly. "Stand down, all of you." She glared, waiting, watching. They had to make a decision some time, right? Then their warden lowered his blade.

"I can't very well expect you to trust me if I don't trust you. He's not the one we're after." He agreed and sheathed his sword.

She heard him release a deep breath behind her and she turned to face him. "Sorry about that, are you okay?"

"I was and then I wasn't and now I'm just kind of...rattled." He looked past her at the people she was with and then at the dead darkspawn. "You have a warden."

"Yes."

"I take it you're looking for someone specific?" 

"Not you." She flashed him a smile, though she could look at him all day. She quickly berated herself for that and stood up, offering him a hand. He accepted it, standing and brushing dust and dirt off his clothes.

"Thank you. All of you."

"What are you doing out here? You're not part of the Ferelden or Orlesian troops." Tenner questioned.

"No, of course not." He frowned. "Just a traveler from the other side of the mountains."

"There are no elves that side of the mountain." He frowned, stroking his chin.

"I told you, I'm a traveler, I wandered there, and have been wandering further. It seems it was a bad choice to take the Mountain Pass, however, as I was quickly overrun with those manic things." He waved his hand at the darkspawn. "I've been trying to sneak my way out of here for days now."

"Don't you have a Dalish clan to get to or something?" Fuire cut in. "I don't see your tattoos, maybe you're a runaway slave?"

"I am no one's slave." He snapped, voice abruptly dark.

"Enough." Ethylia interjected because she could see the heat rising in Fuire's eyes, his lust for a good fight a heartbeat from breaking out. She faced him again, "We're aware of the darkspawn, take the path down the mountain, follow the river if you get lost. There's a village down there, they can offer you shelter when you arrive, but you should move on quickly."

He frowned, "You're not going down the mountain?" His brows knitted together. "Are you insane?"

"We're looking for someone."

"I gathered that, let the darkspawn deal with him, you can't go back that way. The horde is thick, you'll never get through." 

His concern was too kind and more than some of her party deserved. "We have our orders."

"Yeah," Fuire announced, "so move along."

He pursed his lips a moment before he nodded and stooped to grab his bow. He reached under the rock and dug around with one hand a minute before producing a satchel and hanging it over his shoulder. "Do any of you happen to have arrows to spare?"

"None of us are archers." Nyxon explained quickly. "We've just come up, you shouldn't encounter any darkspawn. Here, take this dagger just in case. It's all I can spare for you."

"I have a dagger-" he broke off as Nyxon suddenly flung the knife away from him. Ethylia jerked back as it thunked against something and turned. 

"More darkspawn, move back!" Nyxon called as he retreated to the rocks. The elf looked panicked, frozen as he glanced down at his previous hiding space and after the warden ducking behind some other rocks.

Ethylia took pity on him and grabbed onto his arm as she ran by and took cover behind the boulder. "Stick with us until the threat is over, then it'll be safe for you to go down the mountain."

"Uhh, I don't think so." He muttered and pointed. She followed his indication and spotted more darkspawn where their camp was. This wasn't right! They were only a day outside of camp, the horde she'd seen couldn't be this close.

"Nyxon?" She called to him, "they can't be this close to home, can they?"

"No, this is just a small group." He insisted.

"Small." She muttered and got ready for the fight.


	9. Protector from Destruction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fighting darkspawn and getting to know their new arrival.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a bit of my own take on Ethylia's name and it's meaning (i.e. my own take on the Elven language), as seen in this chapter

Ethylia grunted with effort as she ducked a swipe from the longsword of one of the darkspawn. Another was already coming at her from the right so she pushed off the ground and leapt over it in one smooth motion, landing on her feet. The darkspawn was still swinging its blade hard at where she'd been, giving her the opening she needed. She struck hard and quick at its back, letting it drop as she wheeled for the next one.

Surprisingly, Fuire was stepping forward beside her, dispatching a darkspawn with ease. He kept his sword up and ready as the bastards closed in. She glanced over her shoulder, they were outnumbered enough that the creatures had managed a circle around them, brandishing their weapons before they charged.

She looked at Fuire as she braced for the next round of fighting, "Blow a hole through the line, get behind them!"

She half expected him not to follow orders, but instead he nodded and started swinging his sword skillfully at the group. She fought with him, taking every inch of ground she could take, ducking blows, dancing around them. As Fuire pushed through to the outside, he turned and started hitting them from behind, driving his sword through the back of their skulls.

With the gap next to her, however, it left an opening for the darkspawn to move forward. They flanked her quickly and she had to fight harder, sweat trickling down her brow. They didn't get the chance to sit comfortably, though, as a blast of fire came spiraling at them. She felt the hum of a protective barrier spread across her and realized Mirah had lent her magical aid. 

She breathed a sigh of relief as several darkspawn went up in flame and went streaming across the rocks, only to run directly into Fuire's blade. She didn't have time to focus as another came bearing down on her. She lifted her dagger to block it's blow and twisted, but before she could strike the killing blow, an arrow zipped out of nowhere and took it down.

Ethylia didn't complain, she just turned and kept fighting. When another dropped from an arrow, she moved forward, clearing the way until there was nothing left to fight. As the last one fell, she was panting for breath, a rush of adrenaline spiking her blood that she loved. Maybe Tenner had always been right, she was superior at stealth, but she was just as good at fighting, and she loved it. 

"Is anyone injured?" Warden Nyxon called out.

She looked around at her group, Zeke was shaking blood off his shield, shaking his head in response. Tenner called out that he was fine. Mirah held up one hand, "I was all the way over here."

"Privileges of the mage and archer." Nyxon muttered. He had a gruff way of handling himself, but she was beginning to see that he was mostly fair words and humor, no matter how sharply the words sounded when they came out.

"Speaking of archers," she faced their new elf, "I think we owe you thanks. You didn't have to help."

He shrugged, "When he knocked that darkspawn down," he pointed towards Zeke, "I noticed two arrows in it's back. Once it was dead, I pulled them out. Then I found a third. I'm sorry I couldn't do more."

"You did plenty," Nyxon said, "I saw you nail a darkspawn by shooting between me and Tenner. You don't take that kind of shot unless you know you won't miss. Impressive."

"I've been shooting for years." He said nonchalantly, "It was nothing."

"Shut up and take the damn compliment." Nyxon laughed. His laugh sounded just as gruff as his voice. He looked around at the darkspawn, they'd come from both sides. She waited to see what he would make of it. "I count seventeen. As I said, a small group that branched away. The village is still safe. They have patrols, guards on watch, even if they'd made it down the mountain, it's well guarded down there."

"Good." Ethylia nodded and looked towards the archer. She was braced to tell him that his journey down the mountain should be safe and clear of darkspawn when she realized he was scrambling around his neck, looking around frantically. "What's wrong?"

"I've lost my necklace." He said quickly, searching the ground before he hurried towards the place he'd taken refuge earlier. She watched him run, looking at the ground in case she spotted the necklace.

"What does it look like?" She asked.

"It has a couple of small stones, drakestone, and a black raven's feather." 

"We don't have time to search for a lost necklace." Nyxon reminded her.

She nodded and stood up straighter, "Sir, we must be moving on. Your journey down to the mountain should be safe, will bid you farewell."

He leaned back from looking underneath the rock and met her gaze. "Well, I'll travel with you."

"Pardon?"

Nyxon shook his head, "Out of the question."

"It wasn't a question. I have to go back."

"For a necklace?" Tenner frowned, "Are you mad?"

"That necklace is sacred to me. It's all I have left." 

"You can't come with us."

"I'm not coming with you, I'm travelling up the mountain to find my necklace. You have no say in this. I'm suggesting it would be nice to have company, since we travel the same path."

Nyxon's beady eyes narrowed on him and he stepped forward, "As Grey Warden, I am commanding you to move down. I will not risk anymore people dying or getting infected with the taint."

The elf pushed to his feet and glared back. "Well since you can't force me back down the mountain, I don't see how that's relevant. Are you going to arrest me, sir? Carry me back down? Leave me here with a guard you can't spare? I didn't think so."

Nyxon opened his mouth, face getting redder, but Ethylia could see it was a losing battle. They had no way to force the elf down the mountain. They could arrest him when they returned for sheer stupidity, but really, what was the point? "Nyxon," she set her hand on his shoulder.

"He's not coming with us, I will not be responsible for looking out for some elf who should've had the smarts to heed our orders."

"He doesn't need defending. A few arrows and we'll be grateful for his help should we run into more darkspawn. Oh, look," she pointed, "there's three arrows right here for him. It's not much, but any help he can provide is beneficial. When he finds his necklace, we'll send him on his way."

"That's all I want." The elf stated. "Just my necklace. Then I'll get out of your hair."

His next glare went directly to her, spitting fire as he turned and walked away without another word. Ethylia shrugged and motioned to the elf as he came walking back. "What's your name?"

"Zathrael." 

"You may walk with us while you search." She told him, "I am Ethylia." 

"Striking."

"Pardon?"

"Your name."

"You know what it means?"

"Safe guardian, or protector, if you like."

"Her full name," Tenner spoke up, "is Ethylia Syn. You never told me what your name meant." He put his elbow on her shoulder and leaned against her.

"That's because I didn't know what it meant." She said but Zathrael was looking at her with surprise.

"Ethylia Syn?" 

"What does it mean?" Tenner asked curiously.

"Well, where mythal would be motherly protector and guardian of justice, synthal would be destroyer of justice. Syn on it's own would simply mean destroyer...although I suppose someone could've misinterpreted it as justice, not the former."

Ehtylia frowned, "I'm going to assume my mother would warrant Protector of Justice as part of my name, not Protector of Destruction." She almost choked as a realization hit her. She'd had no idea what her name meant, she was raised by humans after all, but as she said it out loud it came crashing into her chest. Protector of Destruction. She was protecting the world from destruction. Her name meant Protector from Destruction, not of.

Her mother couldn't have known right? She couldn't have known Ethylia would be out here one day, trying to put Solas back in his eternal sleep. Nyxon called out from the path, he was getting far ahead of them now and everyone turned and began to follow. When she didn't move, Zathrael stepped closer, "Did I say something wrong?"

"No, no, of course not. I just didn't know."

He shrugged, "Many city elves do not know much of their elvhen history, including meaning behind their names. Yours feels like it has a lot of purpose and intent behind it, though." He lifted his shoulders again and then walked after the group, mentioning his necklace again. Tenner was still leaning on her, watching her.

"You okay?"

She licked her lips and looked up at him. "Protector from Destruction. That's what it means. Do you think she knew one day I would be here? Fighting against...Solas?"

"Maybe." He murmured and pulled her into his side, hugging her. He continued to lean on her as they walked towards the path, his arm strewn about her shoulders. "I haven't had the time to ask you how you feel about this? I wanted to, but things were so rushed."

"Honestly, the other night is a bit of a blur in my mind now. I was angry, I still am. I don't know what I'm going to do when I see Solas. She loved him, so much, and he killed her. Whether he meant to or not..." she felt herself tear up and had to fight against them. "She died feeling that betrayal."

"I think she died loving him." He countered. "I was far too young to remember your mother, but despite everything they said about her death the other night, you know what stuck out the most? She died in his arms. Holding him, clutching onto his necklace so hard that she broke it." He tapped the necklace that was now around her own neck, pulling it out from under her armor so they could examine it. "The last of her strength went into holding him and he stopped. In that one moment and time, he stopped everything he was doing to be with her. Morrigan said he gave up and let her weaken him. I don't think that's what happened. I think he let your mother hold him, he let her last moments be the two of them together, giving her what she wanted. He quit tearing down the Veil for her."

More tears pricked her eyes until they threatened to fall and she shoved Tenner's side, "Now you're making me cry."

He laughed, "That's what brothers are for."

She laughed, too, "You know, Papa didn't have to take me in. He could've let...I don't, maybe Leliana raise me?" His eyes bugged out, "I'd be a top spy in her army right now."

"You'd be terrifying!" He shook his head. "She would've raised you to be as hard as she is, unfeeling."

"Leliana has feelings."

"She does, somewhere, but she pushes them so far behind."

"Someone has to make the scary decisions for the Divine."

He nodded, "Leliana can definitely do it." They chuckled and hurried after the group. As they caught up, however, his words were still on her mind. Solas had stopped tearing down the Veil to hold her mother as she died. Was it possible he'd loved her as much as she'd clearly loved him. Ethylia liked to think he had when she was little, but as she grew older, she couldn't puzzle out why he'd leave someone he loved, why he'd destroy the world they loved and fought for. Yet he'd stopped everything for her.

 _Never believe them, Ethylia, okay? Solas isn't a bad man._ Her mother's words rang in her ears again and she wondered if she'd ever get the chance to know why.


	10. Your Feet Led You Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethylia takes an interest in Zathrael

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You'll note once again that I take liberties with the elvhen language and make it a bit my own. I try to use something that sounds like it would be from Dragon Age, but there isn't enough elvhen written down anywhere with translation to have all the phrases I would want to use, thus I create a bit of my own. Hope you don't mind :)
> 
> Also, I use a bit of flirting that resembles that of the games as a sort of nod to the creators. And a nod to ma vhenan, Solas.

"So why is an elf out here all alone?" Mirah asked Zathrael as they all sat about the fire. Day two had found them closer to their destination, and only one other darkspawn since that morning when they found him hiding under the rocks. 

"Just a traveler, I go where my feet take me."

"Your feet led you wrong." Tenner spoke up and they laughed.

"Indeed. It was not my plan to get cornered up here."

"I thought everyone knew about the Blight here."

He shook his head, "I am on my own a lot, rarely coming across anyone else. When I find a city or a village, I don't usually stay long."

"So you just wander aimlessly, seeing no one? Seems lonely." Mirah perched her chin on her hands, her elbows on her knees. 

"It can be." He said softly. He looked almost like he wanted to say more but then Nyxon was leaning forward, pulling a pot off the flames, the stew they'd drawn up was boiling. He ladled a hefty amount into a bowl he carried with him and replaced the pot next to the fire.

Suddenly everyone was vying for a bit, Tenner wrestled Zeke a moment for the ladle before giving up and letting him have his turn. Mirah simply dipped her bowl in and scooped some out. Ethylia watched silently and didn't move. It wasn't until everyone had their share that she noted neither had Zathrael moved.

"Do you have a bowl?"

"I'm afraid I lost mine."

"You lose a lot of things." She commented.

"I was being chased," he countered.

"Come on, we might be able to find a spare on one of the horse's saddle bags." She pushed to her feet. He followed at an easy pace and they walked to where the horses stood near the stream. Nyxon had hobbled them up for the night. She stopped at the first one and started rummaging through the bags and he followed suit, taking one of the other two horses. 

"You seem quiet. You have a lot on your mind?"

She smiled lightly, "There's a lot to think on."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure." She said slowly. It was an open ended question that made her a little uncertain.

He chuckled as if he sensed her apprehension. "Considering your people almost took my head off, I assume you're out here looking for an elf? Is he some sort of criminal?"

"I'm not supposed to say."

"Your group almost attacked me at the sight of my pointed ears. It wasn't until you assured them I wasn't 'him' that they backed down. Seems a might jumpy. Clearly I have rotten luck, darkspawn, on the same mountain as a criminal that's scary enough to get a Grey Warden flinchy." 

"He's not a criminal." She wasn't sure why she bothered to defend Solas. Sure, he wasn't being convicted of any actual crimes because he'd yet to commit them, he was just trying to commit mass murder. 

"I don't believe you, but I understand. I respect that you respect your orders. You seem like a good soldier."

"I'm a scout."

"What's a scout doing out here leading a squad?" She frowned and looked up at him as she switched to the third horse. He did the same, standing on the other side, flashing her a cheeky grin as he rummaged through the saddle bags. "I'm prying too much."

"I told you that you could ask, I didn't promise answers."

"There's no bowl or cup in here."

"There's not one here either, but I did find this." She held up a mound of food. 

"Good deal." He smiled and they walked away from the horses.

"We can share—" she tripped and had to catch herself before she hit the ground and felt Zathrael's hand on her arm, steadying her. "What did I trip on?"

"Sweet Elgar'nan," he bent over, leaving her for a minute. Her skin burned where he'd touched her in a way that warmed her heart. "It's my quiver, and look, two more arrows!" He held it up proudly.

"It nearly killed me."

He scoffed and smiled as he slung it over his back. "And I'll kill more darkspawn with five arrows instead of three." As they reached the fire, Nyxon had already settled down for sleep, his back to the flames. Zeke and Fuire were arguing lightly in a way only brothers did while Tenner and Mirah still ate, chatting quietly. 

"Any luck?" Tenner asked.

"Yes and no?" Zathrael held up his quiver, "I found my quiver but no spare bowl."

"Here, use mine." Tenner tipped his back and finished off what was in his bowl before passing it over.

"Appreciate that."

"You never share with me." Ethylia grumbled at him good naturedly. 

"That's because I hate you."

She stuck her tongue out at him and he tossed a tiny rock at her. She smirked and ladled out some stew into her own wooden bowl. This little bowl had been with her since the start of her scouting career. She'd learned to always keep a canteen, a bowl, and a spare dagger.

She caught a sideways glance from Zathrael and laughed because she knew what was on his mind. "Before you ask about our familiarity with each other, that pig sty is my brother."

"Pig sty?!" He demanded and made a rude gesture.

"When we get back, I'm going to tell Papa that you were insubordinate." 

He coughed and sputtered, "Wait a second, don't tell him that!"

"Ha!" Zeke suddenly laughed, "that quit working with this asshole when we were twelve. If only I had it that easy."

"You're siblings?" Zathrael was looking at her but Zeke answered.

"Unfortunately I'm his big brother which means I get to babysit his ass."

"You're older by two minutes." 

"Wait, you're twins?" Mirah perked up.

"Yes." Fuire said, "And lucky for me I look nothing like his ugly mug."

"And you two?" Zathrael was clearly still interested in learning more about her. "I thought you were full..." he drifted off.

"It's okay," she said, "half elf. We share our father."

He looked perplexed by that, "You're half human."

"Is there something wrong with that?" She demanded, probably too roughly. Too many held it over her head like it was a bad thing. What was worse was she wasn't half human, it was just her cover story, but it wouldn't ever make a difference with some of the humans. 

As it were, Zathrael didn't answer her as he finished off his food and passed the bowl back to Tenner. "Thank you." He avoided her gaze and she sighed. Things never changed. Some elves didn't accept her because they thought she was half human, some humans didn't accept her because they thought she was half elf. Her cover story didn't always make a beneficial environment for her, and when that mattered little, they seemed offended that she was a motherless child. She couldn't win for losing. 

She didn't say a word as she settled down for sleep. 

 

. . . .

 

She was halfway up the rocky incline when she noticed a smattering of old, dried blood and a bowl and couple arrows next to it. "Zathrael?" She lifted them, "I believe this might be yours."

"Please tell me you found the damn necklace." He scrambled up the rocks to reach her and she proffered the bowl and arrows. He scowled and accepted them, examining some of the arrows. "This one is useless." He tossed it aside.

"There's blood here, were you injured?"

"It's not mine."

"Strange. How far did the darkspawn chase you?"

"I didn't run into any darkspawn here. I was just rushing trying to stay ahead of them at this point of my journey."

"You're blocking the path, Knifey." 

She felt her spine stiffen and she tightened her hold on the edge of the rock she was about to climb up to get to the straighter, smoother path. "I have a name." She didn't turn to look at Fuire but she knew he was behind her, clambering up the path behind her. Mirah and Tenner were taking the long way around, walking the horses. Nyxon had thought it'd be a good idea to clear out any darkspawn before they got the horses up here, hence why they were climbing up right here. Their warden had already reached the top and disappeared from sight.

"Yeah, and I can't pronounce it. So Knifey works."

She was tempted to kick her foot back into his face. She'd get in trouble for that. Warden Nyxon had already made it clear he didn't appreciate insults or infighting and she didn't think he'd side with her if she kicked Fuire in the face. So instead she hauled herself up the incline, and then let go. She slid back sharply and right into Fuire and he shouted before his knees gave out and they fell backwards together. She rolled off of him smoothly, but it wasn't exactly an elegant fall.

Immediately he started cursing her with every name under the sun as Zathrael wheeled back for them. Nyxon was already at the top, looking back at them quizzically. She dusted off her hands and glanced at Fuire as Zathrael knelt down near her.

"You did that on purpose!"

"I fell on purpose?" She scowled and gave him a look of disbelief.

"Nyxon?!"

Nyxon looked unamused. He studied her a minute but ultimately said, "I saw nothing except the pair of you on the ground. Quit playing around and get up here." He walked away again and Zeke helped Fuire climb to his feet.

"Are you okay?" Zathrael asked, but by the hint of a smirk at the edge of his lips, he knew exactly what she'd done.

"I'm fine, I had a cushioned impact." She grinned and he grinned back.

"I have to admit, that was kind of clever."

"Kind of." She rolled her eyes.

He helped her to her feet as Fuire and Zeke left them behind. She started back for the rise of rocks when Zathrael's hand snaked around her arm. "I'm sorry." He said, voice low.

She frowned, "For what?"

"Last night. I know it upset you when I didn't answer you. I was caught off guard but I shouldn't have been. This world is...full of people of different varieties."

"People of different varieties?"

He brushed past her comment, "I just meant no offense." He walked to the rocks and started up them, partially up the steep steps before he reached back for her. "Shall I help you up?"

She smiled up at him, "It'd be a shame if I fell again."

He chuckled darkly, "You're far too graceful for that."

"You think I'm graceful?" She asked as she set her hand in his. He hauled her up with surprising ease, pulling her right up against him.

" _Na verina._ " He said quietly as he looked into her eyes.

She sucked in a sharp breath, feeling the warmth of his body against hers. "What does that mean?"

"It is truth." There was a twinkle in his eye as he let her go and made the next ascent to the top of the path. She drew her lower lip into her mouth, biting it as she stood there for a long minute before she climbed up after him. He was waiting with a smug look on his face that she ignored as she walked by, surveying the trail.

"The terrain is getting rougher, soon we may have to leave the horses behind."

He took the change in topic in stride, "We found my quiver, my bowl, hopefully the necklace soon."

He walked past her smoothly, his gait had an elegance to it that almost fit some of the nobles back in Ferelden, men and women who weren't quite as pompous as the Orlesian nobles, who were unafraid of work. 

Tenner and Mirah were catching up with the horses, Nyxon and the other warriors had gone on ahead. She watched Zathrael, considering his words, not just the flirting. It wasn't like she wasn't used to people throwing it in her face, but his apology for last night softened the blow greatly, mostly because, she realized, no one had ever apologized to her for it. 

She actually might be sad to see him go once he found his necklace.


	11. Lavellan: He Changed Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another flashback chapter of Solavellan :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPDATE: 4/25/18, I added another Lavellan chapter (Chapter 5) for my flashbacks. Sorry if adding a new chapter messed anyone's reading up, I thought it would be better to have a flashback scene sooner than just now at chapter 11. Sorry guys, hope you still love me 

LAVELLAN  
“To the Inquisitor!” A loud roar filled the room as The Iron Bull lifted his drink high and a shout followed it up. Lavellan laughed lightly but she needed to get out of here before she made a fool of herself.  
“Bull,” she grabbed his arm, “Bull, I’m going to head up.”  
“Aww, but we haven’t finished the casks yet!”  
“You can’t leave yet!” Sera gasped.  
She patted Bull’s arm and almost hit the floor, righting herself and hoping no one saw. She could feel the flush on her skin, burning to the touch, keeping her limbs loose and flowy like water. Like water? She shook her head, yeah, it was far past time for her to go.  
“Goodbye.” She smiled and hurried for the door. She tripped and Krem caught her, laughing as he straightened her up.  
“Staying on your feet, Inquisitor?”  
“Hardly.” She laughed and bypassed him to the door. Outside the night air touched her face, cool and crisp, sobering her just a bit. She was glad she’d let The Iron Bull talk her into a few drinks, which had accidentally turned into a few more. She’d been so stressed out preparing for the upcoming ball at the Winter Palace that her nerves were fried.  
“Lavellan,” she blinked and turned her head as she swayed back and forth towards the stairs. Solas was sitting on them, a cup in his hand.  
“Solas?” She smiled. He stood up with controlled elegance and held out his hand and she narrowed her eyes. “Were you waiting on me?”  
“I was.” He smiled back. “Do you think I would let you walk up these stairs by yourself in this state?”  
“I’m not sober. I mean drunk!”  
He cocked an eyebrow, “For some reason I am led to believe otherwise.”  
She giggled and practically fell into his arms and he caught her, spilling some of his drink on her. “Okay, perhaps just a little.”  
“Just a lot.” He corrected and pulled her closer. “Let me see you safely to your quarters.”  
“You can see me anytime you want.” She touched his chin, pushing with her index finger. His brow crinkled as he started up the steps with her pulled firmly into his side.  
“I wonder if it wouldn’t be wiser for me to stay, just in case?”  
“I have plenty of room in my bed.”  
He shook his head, “I did not mean like that, ma vhenan. I mean to stay awake, to make sure you rest easy.”  
“Oh, we can stay awake, mwah mhenan.”  
“Ma vhenan.” He corrected with a light laugh as they reached the top of the stairway. They entered the Great Hall and she spotted Varric working over a shuffled stack of papers at the table.  
“Varric!” She called and Solas shushed her so she glared at him.  
“Let’s try not to wake the whole of Skyhold.”  
“Having a good time, Inquisitor?” Varric smiled up at them.  
“Oh I will be, once I get this guy undressed.” She wavered and Solas stopped walking, looking far down the long hall and then at the door just on the other side of Varric.  
“Maybe another set of stairs would be unwise.” He commented and changed direction. “You can sleep on my couch tonight, I’ll be up anyways. There are some papers I wish to review.”  
“You’ll be up with me.”  
“Good night, Master Tethras.” Solas dipped his head to him.  
“Good night.” Varric had a grin on his face that looked like he was hiding a secret. Lavellan wobbled into the rotunda with Solas guiding her, taking her straight to the sofa that was pushed against the wall. He sat her down on it and she reached to kiss him immediately but he pulled out of her reach.  
“I was serious, Lavellan, I do not wish to lie with you under these circumstances.”  
“But I—”  
“Shh,” the air flowed out of his voice gently, soothingly, and he leaned her back on the sofa. “Shh…” his lips brushed her hair, hovering for just a moment before he knelt down in front of her. Her heartbeat rushed through her and she watched him as his hands touched her leg. She swallowed, waiting in agony for him to do something, anything.  
He methodically untied the strings of her boots and slid one off slow and easy, his hand massaging her calf lightly before he switched to the other. Her mouth went dry and she sat up a little straighter. His gaze burned with an intensity she’d yet to see anyone match, but this time the intensity was for her and her alone.  
He lifted his eyes to hers, his hands stopping on her knee and she could feel his touch all the way to her soul. “Don’t stop.” She whispered and light smile teased at the edges of his lips.  
Just as meticulous as a moment ago, he removed her second shoe, his hands sliding down her leg, working the muscles lightly and she relaxed, bit by bit. When he set her foot down, he stood up and sat down next to her, pulling her into his arms.  
“Let me hold you until you fall asleep.” He murmured and she laid her head on his shoulder. She wanted so much more of him than that, but she was already drifting.  
“You’re sneaky.”  
“How so?” He was smiling down at her.  
“You did that so I’d relax and pass out.”  
“You have been drinking quite a bit this evening.”  
“That’s not a disagreement.”  
“No,” he chuckled lighty, “it’s not.” He kissed her hair as she drifted off to sleep. 

 

Ethylia glanced up to see the first rays of sunlight lightening the sky. She’d been on watch duty for half the night, reading lightly through the journal. Nothing had disturbed the air. Everything had been quiet. She wanted to read more, but their little group would be waking soon.  
She closed it and tucked it into her pocket, thinking about the stories she’d read. She wondered how Solas had viewed her mother. She wanted to believe he’d loved her as much as her mother loved him, but he’d left. Her mother hadn’t deserved that.  
She’d been left alone, no father for her child, no way to contact him. When she’d really needed him the most, he hadn’t been there. She’d heard Thom tell stories of her mother up late crying for a man that never came back. Instead she’d gone to him, she’d gone to stop him from his plan when all else had failed.  
Ethylia couldn’t even grasp the kind of strength that took. To stand against someone you loved because you knew it was the right thing to do. It must’ve broken her heart, far more than she let anyone know. Even in the pages of the journal, she could sense her mother’s grief, but she doubted she had the full effect of it. No one could really understand what they’d had between them, or how much he’d meant to her.  
“For you, I’ll try to keep him alive.” She whispered. She’d never wanted her to believe the worst of Solas, but Ethylia was torn. He’d killed her. He’d taken her life in more ways than one.  
She pulled the journal back out and flipped to the very last page, her mother’s final words. “He changed everything, but so did you. In a different time, I might have gone with Solas to complete his mission—I loved him that much—but I could never let him destroy a world that gave our child life. Without this world, you wouldn’t exist, and I love you too much to risk everything, to risk you dying. My only hope is that he doesn’t take this as a betrayal of his love, but I don’t think he will. Solas always accepted that I had to try and protect the world. I don’t know what breaks my heart more, leaving you to go stop him, or betraying him. I love you, Ethylia, and I wish you could’ve had the chance to know your father the way I did, when he was simply Solas, elven apostate helping me save the world. I guess this book will have to do. It’s all I have left to give you, a piece of me and what memories I have. Be strong and always remember that I love you. I wish I had more time.”  
She sighed and wiped at the tears that had suddenly gathered in her eyes. She’d read that a million times, but somehow it meant more now. Everything had changed. Everything.


	12. Scouting Ahead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethylia travels ahead by herself to make sure the path is clear of darkspawn and meets someone in an unexpected way.

"We're going to have to leave the horses. The terrain is getting too rough now." Nyxon told her. He'd already slowed to a halt, shielding his eyes from the sun as he looked farther up the rocky path.

"I was thinking the same. It was bad eough the horses were actually starting to slow them down instead of speeding them up.

"Here."

"Here?"

He held his arms out, "It's fairly open, they should be able to find their way back down easily enough and the river isn't far. Instinct will take them to it."

She nodded and looked towards the others. They had the horses in a line, one tied to the other so a single person could lead them all forward. Zeke was at the helm at the moment and he was the first to turn back and start gathering supplies they needed off the horses' backs.

"You should scout ahead again." Nyxon said quietly. They tried to stay together as much as possible, but after running into some darkspawn unexpectedly, he kept sending her forward. She didn't mind being utilized for scouting, it was what she did best, and she loved it. She'd already dispatched several darkspawn to clear their path and was also able to warn them about a group up ahead. "The trail splits here." He motioned ahead and she spotted the cutoff.

She knew where she was. It was her job to know the area and she'd already investigated the cut off path last time she took this road. The left side took you up higher, faster, but on a rougher road. The right stayed nearer to the river, and would eventually take them to the Mountain Pass. 

"Both paths cross eventually, but we need the right hand side." She indicated, "There's a bit of a gorge ahead, a narrow path against some rocks and a steep drop. You'll want to be careful. I'll wait for you on the other side of it. By the time you catch up, it should be time to make camp, it'll be a good place for it."

"Go." He nodded with satisfaction and she started ahead of the group, leaving them behind as they released the horses. 

 

 

Ethylia crept along the path quietly, glancing ahead of her as she set her feet carefully down on the rock. There was no shrubbery left here, no sand, just a cold chill in the air and stone under toe. The place she'd told Nyxon to meet her at was just ahead, but there were several darkspawn on it. 

It was a group she could manage if she was careful about it. The key was not to be seen as she crept up on them. She was fully engaged, watching as she planted each foot quietly before moving forward again.

This was her idea of a small group. Four darkspawn and none of them knew she was here. Yet. This place was a death trap waiting to happen, there was nowhere to go except forward or backwards. Anymore darkspawn and she'd have had to go back for the others to help her fight them. 

Brushing against her left arm was a wall of rock, it led up towards the other path which should have diverged farther into the mountain by now. An expanse of flat ground led off to her right and eventually it just stopped. Nothing but empty space and the gorge far below. Ahead was the narrow path. The ground gave way until there was nothing left but a strip of land that led across the gorge. Horses couldn't cross it, not that they could climb this far up the mountain, and if you slipped you were going straight down the gorge.

All she had to do now was sneak across that skinny stretch of land and start killing...Ethylia felt her eyes go wide as something caught her eye, a massive form lumbering around the edge of a boulder on the other side of the gorge. "Fuck me." She whispered and took a half step back. Bless the commanders for sending a warden with her, she didn't know how to kill _that._

Ethylia moved backwards, just as cautiously as she'd been easing forward, but this time her heart was pounding. There was a bloody ogre with the other darkspawn. They were bigger, harder to kill, and she'd never even seen one in person. She'd seen depictions of great battles, paintings of Ostegar, they had ogres drawn out, but she'd never actually seen one and it was massive.

The path curved not far behind her, once she got around the corner, she'd be concealed and could move freely down the trail to find the others. She needed a warden for this job. One scratch from those beasts and she would be infected with the taint, but the ogre? It'd crush her with one hand.

A skittering of rocks drew her attention, her ears keying in on the sound a half second before something brushed against her. Ethylia leapt but arms encircled her, a hand cupping around her mouth and an iron grip pulling her against a slender body.

"Shh," she didn't recognize the voice, but there was a sense of relief to hear that the voice was human and not a darkspawn shrieking in her ear. She squirmed lightly but he didn't let go, "Shh, there's more behind us."

She frowned, that was impossible, she'd just come from that direction, there were no other paths. She tried to get loose again but he tightened his hold and held still, waiting. The ogre across the gorge intermingled with the others, her heart pounded, and then whoever held her took a half step back, pulling her with him. She could fight, but she didn't want to risk drawing the attention of the darkspawn, so she let him ease backwards against a small conclave of rock and then he whispered for her to be silent as he released her and turned.

Ethylia wiped her mouth and twisted to glare at the man that had startled her. There was no reason for him to hold her like that, and there was no reason he should be here. She'd been up the path, there was no one behind her but her own people!

However, as she turned around, she froze, there were three darkspawn ambling up the path. She felt like her heart dropped out her chest and her stomach flipped. How in the Maker...? Then the man moved again, leaning back, pressing her back behind him and she caught sight of him. She wouldn't have been more shocked if he had been a ghoul coming up behind her.

_It's him._ Yet instinct kept her from moving as her skull threatened to implode. Long, elven ears curved out behind him into a fair point. His jawline was strangely parallel to the curve of his elongated ears. No hair peppered the top of his head and while she couldn't see his face fully, she knew him. From the brief moment in the vision with Morrigan, she knew his face, and the strangeness that filled her over him being this close.

She didn't know what she'd planned to do when she saw Solas, other than somehow forcing him to drink Morrigan's potion, but standing with her back against a small conclave as darkspawn came creeping by wasn't how she'd envisioned this going. If she moved to attack him, they were fucked. The darkspawn would see, their noises would draw the ones across the gorge, including the ogre.

She had to remind herself to breathe as Solas leaned back against her, pushing them both into the smallest shelter of rock there could be. Seriously, if the darkspawn just sneezed in this direction, she and Solas were dead.

They watched in silence as the three ambled past and away, making lo noises as they crossed the narrow path by the gorge and mingled with the others. As they gained distance, she tilted her head to look at Solas again and he tilted his head her way, as if he knew she was studying him.

"There were no darkspawn behind me."

He pointed upwards, "There's a rocky path above, they fell off of it following me down."

She frowned and she should've been more focused on the more serious questions and problems at hand, like the fact that this elf was the damn Dread Wolf, but instead she found the words rolling out of her mouth, "Following you? From up there?"

"Shh, there's more."

"We need to leave this area before we get caught." _We?_ She needed to feed him Morrigan's potion. She also had to think realistically here. They couldn't put the Dread Wolf into a deep sleep right here in the middle of darkspawn. Was it even safe to venture to wherever he'd been entombed beforehand? Not to mention she couldn't carry him, especially through darkspawn territory, not alone. 

For a man that had been sleeping for twenty years, he looked surprisingly fit and alert. He hadn't quite looked at her full on yet, he was staying focused, watching. "We can't go up the path,"

"Yeah, that would be why I was backing away when you bumped into me."

"I don't know how many are farther down, but we can try to move past them."

She was opening her mouth to agree when something that sounded suspiciously like an explosion resounded through the mountains around them. It echoed through the chasms and made her flinch, "That was further down." She whispered right before a roar fired through the air.

A chill went up her spine and she turned her head slowly at the same time Solas did. Her insides were curling inside her, begging her to curl into the fetal position and hide, but there was no hiding here as the ogre was staring directly at them. It let loose another roar and the other darkspawn charged.

"Run!" She shoved at Solas's back and he stumbled forward, but as he moved into the open, he faced the ogre head on and cast out his hand. Magic burst from his hand and she saw it seep into the ground before he turned and grabbed her arm, fleeing. She looked back as the beast stepped onto the spot where the magic had laid into the ground and it burst out, sending the ogre up in flames. It wasn't enough to kill it.

He pushed her ahead of him and turned back once more and she kept running as he shot back a burst of green energy that shattered in the monster's face. She couldn't keep looking back while she ran, so she focused ahead of her and was just rounding the corner when she drew up short, sliding on gravelly rocks.

She scrambled to keep her balance and move backwards, nearly falling until her back collided with Solas again. She heard his sharp intake of breath as more than a dozen darkspawn came hobbling around the corner, snarling and hissing at them. One glance back and the ogre was back on it's feet, preparing to charge them again and she could feel death nipping at her heels.

It charged them first and Ethylia felt her eyes go wide, there was nowhere to go, nowhere to run. She yanked out her daggers and looked back at the elf, "Do something!"

"I'm out of mana." He gasped. Neither did he have a staff to channel any magical energy at the beast or darkspawn.

"Roll!" She pushed his shoulder in the direction she wanted him to go and he moved just as the ogre reached them. She dove left, away from Solas, and flanked the ogre. She would fight until she was dead if she had to. 

A couple of slashes to the side only seemed to anger the beast and it wheeled, swinging it's large, clawed hands at her and she ducked and spotted a darkspawn closing in on her back. She tossed a throwing knife between it's eyes and ducked another blow from the ogre as a burst of flame fell across it's horns.

Solas. 

She kept fighting, dodging another and when he could, Solas shot fire and veil magic at it. They circled it and she cast throwing knives at the darkspawn as they neared, picking her blades back up as she circled the ogre, slashing, dodging, and swiping at it. For a moment if felt like they could go on like this forever, circling the beast until it went down, but there were too many smaller shrieks and ghouls closing in.

Throwing herself out of the way of the ogre put her in the way of a darkspawn. It lifted it's arms to attack, a blade in it's hands and she shoved her dagger into it's throat only to feel something heavy sweep against her. The breath rushed out of her and she felt her body lift, a strange sensation of the world slowing as she watched the ground get further away, a moment in the air where she saw everything clearly. Solas was backed against the gorge, nowhere to run, darkspawn were closing in from every direction, but she saw them, her companions.

Nyxon was leading the others with a battle cry that drew the darkspawn's attention, rounding the corner. Tenner was blowing his horn, announcing their presence to the monsters. Then she hit the rocks and her body rolled towards the gorge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I did a good job with this chapter. I rewrote quite a few bits of explaining the cliffs, rocky walls, and the gorge, and Ethylia's first look at Solas. Feedback is appreciated! I hope I made the picture clear enough :)


	13. Ir'Abelas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethylia and her companions have finally found Solas, but first they have to fight the darkspawn horde.

Ethylia gasped as she almost pitched over the edge, one arm hanging over. She could see straight down into the pit, so far below that she couldn't even tell what was down there, but she sure as hell didn't want to find out. She attempted to slide backwards, away from the dangerous cliff when something stepped on her and she jerked, trying to get away. She couldn't crawl away, there was no room for it. She tried to flip, the darkspawn shriek on her leg lifting its sword to kill her. She flung a dagger, the blade landing true, but the moment the bastard died on it's feet, its sword dropped.

She shrieked and rolled, the sword tip bouncing off the rock, half an inch from implanting in her chest as it fell. She crawled away, along the edge of the gorge and felt arms lift and looked up into Solas's steel blue eyes.

It was the first time she'd gotten to truly look him in the eye, right in the face, and something in his expression looked stricken. She saw his eyes widen just a hint before a darkspawn rushed them and she wheeled, skillfully twisting its blade from its grasp before burying her dagger in its eye.

"Ethylia!" She heard the loud shout and turned, looking for the source and spotted Zathrael and Mirah above them on an outcropping of rocks. Mirah had her hands around the arrow on his bow, magical light blinding and Zathrael called again, "Get down!"

She grabbed Solas's arm and drug him down. The moment Mirah's hands pulled away, Zathrael fired. She didn't know what was going to happen, but as the arrow catapaulted forward, it landed right in the ogre's mouth, a truly impressive shot, that quickly exploded.

Ethylia ducked and hid her head as blinding light filled the air. Darkspawn screamed and hot, wet blood streaked across her back. "Sweet Maker," she lifted her head. The ogre was in pieces, a black spot on the ground where it'd been standing seconds before. She blinked several times, just as startled as the darkspawn around them.

Then they moved. They went back into the charge and she scrambled back to her feet. She was on the edge of the gorge, just her and Solas, when Zeke charged through the center of the bastards, shield up, moving like a bull until he reached them, leaving a scattered trail of darkspawn in his wake.

He turned, standing with them as Fuire was tearing down the house. It was that moment that she realized why Cullen insisted on the pair of them coming with her. Sure, they'd had a few bar brawls that usually got split up before anyone could really get hurt. This was different. This was their full potential on full display, ripping and tearing and fighting their way through a horde of darkspawn.

"Go, move!" Solas was at her back again, pushing and pointing at a clear path towards the others. "Away from the cliff." She didn't argue his logic at all, sprinting towards Nyxon. They were halfway there when a darkspawn clambered into her path but an arrow quickly put it down. She'd have to remember to thank Zathrael later if she survived this.

Then several more closed in around them and she twisted to fight. She struck swift and hard, leaving no mercy for beasts that hardly deserved it. Their sole purpose was to kill. Next to her, he kept fighting, too, showering magical energy down on them, taking breaks when he needed to recharge. 

More cut them off from the others and she wondered if running for the group had been a poor choice because now they had darkspawn on all sides. Before she got the chance to fear for her own life, she heard a call and turned just as Fuire tossed something her way. She caught it, flinching as part of it cut into her flesh and then he yanked her forward and she surged through the crowd of darkspawn and right into Fuire's arms.

She blinked with surprise. "It's called a grappling hook." He scowled at her. "Usually I have my sword waiting for whatever urchin I pull to me." He pushed her away. "Don't think it didn't cross my mind." He shouted again and tossed the hook and chain and Solas caught it, letting Fuire pull him into the group.

He pushed Solas away even quicker before calling out to Zeke who was charging through the center again, a grin plastered across his face like he was having the time of his life. "Ethylia," Nyxon grabbed her shoulder, "we're retreating to the rocks there, Mirah and Zathrael are going to do the explosion again, but on the ground."

She nodded and moved back with him, fighting the approaching darkspawn. Solas stayed with them, not that there was anywhere to run, and Tenner fell in next to her, swiping back creature after creature until they all had their backs against the rocks and Zathrael shouted from above them.

"Keep your heads down!" He warned and she couldn't see him but she knew Mirah's hands were working a spell into the arrows and then he fired. She saw the arrow zip by her as she fought against the darkspawn, and then that blinding light erupted.

She ducked and turned, pressing into the rocks, but this explosion was twice as thunderous, shaking the ground under her and she feared they were all going to go tumbling down the gorge. As it was, when she opened her eyes, much of the earth had fractured and was crumbling away into the gorge, taking darkspawn with it.

When the earth ceased to shake and crumble, the ones that remained were few and far between and they quickly succeeded in killing or pushing the rest of them off the cliff. As the last one tumbled and fell into the gorge, Ethylia wanted to hit her knees. She was heaving for breath, grateful to the others for having great timing in showing up, grateful to Zathrael for his epic shooting and Mirah for her magic.

"Whew." Zeke was the first to speak and the moment he did, Tenner turned to her and yanked her into his arms.

"I thought you were dead that time." His hand cupped the back of her head, accidentally prying some of her hair from her scalp.

"Ow!" She complained.

"Sweet Maker, were you hurt?" He shoved roughly, holding her at arms length with alarm rising in his eyes.

"No, you were pulling my hair."

He scowled darkly, but she could see just a bit of relief in his eyes before he wrapped around her again and this time she hugged him back without complaining. For a moment there she'd thought this was it for her, too. 

Then she caught sight of Nyxon over Tenner's shoulder. He was staring hard at their new arrival, and when Fuire started towards him, sword up, he stopped him silently and motioned to her. She patted her pocket and found the vial of potion from Morrigan still intact and gave a slight nod.

"Don't move." She whispered in Tenner's ear and slipped the potion out.

Nyxon took his eyes off her and back to Solas who was facing the fallen darkspawn and the gorge, still panting for breath. "Sir, we're a scouting party, getting everyone we can off the mountain. Are you hurt?"

Ethylia slipped Tenner's canteen off his belt, it was half full. She unplugged the cap while Nyxon kept Solas's attention. Morrigan had put three drops of Ethylia's own blood in it and promised that this potion would put him in his slumber again. She poured the contents into the canteen and replaced the vial in her pocket before turning to Nyxon and Solas. Everyone looked tense around her. Zeke was grinding his jaw, trying not to stare, Fuire was being awkwardly obvious in the intensity of his stare while Tenner watched her.

"I have not been hurt by the darkspawn." Solas replied calmly. He wasn't even panting for breath anymore.

Ethylia pretended to drink from the canteen as she moved closer to Solas, lowering it from her lips, "Thank you, if it wasn't for you I am not sure I could have gotten past the ogre once it charged us." She offered him the canteen. He looked at it and slowly reached for it, but he was watching her now and it made heat creep up her neck. Did he know? He couldn't know. "We can escort you down the mountain."

"I appreciate the gesture." He didn't drink. He just looked at her, studying her.

Fuck. Thinking fast, she said, "You can keep that canteen, we have spares."

"Finding many people up here with the darkspawn?"

"Just two." She replied and he held his hand out. She frowned for a moment until she realized she still had the cap and she passed it to him. He plugged the canteen without drinking and she glanced at Nyxon who was giving her a look that bade her to keep her cool.

"Hey guys," Zathrael and Mirah rounded the corner, "good news, I found my necklace and we can't see any darkspawn down the path from up..." he drifted off as he laid eyes on Solas and something in his stance shifted. For a brief moment, Ethylia swore she saw pure, unmistakable hatred, but then she blinked and it was gone. He looked perfectly calm. "Who's this?" He lowered his hand with his necklace in it, his eyes never leaving Solas.

"Another refugee." Nyxon said simply. "I'm not sure we should linger here, but traveling at night isn't safe." He looked skywards. He knew as well as she did that when Solas drank the potion, they would have to go higher up the mountain to where he was entombed and replace him there. Leaving the area wasn't ideal, even if there was plenty of daylight. 

"Can we sleep up there?" Tenner motioned towards the top of the rocks Zathrael and Mirah had fought from. "For safety purposes?"

"I think that's a good idea."

They stood there, no one moving, for a long moment and her heart was honestly trying to break out her chest. She felt nothing of what she thought she would upon seeing Solas. She'd expected anger, rage, heartbreak...instead she felt conflicted.

"Let's move then." Nyxon broke the silence and walked towards Zathrael and Mirah. "By the way, what's your name, friend?"

"I...I..." a tone of sadness crept into his voice and it startled her to hear that much grief coming from one being. She turned to see him as he said, "Ir'abelas." 

"That's a bit of a mouthful, do you have a nickname?"

"I have been called many things." That wasn't exactly an answer, but they marched on without another word and she was grateful when Tenner slid his hand around her arm and gave a comforting squeeze.


	14. Lavellan: Flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lavellan seeks comfort after a terrible loss

Ethylia was trying hard not to stare at Solas, a conflicting amount of emotion was rolling around inside of her like a mabari hound in a stack of leaves. Each leaf was a different emotion as it scattered around inside of her, only to settle in the pits of her stomach and sour. He’d just helped them fight darkspawn. She could try to dismiss it as the fact that he’d simply been saving his own life, except he’d grabbed her and silenced her before she bumped into them. He could’ve just as easily hidden and waited for the darkspawn to notice her so he could flee while they were distracted.

She hadn’t expected that. Despite her mother’s words, she’d always heard so many stories about him…she’d honestly struggled over whether to believe them or her mother. In the end, her mother had fought against Solas to save Thedas, Ethylia expected she’d have to do the same. She hadn’t expected she’d fight with him against darkspawn, or that he’d look out for her. It made her mother’s words feel all the more real. _He isn’t bad, Ethylia. Never believe them, okay?_

She didn’t know what to believe anymore. She’d somehow painted him as a villain in her own mind, as someone who needed to be stopped. Then he’d gone and fought alongside her and shown her a heart. She didn’t understand. Why would he want to destroy everything if he was so willing to protect it?

She might be playing with fire, but she risked pulling out the journal and flipping open the pages. It was too dark to read and they kept no fire so they wouldn’t alert the darkspawn, but by the moon’s dim light she skimmed some pages, hoping for some sort of clarity, something to help her understand what she felt inside right now. She didn’t really need the light to read the words, she already knew the story by heart anyways…

. . . .

Lavellan clung to Dorian’s shirt as she sobbed into his shoulder. This was too much, it was too hard. “I can’t do this anymore.” Her legs were pulled up to her chest but he managed to pull her into his lap anyways, cradling her, one hand in her hair as he stroked softly.

“I’m so sorry, Lavellan.” His lips murmured against her cheek. “I’m so sorry.”

Nothing he said would ever make the hurt go away. Her clan was gone. They’d been hunted and killed, some of them butchered, even the kids… And it was her fault. “I should have sent the troops. I should have sent more people, faster. I should—”

“Shh!” He pulled her closer, you can’t do that to yourself. You can’t blame yourself. You didn’t know. If any of us had even suspected the situation was that bad…”

She cried harder, the tears hot on her face, but not nearly as fierce as the pain inside her soul. It burned her up from the inside out, it tore apart every inch of her heart until not a single shredded bit remained. It bled profusely, creating the agony that welled up inside of her.

“Inquisitor?” She heard the voice but she couldn’t stop. She felt Dorian’s head turn as he looked towards Josephine and she caught just a small glimpse of her as she stood at the stairs, Cullen just behind her. “We’re so sorry.”

She’d nearly collapsed when they delivered the news, faces grave. She’d just stood there like a wall had fallen down inside of her, unable to speak, unable to convey the heartbreak those words brought to her. For a moment in time, she’d been numb to the core, and then the pain had fallen down on her head, hard, like a wave crashing against the shore with wicked fury.

Dorian craned his neck to see her and she buried her face deeper in his chest and he sighed, “Please go,” he told Josephine and Cullen gently. She was so thankful he knew what she wanted. She didn’t say anything as they quietly left and Dorian gathered her in his arms and moved to his favorite corner of the library. He leaned against the wall and slid down it with her in his arms until she was cradled against him again, farther out of sight of the rest of the world where she could cry in peace.

She was all too aware that her sobs echoed through the library, down to the rotunda, up towards Leliana. Maybe she should’ve run for her room instead of the library, but as her chest filled with grief, she’d needed comfort and run to Dorian.

She hadn’t cried like this in a long time. Possibly never. Even after Haven. She’d been devastated but she’d somehow held herself together but this was too much. Everything piled, one thing after another, it was too much.

“Vhenan?” 

She went still in Dorian’s arms as he looked up and said, “She doesn’t want to see anyone right now.”

“It’s okay.” Was that truly her own voice? She sounded old, defeated, as she slowly turned her head and met Solas’s eyes. Pain rippled through his expression and he started forward, falling to his knees beside her and Dorian as he cupped her cheek.

_“Ir abelas, ma vhenan.”_ Fresh tears rolled down her cheeks at his words and she was shaking as he pressed his forehead to hers. She could feel Dorian’s eyes on them. He’d caught them kissing a few times, but she doubted any of the Inquisition had seen Solas in such a tender moment, seen him baring his heart like this. It was why she was falling head over heels for him, because when they were together, he showed her his heart, his passion. So many took his passion for arrogance, but in truth it was a love for and thirst for knowledge, the desire to spread it to those around him. He would tell anyone willing to listen, if only they would ask. Few did.

Her sobs eased though she struggled to breathe and the tears continued. She had one hand wrapped around his wrist, not even sure when it got there, as he stroked her cheek gently. Her other hand was still fisted in Dorian’s shirt. She didn’t know how to let go, but as some people walked by, she could feel their eyes on them, drilling holes through her.

Why was the Inquisitor crying? She couldn’t afford to worry them. “Take me out of here? I don’t want anyone to see me like this.”

“Of course.” His hands slid under her arms and lifted her gently to her feet. Dorian rose, his hand on her shoulder.

“Will you be okay?”

“I’ll never be okay again.” She sniffled, “But thank you.” He watched grimly as Solas led her away, letting her bury her face under his arm. She didn’t complain when he walked her outside of Skyhold, out into the snowy terrain. There were a few travelers coming and going, but she kept her head down and they walked onwards, veering from the path until he found some rocks protruding from the white. He swept the snow and ice away with a few quick brushes of his hands before he pulled her up onto the rocks and they sat beside each other.

Then he just held her, looking out at the barren mountains that surrounded them. Behind them, Skyhold was a massive tower, an ominous reminder of who she was and that she had a duty to the people she’d agreed to lead. 

“Of all the people looking up to me for safety and guidance, they’re the ones I should have protected above all others. My clan…” she broke and closed her mouth.

“Dorian is right, you couldn’t have known. None of us did. It is a grave thing, to have so many lives taken without care or honor. It is senseless.”

“They didn’t deserve it.”

“No. Of course not.” He held her tighter. “I wish I could make it better, Vhenan.”

“You are.” She leaned into him, closing her eyes. She didn’t think it would ever quit hurting, but he did make her feel a little farther from the edge. 

“Tell me what to do, a distraction perhaps?”

“I don’t want to be distracted.”

“I understand, you wish to remember them, then?”

“Yes.”

He released her and sat up, a spark of magic in the air as whispered words rolled off his tongue. A short, simple spell that melted the snow away, revealing a tide of grass springing upwards and flowers rising taller by the second. Before her eyes, the petals blossomed into a full bloom, all under his command. Gentle greens and vibrant blues, dashes of red and the sweet serenity of a purple hue. 

“Flowers for those you lost, ma vhenan, may they find peace now.”

His kindness rocked her to the core, but as she stared out at the flowers, she realized there was a strange symmetry to them and only a single flower that was pink. “You’ve arranged these…in some sort of order?”

He turned his head and smiled down at her. “One flower for each of your people. The yellow represent the children, their brightness and innocence, the purple and blue are friends and family, the reds others of your clan, and the pink is your keeper.” Her heart felt like it seized in her chest and she started sobbing all over again. Solas looked startled, “I-I’m sorry, I thought it would help—”

“It’s perfect!” She cried into his shirt, “Thank you, Solas.”

“I did not mean to make you cry more,”

“It’s okay,” she clutched him to her. “It’s beautiful.”

He laid his head on hers and she never wanted to let him go.


	15. You Cannot Trick a Trickster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oooo la la. A little flirting, a little fun, and a little confrontation.

When Zathrael left the group, Ethylia waited a few minutes before following. He'd crept off the rocks to relieve himself away from them. She gave him the time she hoped he needed before following, waiting at the base of the rocks for him. Night had fallen at least an hour ago, but everyone seemed too tense to sleep. They were waiting for Solas to drink, but he hadn't.

They'd even eaten a small meal of bread and he'd shared in their food, but he'd yet to drink. She didn't understand. Did he know or was he just not thirsty yet? Had he drank when none of them were looking? Did he have to drink it all for it to work?

Zathrael came creeping back steadily in the dark. He didn't seem surprised to see her at the base of the rocks as he moved in closer, pausing a few inches away, "Milady?"

"I wanted to ask you something." She said softly, keeping her voice low. There was a chill in the mountain air and they hadn't lit a fire so darkspawn wouldn't seek them out while they slept. She crossed her arms, pulling them in closer to her body to preserve her body heat.

"Anything." He encouraged her. She could just make out his necklace in the darkness. A crow's feather so black that it seemed to absorb the darkness around it and two perfectly round drakestones on a leather string. Simple, yet strangely beautiful.

"I wanted to ask you what Ir'abelas meant."

"You think I know?"

"You do, right?" 

He smiled and a breeze whipped past them and he shivered, moving a little closer. "I do," he hesitated and she wondered what was running through his mind before he said, "It's not much of a name, honestly, it's a phrase. The way he used it, it's not the common phrase, but it means I am sorrow, rather than I am sorry."

"Sorrow?" 

"No," he shook his head, "specifically, I am. There is a strong indication if he has added Ir to his name." That brought sadness to her heart but she quickly pushed it away, another cold breeze bringing her a little closer to him. When she said nothing, he whispered, "Is he the one you're after?"

"I'm-"

"Not supposed to say." He rolled his eyes. "I think that argument is moot at this point. I helped save your ass from darkspawn, one of them was an ogre. I'm with you, Ethylia."

"I can see that." She murmured as another chilly burst of wind brought him against her. "Any closer and you'd be right through me."

He smirked and averted his eyes, looking idly at her shoulder and she felt her heart skip a little. The warmth of his body mingled with hers, warming her up just a smidge. He had proved his worth already, and even if Solas drank, they would have to take his sleeping body back to his tomb. Zathrael could help them with that, he was a skilled archer.

"What I don't understand is why you're all letting him sit with you, I thought he was a criminal?"

She sighed and bowed her head, her forehead accidentally clipping his chin. He pulled back, smirking and she smiled before she told him, "There's an elixir in the canteen I gave him. He hasn't drank yet."

"Oh." His eyes went wide.

"His real name is Solas. It's better to subdue him without a fight. Make no mistake, he's more dangerous than any of us." Once he regathered his strength, his powers could be immeasurable. Her mother spoke in the journal of how he turned Qunari into stone with a flash of his eyes. She'd already seen him use magic without the use of a staff, and Thom had warned her he would gain his power back quickly because he'd only been asleep twenty years rather than thousands. 

Thinking of it, it made her heart speed up and fear gnawed at her. They couldn't let him go much longer like this. If he regained his full potential...

"Don't worry, I'll protect you." Zathrael murmured, his eyelashes fluttering.

She snorted, she hardly needed...it occurred to her that the twinkle in his eyes wasn't entirely humor. Ethylia bit her lip and felt her cheeks warming. The devilish flirt had her heart in a fizzle and her stomach dancing with butterflies. "You'll have to watch me closely. According to my father I'm always finding trouble."

"I don't need your father's opinion to figure that out."

"Hey!"

He chuckled lightly, "I found you cornered against a cliff by a bunch of darkspawn."

"And I survived. I found you hiding under a rock."

"Shh, let's not discuss that right now."

She laughed quietly and leaned into him, "Does it hurt your ego? Fine, what do you want to talk about?"

"Your lips." He murmured and pressed his to hers. Surprise flitted through her before she closed her eyes and leaned into him. When he pushed forward, she stepped back until she was against the rock. His lips formed to hers perfectly, his body molded to hers. He fit against her and she felt warmer, not because of their closeness, something deep inside of her heating and catching fire. 

He pulled away gently, panting for breath, a soft smile that spread all the way to his eyes. "I didn't expect that."

"You kissed me." She moved to kiss him again and he moved back a bit, pressing a finger to her mouth.

"We should get some sleep." He kissed her again, this time briefly, and then he turned and started climbing the rocks back up to join the others. She watched him go, admiring the view, even as she strained to see it in the night before she decided to find a spot away from them to relieve herself.

She ventured away from the rocks, staying alert but there was no darkspawn in sight. She found a spot far enough that she was certain she was out of sight, but before she could move, a hand slipped over her mouth. She gasped and jerked to run but they held tight. Confusion and alarm raced through her, she'd been alert, there was no one out here!

A hand tight on her arm turned her and pushed her into the nearest rock, hand still over her mouth and she felt her eyes widen as she looked into Solas's face. She wrapped both hands around his arm but stopped fighting, somewhere in her subconscious she knew she needed to stay calm. She went still and he eased his hand away from her lips. 

"What's the meaning of this?" Her voice shook but she kept it quiet.

He studied her for a long moment, searching her eyes before he leaned in, his voice low, "Who are you?"

"I told you my name-"

"That is not what I meant." He lowered his hands entirely, standing back.

She frowned at him, "I am not sure what you-"

"You take me for a fool, Ethylia?" He countered. He waved his hand in front of her face and a flame spout easily from his hand, hovering in the air. It glowed, all too bright in this darkspawn infested land.

"Turn that out."

"Are you afraid?"

"Of darkspawn swarming us, yes."

"You're afraid of me."

"I am not."

"Why?" He stepped closer and she couldn't answer him, a knot bunching up in her throat. What was worse, she could see herself in him, she'd noticed it earlier, noticed it before the darkspawn fight earlier. The perfect edge of his jaw...she had that same line, if not a little more feminine. His pointed nose was hers. The rest of her matched her mother, her eyes, her white blonde hair, the shape of her chin and cheeks and ears. 

She didn't know how to answer him, his intense gaze burning into her, prying her apart. It felt like he could see straight through her. It was obvious he knew she was lying, but to what extent?

She pushed him further away from her and squared her shoulders. "Go back to the rocks. We need sleep."

He snorted and turned away from her before he looked back, a strange look in his eyes. "You sound just like her."

She blinked at him, terror suddenly trembling through her. "W-w-what?"

"Did you think I wouldn't know you? The moment I heard you speak...you sound like her...the moment I saw your face..." he stepped closer and reached for her before he hesitated. Were those tears glimmering in his eyes? It was too dark to see. Then he drew back sharply, curling closer to himself, his arms pulling in to his chest, fists clenched. "I did this."

"Pardon?" She couldn't stay her wild heart, her mind was screaming.

"I didn't know she had a child." He whispered and looked towards the rocks where the others slept and rested. He took a deep breath as if to steady himself. "I am sorry. I should not be here. You should not be here. If you are here, I suspect you are here for one thing: me. That's why you tainted the canteen, yes?"

She frowned, "How did-"

"You cannot trick a trickster." He stated, tone darkening, and she realized with that one question she'd just given herself away, letting him know she had put something in the drink. "How long have I slept?"

She narrowed her eyes, curling her lip, trying to catch her mind up to what was going on. She needed to right her thoughts, this was going to get bad fast. Solas couldn't get away, but he was onto their plan, somehow. 

She didn't get the chance to speak though, when she saw movement behind Solas and he followed her gaze. Zathrael was behind him, bow up, arrow ready to loose. His eyes glinted hard in the dark and just over his shoulder, the others were hurrying forward as he said, "Step away from her."

"I do not wish to fight you." He folded his hands behind his back and Ethylia's mind burst with panic. He could turn people to stone.

"Zathrael," she jumped forward and Solas turned to her and she paused. He stared at her long and hard and she slowly turned her gaze back to Zathrael, "Put it down, please, he will destroy you." Nyxon was at the head of their squad, sword raised, but he didn't move closer. Zeke and Fuire had their weapons ready while Tenner stared at her anxiously and Mirah was braced with her staff up.

He curled his lip like he didn't believe her but Solas spoke, "Make your choice quick, darkspawn are on the move." He nodded his head and she spotted them coming from the direction of the gorge. 

He swiveled and started walking away and the light he'd had illuminating her face went out in a puff of smoke. Zathrael had his bow trained on him hard, glaring and Ethylia leapt forward, grabbing his arm, pulling it down. "We can't let him go." Zathrael said.

"Solas!" She called and he froze in his tracks, shoulders hunching. She hadn't expected him to stop at all. He moved slowly to face her again, brows knitted together with some mixture of guilt and sadness. 

"As I said, you sound just as she did. I never thought to hear that voice again." He closed his eyes and continued walking away. She started to take a step after him when she heard a noise behind them and turned. 

"It's a horde of them." Zathrael gasped as they looked towards the coming darkspawn.

"Too many and they've seen us, we can't stay here." She said quickly. Nyxon ran forward as Solas disappeared from sight. 

"What happened?"

"He cornered me," she said quickly, "he said he knew we put something in the canteen."

Fuire scowled, "He said you sounded like her, what was he talking about?"

_Shit._ "I don't know."

"We're going to talk about that lie later," Nyxon hissed, "right now we need to move." He looked back at the darkspawn and she felt Tenner's eyes. He was watching her. They weren't supposed to know who she was, none of them were, especially Solas. She'd been lying about it her whole life, you'd think she could hide it better, but she was rattled...

"Our supplies are still on the rocks." 

"No time, run!"

He sprang forward and a sudden shriek of pain ripped through the air. She flinched and whipped out her daggers instinctively as Nyxon crumbled to the ground, a flash of veil magic bursting up from the ground. She gasped and ran forward to help him and glared in the direction Solas had disappeared in. He'd set a trap! That bastard!

"What was that?" Fuire demanded as she stooped to help Nyxon.

"I'm alright," he heaved for breath, "get me up."

She knew better, he needed a minute to recover. "Solas. He set a trap."

"To buy time." Nyxon muttered, "If he wanted me dead I'm sure I would be." She heaved him to his feet with Tenner's help.

Behind them Zathrael shouted, "Heads up! We're out of time." He loosed an arrow into the horde and the darkspawn began charging.


	16. Don't Let Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethylia and company fight off the darkspawn while Solas escapes

The trail followed along the length of the gorge with rocks beside them, giving them no room to escape. They had no choice but to run forward and fight when the darkspawn caught up. It gave them little room to work with. Each step took her farther from the potion she was supposed to get Solas to drink.

They had nothing now. Not the potion, not their rations. Fuire didn't even have his armor on. He'd taken it off to rest more comfortably. If Solas hadn't lit that small fire to illuminate her face they may have been safe for the night as planned. Now?

They were fighting for their lives.

"Mirah!" Zathrael called in between shooting arrows. "Think we can do that trick again?"

"I need time!" She shouted back. 

"We'll try to buy you some. Mirah, Zathrael, move back. The rest of you, form a line!" Nyxon was back on his feet, but he lumbered a bit slower than previous fights, brandishing his sword skillfully against the darkspawn. He held his own, despite his run-in with Solas's magic. Zeke was bashing the darkspawn as they came, stepping closer to Nyxon to try and create a line. He was dangerously close to the edge of the gorge but he used it to his advantage, pushing them off with his shield when he could.

"Come on," Ethylia called encouragement to them and stepped up to help form the line, slashing at darkspawn as they drew closer.

Zathrael shouted as he moved backwards with Mirah, farther out of reach of the darkspawn, "I'll warn you before I shoot, make sure you get down or the blast will hit you!" 

"We'll be ready!" She called back as Tenner and Fuire fell in line beside her.

"Fight!" Nyxon encouraged, even as they were already fighting. They tried to create a line that the darkspawn couldn't cross, but a few got past, slowing Mirah and Zathrael down. She cursed and jumped to block another that tried to slither past, slashing it's side. It bellowed with rage and wheeled on her and she clocked it in the face with her fist and managed to dispatch it. Another was slipping past her and she turned to stop it when she saw Tenner go down.

"Tenner!" Her own voice sounded foreign to her as she screamed, panic rising and she lunged for him, beating back the darkspawn that was inches from killing him. She prayed she got it off of him before it killed him.

As she left her spot in the line, a surge of darkspawn clawed their way through and towards Mirah and Zathrael. She cursed and grabbed Tenner, yanking him back to his feet and scrambled to get back in place but it'd cost more time, now Zathrael and Mirah were fighting off more darkspawn instead of performing their spell.

"Look out!" She twisted back around right before Fuire shoved her away and ran his sword through the gut of one of the darkspawn and then kicked it, letting it slide off the end of his blade. It tumbled backwards and into the group attempting to push through the line, knocking them all back. "See? I can be useful." He held up his sword and started to move back to his place when Zathrael gave a warning cry.

She ducked and covered her head and didn't have time to see if the others did the same before the explosion rocked the world around them. She opened her eyes, the earth still shaking, the ground splitting. It took her a moment to realize that the rocky path was crumbling, falling away into the gorge in one massive rockslide.

"Run!" She gasped as it cracked open, the trail beginning to collapse. She grabbed Fuire and shoved him past her, Tenner sprinted away from the crumbling cliff. Nyxon was on the ground, a piece having given out under him, but he managed to crawl backwards, staying ahead of the collapse as the cracks spread out all around them. She felt her eyes go wide as her foot started giving way, her body sliding downwards.

"Go!" Zeke's hand grabbed hers and he yanked her farther away from the falling earth, the ground still shaking. She found a second's worth of footing, just enough to spring past him, but the ground still fell away and disappeared.

Ethylia screamed as she dropped, her free hand reaching for anything to hold onto and something snapped into it. She closed her hand around it and felt it slice open her skin but she didn't let go as her body swung and slammed into the side of the gorge. The earth was still crumbling, but slowly ceasing and she blinked, heaving for breath as Zeke clung to her other hand, his weight threatening to dislocate her arm. She could feel his fingers squeezed tightly around hers, causing her knuckles to ache with pain, but she held him just as tightly. 

She risked a peek down at him, his eyes wide as he hung from her hand over an abyss. His eyes met hers as he said, "Don't let go."

"I won't." She whispered, voice shaking. She lifted her head cautiously to see what she'd grabbed onto and spotted Fuire's grappling hook. The blades of it weren't ideal for grabbing, but she squeezed tighter. It was cutting right through her flesh, she wished she'd been able to grab the chain instead of the blade, but she was thankful to have a hold on anything, no matter how much it hurt. Already blood rolled down her arm from her hand, but she didn't dare let go or they'd plummet.

She licked her lips, terrified. It was silent above. "Fuire?"

"I've got you." He called from somewhere above her. He sounded like he was straining and she couldn't imagine how hard it was to hold onto her and Zeke both. "Zeke?"

"I'm here! Pull us up!" Zeke shouted.

Nothing happened, but a moment later, Warden Nyxon peeked over at her, "By the Maker, you caught them both." 

"We got you!" Tenner's voice drifted over the edge. She couldn't see him and thought he might be holding onto the chain with Fuire.

"Give me your hand." Nyxon leaned down cautiously, but she couldn't let go of Zeke or the hook to take his hand.

"I can't." 

"Hold on," Zeke muttered, panting for breath as he spoke, "if I can grab some of this rock, maybe they can pull you up and then send the hook back down for me."

"No!" Fuire's voice came sharply. "Zeke comes up first!"

"That's impossible!" Zeke shouted back, "I'm okay, Fuire. It's okay." She looked down at Zeke, her arms were starting to shake.

"Hurry." He nodded and reached for some of the rock and earth and suddenly screamed. Ethylia flinched and almost dropped him as his weight abruptly got heavier. "Zeke!" He was shrieking below her.

"Darkspawn!" He finally shouted. "It's climbing up my leg!" Her body shook as he flailed underneath her, the grappling hook cutting into her hand deeper.

"My dagger! On my hip!" She yelled at him, her hand sliding off the hook a bit.

"No!" Nyxon gasped and said something behind him before he came partially over the edge. He reached down for her and she felt his hands grip her collar. "Don't let go of the hook!" He told her but her hand ached, it was bloody and her strength was waning. She could just see hands holding onto Nyxon's shirt as he leaned out to hold her.

"Zeke?!" Fuire was shrieking somewhere above them.

Zeke was trying to clamber up her leg, yanking her around and she slipped a little more before he managed to unsheathe her dagger to fight the darkspawn...and dropped it. "No!" He cursed rabidly, swatting at the shriek clinging to his leg. She could barely see it, holding onto him as it snarled.

"I'm slipping!" She felt some of the blood running down her arm before some of it dripped in her eye, stinging viciously, making her battle all the harder.

"I can't hold on much longer!" Nyxon shouted. "Pull!"

"I can't!" Mirah cried in unison with Zathrael.

"I am pulling!" Tenner yelled back.

"It's biting me!" Zeke shrieked and she managed to look down at him again, stark terror in his eyes. Fuire was screaming above them. 

As Ethylia looked down, feeling the way her body jerked around as Zeke flailed, her hand slipping but Nyxon refusing to let go, she realized they were all going to die. He was infected with the taint now, Nyxon was going to fall with them, hell, he might pull Zathrael and Mirah over with him. Tenner and Fuire would ultimately refuse to let go of the chain...they would all go over.

She looked back down, her hand slipping a bit more and she realized in that moment it would be her fault. She couldn't let him go. If she did, they could pull her up, no one but Zeke would fall, but she couldn't do it, she couldn't just drop someone like that. 

Zeke met her eyes and she saw it, he was thinking exactly what she was. Understanding abruptly filled his eyes and he loosened his grip on her hand. "Zeke, don't." She cried haggardly but she was dangerously close to falling.

"You can't all die with me." He gasped.

"Zeke?!" Fuire shouted from above, "Don't you fucking let go!"

Tears pricked her eyes as she stared at him and he called up, "I'm sorry, brother."

"Zeke, please, we'll find a way, we can do this together." Ethylia looked down at him. "Zeke? Zeke!"

She wasn't sure who screamed louder as Zeke let go. The weight of him and the darkspawn disappeared and the chain lurched higher and they all pulled her up in one smooth motion. As she landed on safe ground, however, Fuire dropped the chain and bolted past her.

"No! No, no! Zeke?" He hit the edge and froze, looking over.

"Ethylia?!" Zathrael grabbed her face, forcing her to meet his gaze. Tenner slid in the dirt as he fell to his knees next to her, his hand on her shoulder, he was a babbling mess as he tried to form words and failed and ultimately clung to her shoulder, his face buried against her as he heaved for breath. Zathrael still held her face in his hands, searching her eyes for a long moment before he pulled her to him and hugged her. "Are you okay?"

She shook her head, tears falling freely as she looked down at her bloody hand. She wasn't okay, none of them were. Zeke was gone.


	17. Be Still, Fair One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fuire accuses Ethylia of betraying them and truths are revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You'll notice some cute flirting done in a similar form to Solas and Lavellan's in game flirtations. I thought it was a nice touch.

Ethylia was running, trying to catch up to Fuire, they all were. They'd all sat there, numbly, crying, for several minutes before Fuire declared he was going to kill 'that pointy eared bastard' and took off running. They'd all scrambled after him, but she was falling behind, along with Nyxon.

She might've been able to keep going if all the fighting hadn't tired her out, if she hadn't been hanging from a grappling hook losing the last of her strength. Images kept flashing in her mind of Zeke letting go of her hand and falling. She couldn't shake it.

And she couldn't seem to catch up. She was weak when she finally gave in and collapsed, her muscles trembling throughout her body. Nyxon drew up short before turning back for her. "Come on, get up,"

"I can't." She was heaving for breath.

"You can." He grabbed her under the arms and hauled her upwards. She was drenched in sweat. They kept running. It felt like hours passed and she could barely make it at this jogging pace. She hadn't seen anyone but Nyxon for a long time now. Eventually, the running, the sweating, the thirsting, numbed her consciousness until she was nothing more than a machine, going forward by some invisible will. 

She wasn't sure when she'd slowed to a walk, blood was still pouring from her hand. She'd been cut hours ago, how could her hand still be bleeding?

"Ethylia?"

She lifted her head and spotted Zathrael. Nyxon was doubled over next to him. Mirah and Tenner had stopped not far ahead and Fuire was between them. "How long have we been running?" She asked, barely any strength to whisper.

"It's close to dawn." Zathrael indicated the eastern horizon where just a touch of color laid in the sky. He touched her arm gently, concern etched in his brow, "Ethylia?" She didn't respond and he pulled her hand up to examine it. "I'm sorry. We should have patched this up before we left."

"It's not like he gave us time." She glared after Fuire.

"Don't do that. He lost his brother."

"Hey," speaking of brothers, she lifted her chin to look at Tenner as Zathrael ripped off the bottom of his shirt and started wrapping it around her hand. "I think we've got him stopped."

"I don't think it matters." She said, "If Solas were here we should have caught up. He walked away. We ran."

"Where could he possibly go?"

"Someone that powerful? I don't know, maybe he can simply vanish at will." Zathrael tied off the bandage around her hand and lifted her knuckles to his lips. She paused in her anger, blinking at him with surprise, his thumb stroking across the tips of her fingers in a soothing manner. _"Ea'atish durlahn, na ina'lan'ehn sal."_

She frowned, "What does that mean?"

He scrunched up his face in a strangely adorable way, "You really don't know the words of your people?"

"I was raised by humans." She stated. "I remember common phrases, as many city elves do, but no, it is unfamiliar."

"It translates to 'be still, fair one,' but the meaning of _ina'lan'ehn sal_ itself is much deeper. It is an endearment of sorts, a compliment. It does not simply mean beautiful, but that you are the substance of beauty inside and out."

She cocked her head to the side, "Are you saying I'm beautiful?" 

A hint of red spread across his face as Tenner abruptly squared up next to him. "Merely stating the obvious." He said and met Tenner's gaze, almost in a timid manner, his head ducked low.

"I think you would be better off over there, away from my sister." Tenner replied, indicating Fuire and Mirah's direction. 

"I take my leave then." Zathrael took a step away from her and Tenner turned to follow. When he took another step, Zathrael lurched back and popped a kiss on her lips, quick and sweltering, and a waggle of his eyebrows before he scrambled away before Tenner realized what he did. She smirked, biting her lip as she stared after them. 

Before they reached the group, Nyxon leveled a stare at her, "You have some explaining to do." His voice left no room for argument but she tensed, prepared to argue.

"Pardon?"

"What did he mean? When he said you sounded like her?"

"I told you I don't—" he slammed his fist against the nearest boulder and stormed forward.

"Do not lie to me! I want the truth." 

She swallowed as she stared at him and Tenner slowly moved closer to the warden, hand on the hilt of his sword, "It's not your concern, Nyxon."

"The hell it isn't. What are you withholding from us?" He wheeled and glared at Tenner. "Seems you both know. Your father was with the Inquisitor when she went to stop Solas, right? You can try to make us believe he sent you in his stead, out of some guilt of not permanently stopping the Dread Wolf twenty years ago, but I know better. You don't send your head scout into the field when you have other scouts, and Solas acted like he knew you which is unlikely given the fact that he was entombed twenty years ago when you were naught but a little girl."

Ethylia swallowed as he continued to pin her down with a stare. Her heart bounced with turmoil, she was more conflicted than she'd ever been. Zeke died for this mission and it was falling apart all around her. Guilt threatened her. Once again Solas had cost another innocent life and her blood had set him free. 

Tenner continued to stand off against Nyxon, "I told you, it's not your concern—"

Fuire shoved to his feet and flung himself at Tenner. She gasped with surprise and ran to break them up but Nyxon caught her around the waist. "Let go!"

"Let them fight." He muttered as Tenner rolled Fuire off of him and hammered him with quick fists. Fuire shoved his heels into the ground and pushed upwards, flipping him off before clambering to his feet and they both threw punch after punch before Fuire took a hit to the chin and sprawled out in the dirt. Tenner pounced, pounding on his back.

"Tenner!" She shouted but he kept hitting. "Tenner, stop!"

"Enough!" Zathrael jumped forward and pulled Tenner back with surprising ease. Tenner held his hands up to show he didn't intend to fight anymore and backed away, wiping blood from his nose while Fuire rolled over, staring skywards. He sat up and pulled his knees in, resting his elbows on them as he panted for breath.

"Zeke is dead." Ethylia closed her eyes when Fuire finally spoke again. He sounded broken. Not once in all their tavern fights had Zeke ever been there with him. She hadn't even known he'd had a brother because she only saw him when he was coming to pick on her, bully her, and provoke her and Tenner into a fight. Yet sorrow filled her more than she could say and her heart broke for him.

"I'm sorry,"

"No you're not!" He jerked around and jolted to his feet, stumbling sideways as he pointed at her. "You did this. For all we know you were plotting with that bloody knife ear, letting him escape us and pretending."

"No," she shook her head but he was still staring at her, pointing, accusing. 

"Come on," Tenner reached for her, "we don't have to listen to this and we don't have to stay."

She stepped out of his reach, head bowed. She didn't trust Fuire, not in the least. She wasn't sure she could trust her warden either, but Zeke was gone, Solas had escaped, and things were falling apart. She had to pull them back together. As Thom said to her often, "you could inspire people, like her, if you wanted to."

"Then if you weren't conspiring, give us something to believe." Nyxon said.

"Give me a reason to believe Zeke didn't die because of your betrayal!"

"I didn't betray you!"

"That's not what it looks like from here!" Fuire screamed. "You know what he said to me, just this morning, he told me, 'there's something about her, I think we can all feel it even if we don't want to, but she's special. I think you would do well to let go of your hate, she's not that bad.'" His fists unclenched and he closed his eyes for a long moment, "He was the best of me..."

She had no tears left to cry. She'd run so long and hard, she was still covered in sweat and weak, but her eyes stung all the same. If anyone in her life had ever deserved some form of truth, it was them. No, she didn't trust Fuire and he hated her, probably more so now, but Cullen had sworn that his men would remain silent about their mission and tell no one.

"Cullen trusts you," Ethylia said as she took a breath, hoping something changed for them. She wanted to make it better. "Inquisitor Lavellan was my mother." There was no pause, no measure of time between her words and everyone turning to look at her, including her brother. The expression on his face said he couldn't believe she'd told them. "The men and women who were part of her advisors in the Inquisition, and some of her companions, are the only people who know. And Tenner, of course." 

"Why?" Nyxon demanded.

"My mother thought it would be best if no one knew. If people knew the Inquisitor was with child, they would expect her to settle down, but she loved what she did, she loved how many people she was able to help as Inquisitor, so she didn't tell them. She hid it well, even after I was born she hid that she was a mother. As I grew, she thought it would be better for me if no one knew who I was. She was terrified of the pressure they would put on me to be...well, Inquisitor. To be as great as she was." She shrugged, "She wanted me to live without that kind of legacy hanging over my head, without people of all political stations trying to use me for who I was, instead of loving me for who I am."

"And after she died?" Fuire lifted his head to meet her gaze, "No one told who you were?"

"They honored her wishes, to keep me safe, let me have a normal childhood." Or as normal as it could be being considered a half elf with no mother. 

"My father took her in." Tenner added, "There was a lot of discussion amongst the old members of the Inquisition about where they would take her, what they would do. When Father told me the story, he always said there was a lot of concern that if the Chantry knew of her existence, they would demand the child of Lavellan be given to them, as the daughter of the Herald of Andraste, she would have been seen as something more."

"Are you even half elf?" Mirah called, but she didn't sound offended or upset, merely curious.

She pressed her lips together in a thin line, debating that question before she said, "No."

Nyxon looked a little startled, a little angry, and he stormed closer. He stared at her and she stared right back, watching him look her up and down before he said, "Is he your father? And stop trying to lie to me."

Ethylia's heart was in her throat as she tried to form any sort of coherent thing to say to him. She'd never been faced with someone knowing that, other than those she loved and cared about, and the witch Morrigan. These people...they could tell the world. Honestly, what was stopping them? Their word?

Fuire scoffed abruptly and threw his hands up, "Of course. I overheard the commander say she was twenty three summers. That would have you being born what—a few months after Solas disappeared from the Inquisition?"

"Do much eavesdropping?" She demanded.

"Despite what you think I don't spend all my time plotting against you and Tenner. You two were just so much fun to fight." He curled his lip.

"Because you enjoyed picking on the knife ear." She spat back.

"No, that was just fuel to use against you. As Zeke often told me, I enjoyed a good fight a good bit too much."

Tenner scoffed with disbelief, "You mean to tell me all this time you only singled us out—"

"Because I knew you'd fight. You were too easy to provoke. Pick on your sister and you jump right in. Don't get me wrong, I hate all of you bloody elves, but I don't give a shit one way or another. I just want a good fight." He rolled his shoulders, "So, is that what you told Solas? That he's your daddy and—"

"No!" Ethylia said quickly, "No, he can't know." The reasons why were getting more unclear to her by the second. She recalled the way Solas had acted as he heard her voice, as he looked in her eyes and told her she looked like her mother. "He saw her in me, when he looked at me. He recognized me as her child."

"The Dread Wolf isn't stupid, he'll know you're his." Nyxon stated.

"If it's crossed his mind at all he doesn't care." She said, "And if it does cross his mind, I'll tell him otherwise."

"That your Commander Thom's child? How well do you think he'll handle that?"

"I...uh..." shit. She hadn't thought of that. She glanced at Tenner and then said, "There's no reason for him to know anything. We're just here to put him back in his tomb, in the ancient sleep that the elves took."

"How? With that canteen we left behind us on the rocks? It probably crumbled and fell in with Zeke." He pulled his sword from it's sheathe and slung it across his shoulders, "I'm going to kill him."

As if to punctuate his words, a burst of green, rift magic lifted into the sky some distance away, giving away Solas's location. He was still here, he was still on the mountain. Furie didn't say a word, he just turned and followed the green light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, I've been doing research on the elvhen in Dragon Age as laid out by Fenxshiral. Using lingojam.com I was able to form a bit of what I hope is an elvhen phrase. "Be Still, Fair One." It was interesting, I had to get creative in how I translated it because there were no elvhen words for 'still.' So I found the elvhen words for calm and quiet and used them both as part of the phrase. Likewise, there was no word for 'fair' so I used beautiful soul for the translation since that is how I viewed Zathrael's use of the phrase 'fair one.' It was interesting to try, I hope I stuck the words together the proper way based on my research.


	18. She Never Had To See The Dread Wolf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethylia and her companions catch up to Solas.

They found Solas at the split in the road surrounded by dozens of dead darkspawn. They were piled on top of each other in a circle around him. Thom had been right, his powers were growing quickly. He didn't look any worse for wear, barely a trickle of sweat beaded on his head as he spotted them and stood up a little straighter, one hand held out as if to ward them off.

"You caught up quicker than I imagined." He called out to them, but he was looking at her. "You have your mother's determination."

"We ran hard." She replied. She cast a glare at Fuire and said quietly, "We need to think this through Fuire, we can take him down."

"I'm here to kill him." He stated right before he charged. Nyxon cursed him but none of them moved as he charged forward, bent on suicide by all appearances.

"We can't stand here and do nothing." Mirah turned to Nyxon, "What do we do?"

He glanced at her, "I don't know, how do we fight an ancient elven god?"

"All I had was _'make him drink this potion and he'll go back to sleep.'"_

"We'll take him back." Tenner stated, "Take him into custody, get him back to Morrigan."

"How?"

Fuire collided with Solas and a burst of green light shot him backwards. The elf, otherwise, didn't move. Fuire rolled across the ground, cursing him the whole way and then stood up and went after him again. The same thing happened and she felt hope quickly draining away. As Fuire stood up a third time, Zathrael ran forward and put a hand on his shoulder, staying him.

Solas called out, "I don't have the time to do this all day. Continue on this path and I'll be forced to properly defend myself."

"If you call murder proper." Zathrael snapped and raised his bow, but the arrow crumbled into a heap of ash before he could even fire it. 

"Call your men off." Solas gave another warning.

Ethylia stared his way as Fuire prepared to charge again, as Nyxon gripped his blade tighter and Mirah lifted her staff. She had a choice to make, to try or to let him go on to destroy the world. If they lost him now she was afraid they'd never catch him again.

With that in mind, she squared her shoulders and called out, "You are hereby being taken into the custody of Grey Warden Nyxon, and Captains of the Ferelden Forces, by order of our commanders, we are here to bring you in."

"You may try." He inclined his head.

"We cannot allow you to carry out your mission of tearing down the veil."

He pressed his lips into a thin line, "I must." He lifted his hand and just as a wave of magic burst forth, Mirah threw herself forward and countered his magic, a barrier rising up around them. She felt it rush through her skin, like an electric spark before everyone charged. 

Solas barely moved as he swiped his hand through the air and Fuire and Zathrael rolled across the ground by some invisible force. Nyxon and Tenner lunged and were cast aside just as easily and then he rained flame down on Mirah's head. Her barrier withstood the force momentarily before it burst and she screamed.

Ethylia dove for her, tackling her into the dirt, away from the spiral of flame, hot embers on her back. Her hair was a little singed but as she looked up, Solas was raising his hand again, swatting through the air and again Fuire rolled several feet away from him.

They couldn't win like this.

She looked around, spotting nothing useful. Her mother's journal was biting into her hip from the way she'd fallen on top of Mirah, and she realized she already had the tools she needed to fight him. She couldn't fight with fists, daggers, or Mirah's magic, but she could fight with wits.

"Is that how you killed my mother?" She demanded and pushed to her feet. The air felt alive with magic all around her, but as she rose, as those words left her lips, it died all around her and everything went silent. The dawn was lighting the world all around them, but the serenity of a quiet morning couldn't be named here.

Slowly, his steel blue eyes turned to look at her.

"They told me how she died, how you used your magic to push her away, right into—"

"I know how it happened!" He snapped, rage contorting his features, but then he let it go and bowed his head, "I did not mean for it to happen."

"But it did." She started creeping forward while his head was down.

"The Mark would have taken her life eventually." He looked up and met her gaze.

Ethylia curled her lip and scowled at him, "Is that what you tell yourself to make it all better? Well it's not better for me." She moved closer, surprised at how much rage she felt as she brought this topic to his attention, as she brought it to the forefront of her own mind. She had to get close enough to hit him over the head or something, knock him out, maybe once he was unconscious, they'd have a chance of getting him to Morrigan. She'd never seen someone who could do magic so easily, with no use of a staff. He was more dangerous than they knew. "I had to grow up without her because of you. She could've had more time."

"I gave her all the time I could."

"Don't use that as an excuse for your actions!" She was closer now, so close, her heart ached, though. Shit, but her chest hurt so bad she didn't know how she was still standing, her mind shriveled as she cried on the inside for the loss of her mother. "I didn't even get to say goodbye."

"I'm sorry,"

"No you're not!" She lunged at him, too early, but her heart and mind were so wounded it clouded her judgement. He threw his hands up to stop her, but as the magic burst out of it, it spread around her easily and she crashed into his chest. They both tumbled to the ground and she pinned him and then she just stopped, staring down at him in disbelief. He frowned and shook his head like he couldn't believe it either before he grabbed her shoulders and rolled.

He tried to scramble away, but the others must have seen opportunity and sprang because Nyxon and Fuire were swinging for him, swords ready. His magic worked on them just as effectively as it had before, but when Ethylia charged him again, she went right through it, kicking the back of his knees.

Solas cried out, a grunt of pain before he raised one hand. She stuck her dagger to his throat, "Surrender!"

"Stop or I'll end them." He panted, "I do not want to, but I will." Shrieks went up all around her and she lifted her head, eyes going wide as everyone hit their knees, screaming and twisting with pain. It was all the distraction he needed to shove her backwards and get out of her grip. She felt herself fall, the ground rushing up to meet her, her damaged hand taking the brunt of the fall. She wheeled to find him several feet away, out of her reach, but still the others cried out.

"Stop!" She gasped, "Don't you have enough blood on your hands?!" 

"Yes." Guilt flooded his voice but he didn't stop. "How is it my magic does not affect you? How long have I been asleep?!"

"Stop!" She plead.

"Tell me!"

"This isn't you!" She tried again, her eyes stinging, "She spoke of a kind man who lent a helping hand to others, not this monster."

"She never had to see every side of me. She never had to see the Dread Wolf. I'm sorry that you have to."

Fire rose inside of her, sparking through every inch of her skin. They'd already lost Zeke, she couldn't lose more. They couldn't all die because of her. Her blood had released him. She caused _this._ Searing heat boiled inside her, threatening to pour out of her. 

Then it did.

Pain, the likes of which she'd never felt before, stretched out from inside of her, like a water skin that was too full splitting open. It poured out of her, hotter than the flames that poured out his hands, and green magic twisted through the ground and up through Solas. He threw back his head, his mouth going wide with a silent scream before they both collapsed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "She never had to see the Dread Wolf" is a bit of a reference to Tresspasser when Solas tells the Inquisitor "I will not have you see what I become." I thought it fitting to make a discreet reference back to it and to also have Solas apologize that Lavellan's daughter _did_ have to see it at all.


	19. Not a Mage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warden Nyxon demands answers from Ethylia

Ethylia came awake to the dull ache in her body and a numbness in one arm that came from laying on it for far too long. She blinked open her eyes, shifting slowly, the tingling spreading more intensely in her arm for a moment before it started to ease and she pushed up slowly.

She was by a small fire, gently flickering back and forth. It stole her attention as she groggily tried to focus. She felt a little out of sorts, not worse for wear, but her mind began to gather bits of memory and took notice of the world around her. The last thing she remembered was fighting Solas, the white hot pain bursting through her body. It'd been a long time since she'd felt it, but never to such an intense degree. 

Movement in her peripheral caused her to turn her head and Zathrael leaned closer to her. "How are you feeling? Are you okay?"

"Where is everyone?" She looked around but he set his hand on her shoulder.

"Take it easy."

"Zathrael,"

"They're behind you. Most of them." 

She twisted around farther and spotted them. Nyxon and Mirah stood guard over Solas as he sat back against a rock. The more her eyes focused she realized he was slumped over, head rolled to the side. She swallowed and couldn't explain the lurch her heart took. "Is he dead?"

"No." Zathrael shook his head softly. "Whatever you did, well, he hasn't woken since. Neither have you for that matter. I was getting worried." He set his hand on top of hers. 

"Where's my brother?"

"We all agreed Fuire shouldn't be left alone out here." He told her and she gave him a puzzled glance. "Fuire tried to kill Solas after you both collapsed. Tenner fought him off. He said it wasn't our mission to kill him, nor was it just to kill an unconscious victim. He refused to allow it."

"What else?"

He pressed his lips together, "We debated it...ultimately Warden Nyxon made the call. Not that your brother would have it any other way." He touched the tip of her elongated ear, studying her features with an intimate eye, his finger tracing down to her jaw.

"And you? What did you think of it?"

His eyes darkened for a split second and then vanished as he calmed himself, "Tenner wasn't able to stop Fuire from getting a shot at Solas. Even as he slumbers, there is a protective barrier around him so strong Mirah's magic could not weaken it. Even if we wanted to, we cannot physically harm him, though we were able to bind his hands with simple rope. I'm not sure it'll help."

"That's not an answer to the question I asked."

"He is evil, Ethylia, I just want everyone safe, but perhaps he doesn't deserve to die yet."

She kept her reaction concealed, but his words curdled in her gut like sour fruit. Part of her wanted to rise to Solas's defense, but as she glanced his way, studying his limp form, she couldn't. He'd threatened her friends' lives, her brother's. She faced away from Zathrael and dug into her pocket, finding the book she'd carried with her for years. She flipped through the pages, wishing for answers that weren't there.

Why had her mother so fervently defended this man? Why had she loved him so? It was written all throughout the pages and yet it made no sense. _Never believe them, Ethylia, okay? Solas isn't a bad man._ Her words haunted her now more than ever. She fought to put Solas in his deep sleep, how could she believe her own words?

Had her mother been that blinded by love?

She slammed the book shut and stood up, her limbs shaky. Zathrael looked up at her questioningly. "You didn't say where Tenner and Fuire went."

He stood next to her, stretching as if he'd been sitting next to her for as long as she'd lain there. "Fuire just left. He didn't say why, he didn't say anything. Every time he tried to attack, Tenner stopped him."

"You sure they haven't killed each other out there?" 

"I doubt it. Your brother was surprisingly supportive of Fuire's point of view."

"Perhaps he's a better person than me, I'm not sure I would have."

"If you lost Tenner, would you sit calmly by? Put yourself in Fuire's shoes, he lost his brother, not even a day ago." 

She closed her eyes. Putting herself in his place was a painful notion, she didn't like it one bit. "No." She tried taking a step, but her legs almost gave out and Zathrael quickly took her arm and pulled her back towards the fire. "No, I want to speak to them."

"They can come to you. I don't think Solas is waking anytime soon. Nyxon has some questions for you anyways." He helped her sit and then scurried across the rocks towards the others. It was a short distance, but he left Mirah on guard all the same and marched over.

"Before you start in on her, take it easy, she's tired, she can barely stand—"

Nyxon completely ignored Zathrael and looked down at her. She'd hoped he would at least come down to her level, not that the dwarf was that tall, but still. She climbed back to her feet with the speed of an old woman as he pointed a finger at her, "You have a lot of explaining to do and I want no arguments from you. It's either that or—"

"Save your threats, Warden." She didn't want to know what his threat would be, to have that hanging in her mind. "I have no arguments left for you."

He considered her, watching intently before he crossed his arms, "Fine, I'll ask a question and I want answers to follow them." She waved for him to speak so he did, "What in Andraste was that?"

"Can you be more specific?"

"The magic you used. I've seen mage magic and that...didn't quite seem like it. You're not a mage? What are you? What happened?"

"No, I'm not a mage." She began and he glared at her and stormed forward.

"Then what the hell are you?!"

"Nyxon," Zathrael's voice was full of warning.

"Shut it, elf," he waved at him but continued to glare at her.

"I wouldn't say I'm anything other than a scout." He opened his mouth to argue but she quickly cut him off. "Don't yell, let me finish. I'm not sure any of us can really explain it. It comes from my mother. I don't think anyone ever expected it to be this way, but whatever magic gave her the mark on her hand...it's in me."

"That magic killed her so how are you alive?"

She shrugged, "We don't know. We didn't even know I was like this until I was eight."

"What happened when you were eight?"

"Dogs." She wobbled on her feet and Zathrael was on her arm in an instant, tugging to get her to sit. She did. "There was this stray mutt, not what anyone would call a good animal, barely healthy. My father kept trying to run it off, but it kept coming back. He didn't know I was feeding it scraps." Nyxon was looking impatient but she had a point to this story. She hurried past the sentiments to finish the story before he berated her or bluntly yelled some more. "I befriended the poor beast in secret and one day Tenner and I were playing in the yard by ourselves and these other dogs came up. They were wild, they were hungry, but unafraid of people. We were just kids, Tenner younger than I, we looked like food to them."

"They attacked you?" Zathrael asked.

"They tried. That dog I befriended, he intercepted them, but they tore him apart. I remember screaming on repeat for Papa, but he couldn't get there fast enough. That poor animal was dying right in front of me and it happened, it just burst out of me like today and it hurt all the dogs except mine."

He debated her words as she finished, switching from one foot to the other before he said, "Does it always happen like that? Like today?"

"No." She shook her head. "I fell off a horse once and triggered it. I swore I landed on this big rock but somehow went through it and landed safely on the grass next to it, but no one seemed to have seen it happen like that. Obviously my mind just made that part up, but they did see a burst of green."

"That's it, just a burst of green?"

"My Uncle Dorian came to teach me about magic, leaving the Magisterium for several months to do so. They thought I was a mage, but Dorian was the one that discovered it was more like my mother's Mark, Fade magic of some sort. I can't control it, hell, I hardly even know it's there, but no, I'm not in danger of being possessed." 

"How so?"

"I'm not a mage." She stated plainly. 

"Any other times it happened?"

"Once more. When Tenner's mother died. She was the closest thing I had to another mother. I actually have more memories with her than my own mother. I was lucky enough to have it happen away from the people that were there for her last rites."

"Magic like that has to come out." Zathrael said, "That's why it knocked you out, you can't just let it build up inside of you."

"I told you, I can't control it. I never even know it's there until it suddenly comes ripping out. My uncle is a Magister in Tevinter and even he couldn't figure out how to make it come out of me. We couldn't trigger it. Nor does it seem to be killing me like it did to my mother."

"There has to be a way to unlock that sort of power."Zathrael insisted.

"If there is, I've yet to find it."

"Well, whatever it is," Nyxon began and glanced back at Solas before he faced her again, "I think we owe you thanks for it."

"I'm sorry he hurt you." He was close enough that she reached out and set her hand on his wrist in what she hoped was a show of comfort and sympathy.

"I think Fuire's right, Ethylia, I think we should kill him. He wants to rip the world apart, destroy us all, and he's so powerful we barely managed to get him in our custody. If he wakes, I'm not sure it'll remain so."

Part of her heart rebelled at that, her mother's words echoing deeply in her mind again. She didn't understand why her mother defended him so. What made her mother say that he wasn't bad, that she shouldn't believe what everyone said about him?

She didn't want to choose a side yet and she wasn't sure if it was because of her mother or because she was actually trying to rationalize something out that her mother hadn't quite told her. Maybe she was as crazy as she had been.

With that in mind, she presented Nyxon with the logical answer and tried to steer clear of an emotional one. "Zathrael said that he had a barrier spell around him even as he slept."

"He does." He sighed, "I am beginning to wonder if it's possible to kill him, but his magic didn't touch you, why?"

She looked down as she found the necklace hidden under her shirt and pulled it free, holding it up. The broken piece of jawbone was easy enough to recognize and both Zathrael and Nyxon looked back at Solas for a moment.

"It's his," she affirmed their suspicions. "There was this woman, a powerful woman, who helped put Solas in his sleep last time. This piece of his necklace broke off and she saved it. Because it means something to him, she was able to spell it in such a way that whoever wears it is protected from his magic. His magic only, but that's all I need right now."

"As long as he doesn't melt those ropes right off his hands or something, maybe we can use that to our benefit. Keep him away from everyone except whoever has the necklace. Let that person guard over him." She wrapped her hand around it tightly and he caught the movement. "Don't get sentimental on us now. Come on, I'll take it and stand guard for the night, everyone else should get rest."

"What about Tenner and Fuire?"

"With any luck, we'll catch up to them or they'll come back." 

She slipped the necklace off hesitantly, "You know, if we keep this out of sight, he might not realize we have it and what it does. He may still think he can't use magic on me, even if I'm not wearing the necklace."

He nodded as he placed it around his neck and tucked it under his shirt, "That's an advantage we can't afford to overlook." He agreed and walked back towards Solas.


	20. Lavellan: A Good Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lavellan struggles with her grief and Solas argues with her about her coping mechanisms. 
> 
> ...Seems to me like Lavellan needs a little distracting ;)

She could feel Solas’s eyes on her as she offered what little comfort she could to the few people gathered around the pyre in Crestwood. It was Varric that spoke. “You did a good thing here, Inquisitor.”

“That’s what we’re here for.” She said softly. He knew the truth, though, so did the others. She’d brought most of her companions with her for this. After draining the lake in Crestwood so they could reach the Rift, they’d gathered up the remains that they could find so the Chantry sister could give them a proper funeral. The bodies were a decade old, they had no name to give their unidentifiable forms, but it was a kind gesture that she couldn’t say no to.

She’d expected more people to come. As she looked around, there were a sparse amount of villagers here, but the sister had told her the memory and pain was too strong for many of them to come. They’d grieved long ago for their lost ones and they didn’t wish to reopen that wound.

Lavellan couldn’t say she understood. Her grief was still fresh, but if, years from now, she had the chance to give anyone from her clan a proper burial, she would. She wouldn’t hesitate to reopen that wound to see them remembered. They’d been so scattered and hunted that Cullen’s troops weren’t sure they’d found all the bodies. 

“I brought these gifts,” she drifted off a little, perhaps she’d brought too many, “for the families.” She turned around and Varric held out a pack for her that he’d been carrying. “Not all of them are here.”

“I can see to it that they receive them.” The Chantry sister smiled sweetly at her, clasping her hands around hers. She didn’t take the bag as she looked at her. “You are a blessing unto the people of Thedas, Herald.”

“As are you, Sister, you work hard and bring much light to the world.” She relinquished her hold on the sack and the woman resumed her prayers over the pyre as the bones of the dead burned. 

Lavellan didn’t want to stay any longer. “Come on.” She turned and left, her feet following the worn path. She was ahead of them, letting her long legs take her away swiftly. It wasn’t until she reached the pillars below that Solas caught up to her.

“You are remarkable.” He said and she looked at him, a little startled, but she kept walking. “Your heart must surely be in pain, yet you bless these people with gifts to ease their own suffering, no worries for yourself.”

“I don’t have enough left in me to worry for myself when everyone else needs me.”

He tugged her to a halt and turned her, hand resting gently on her elbow. As she faced him, she realized the rest of her companions were still farther up the hill. She hadn’t realized how quickly she’d been walking. Practically fleeing. It’d been weeks since the news of her clan, but still her soul ached. 

“I worry for you.” He brushed a strand of her hair out of her face. “You mean so much…I mean…to everyone.”

She felt her brows tug together and she tilted her head to eye him, “And to you?”

“Well,” a brief smile touched his lips, “I would think that was obvious.”

“That isn’t quite an answer.”

“Yes. To me. To the world.” He was still dancing, redirecting the answer so it was less about his feelings. It actually made her smile, especially as she remembered a snowy day in Haven as he told her she changed everything. “You are precious to me.”

She hadn’t expected him to say anymore, but those last words, uttered so sweetly…she pulled him in for a kiss, she didn’t care if the others were watching, if they could see. They had to know by now, they must’ve realized how much time they were spending together. The gods knew Dorian couldn’t keep his mouth shut and had probably told all of them anytime he spotted her in the rotunda with him, especially when he caught them kissing.

Solas pulled away, trying to hide his expression but his eyes spoke of passion and desire that she felt deep in her heart. “Solas, I…” he was backing away, folding his hands behind his back the way he did.

“We should not.” He murmured.

“If you’re concerned about everyone else, I think they know.”

“I’m not, what I do with you is none of their business.” He at least stopped backing away.

“And what is it you would like to do with me?”

“I…” his lips parted as his pupils dilated. If her eyes weren’t deceiving her, he trembled just a hint. There was no doubt about what he wanted to do with her in that moment, the desire in his eyes, the way his breath caught in his throat… Yeah, she’d like to do _that_ with him, too.

Then Iron Bull’s voice blasted through the air, “How about a drink?” She closed her eyes as the others reached them and the moment passed, as Solas sealed his lips and Iron Bull thumped her back lightly. “We could all use a long night when we get back to Skyhold.”

“I think I would like that.” She replied, still watching Solas. She’d been drinking with Iron Bull nearly every night since her clan’s death. It was getting harder to sleep, harder not to go mad with the weight bearing down on her shoulders. 

“Aye! Back to Skyhold and a night of long drinking for us! And maybe that Chantry sister that’s been following me around.”

“Maybe I’ll join you and that sister, too.” She stated in jest and Solas yanked his head up, practically staring a hole through her. She didn’t let her expression change, just started away as the others gathered around her while she walked. 

“I might come along for a drink when we return.” Blackwall stepped along with her, keeping with her pace. 

“You’re not going to tell me a sad story about a dog again, are you?”

He laughed, his deep baritone resonating through the air. It was good to hear her friends laughing again, they’d been glum for months now, after the fall of Haven, after the loss of her clan. Maybe things could return to a bit of normalcy around here. Even Cassandra was laughing as she heard Blackwall’s words.

“He told me that story, too.” She stated with a disgusted noise. “That poor creature.”

“That story was not meant to be passed around by all of you. It was to make a point.” That earned a few more chuckles, but her mind was far from cheer. There was still a funeral burning behind them, still an ache in her heart that she could hardly bare. She reached instinctively behind her, not even sure what she was reaching for, but was pleasantly relieved and pleased when Solas’s fingers slipped into hers.

He was trailing just a short ways behind her and somehow she’d fallen more towards the back of the group. She looked over her shoulder at him and he seemed to understand. She faced forward, continuing with Blackwall next to her, Iron Bull leading the way while Sera pranced around. Varric was begging Cassandra for a round of Wicked Grace when they got back, while Dorian and Vivienne discussed clothes they’d seen at Val Royeaux last visit.

She continued on, pretending to be okay when they all knew she really wasn’t.

. . . .

“You’re throwing yourself into your work.” Solas called, startling her and she froze midstep. “And when you’re not working, you’re in the tavern.”

“Solas, you shouldn’t sneak up on people like that.” She commented. The Great Hall was empty, other than a few servants. They were getting this place cleaned up bit by bit and better decorated. Her newest addition were some statues by the doors. He was leaning against the fireplace where Varric usually lingered. He was gone, presumably to con some poor soul into a round of Wicked Grace.

He watched her intently, concern brimming in his gaze. “Remember when I said I worry for you?”

“In Crestwood.” She turned her eyes downwards, staring at the floor. “What about it?” He didn’t speak and she finally looked at him again. His arms were crossed as he leaned idly on the fireplace. Irritation rose inside her, “Are you suggesting I spend too much time in the tavern?” 

“You said it, not I.”

“Don’t twist my words.”

He blinked with surprise, “I twisted nothing, vhenan, I am only concerned with your well being. Iron Bull drinks nightly for a good time, many others join him, his Chargers, sometimes Blackwall and Sera.”

“Am I not allowed to have a good time? Because I’m the Herald of Andraste?”

“That’s not what I’m saying at all.” He lowered his hands and pushed off the wall, walking to her. “You don’t drink for a good time, you drink to erase the hurt.” He took her hands and she was mad that he was refusing to fight with her.

“You don’t know as much as you think you do.” She pulled her hands out of his and turned to storm away.

“It’s okay to grieve, _lethalan_.” She froze in place at those words. “One day is not enough to ease the burden of a broken heart.”

His words tore through her and she turned sideways, but she couldn’t turn more. He’d already seen her at her lowest, or so she thought, she didn’t want him to see anymore of her tears. “I can’t afford more than one day.” She wiped the single tear that managed to break free and straightened her back, brushing it all off. She was fine. Everything was fine. “I’m going to the tavern. Mayhaps you’ll join us one day.”

“Do you know how you got to bed last night, Inquisitor?” 

She was just turning again when his words reached her and she turned and faced him this time. She could see the anger on his face now. He only used her title like that when he was mad. If he wasn’t, she was vhenan, or lethalan.

He stepped closer, “I found you in the courtyard. In the _dirt_. Is that how you wish your people to see you? A drunken fool in the sand?”

“Well lucky for me you found—”

“I come to find you every night. I watch over you though you do not see me. I make certain you climb the staircase without falling, that you make it to your room without trouble. If you pass out in the tavern, I carry you back.” He was close now, inches from her, rage burning so hot that it singed his cheeks with a reddish hue. Then he sighed and looked away from her, closing his eyes, “You don’t just mean something to me, you mean something to everyone. I see you, I see the grief you try to hide, and I wish to take it away, but you turn to drink every night. You push each of us away when we try to help you.”

“I do not.”

“You do.” His eyes flicked back to her. “I recall Varric trying to speak to you about his own grief, that he believed talking about it helped and you simply said thank you and walked away. Cassandra is by no means good at emotional speeches, but she tried and Vivienne brought you scented oils and potions to soothe the soul, you accepted none of it.”

“I talked to Dorian.”

“You cried on his shoulder and left him to worry about you ever since. You’ve naught said a word to him. He is not my favorite person, but I do know what he is to you, one of your dearest friends, and you avoid him because you know he’ll make you confront your feelings.”

“Stop!” She slammed her hands over her ears. She closed her eyes, breathing heavily because she knew what he said was true. She was standing like that when she felt his hands slide over hers, his lips brushing against her hair. She felt the prick of tears again as his words rang through her mind. They stood like that for several minutes as she tried to level her breathing, slowly regaining control of her emotions. “Take it away, Solas, help me forget.”

“I believe Cole made that offer and you also turned him down.”

She sniffled and tilted her head back to look up at him. “Remember when I said I wanted to grieve, not a distraction?”

“When I made you the flowers, yes.”

“Distract me. Take it away, Solas.” She pressed her lips to his, hoping it conveyed her meaning and what she wanted. She clung to his neck, holding him close and she felt his eyelashes flutter against her skin and she blinked open her eyes.

He tilted his head just enough that their lips weren’t quite touching, but neither were they apart. “We mustn’t.”

“Solas,” she plead softly. “Why not? What reason can you give me? I’ll understand, but I need a reason lest I come to my own conclusions. Do you want me?”

He bit down lightly on her lips, “I want you more than you know.” He trembled in her arms.

“Then come with me. I won’t drink tonight. Come to my chambers.”

“I…” was he truly going to turn her down again? If he did she swore she was cornering him and forcing an answer out of him as to why. “Vhenan.” He closed his eyes and leaned into her and she sighed as he gave in. His hands curled around hers and she stepped towards the door that would take them up to her chambers. He followed, his hands resting in hers, letting her guide him as they made their way. 

She was aware of a pounding in her heart as they climbed the stairs, high up into the tower, his long, lean legs keeping in pace with her just fine. Each step took them closer to a paradise she craved, deep inside her body until they were at the top, standing near her bed. Lavellan turned to face him again and felt a blush creep over her cheeks as he eyed her with hunger. His tongue darted out to lick his lips before he moved closer. “Do not be nervous, _vhenan_.” His breath tickled across her ear and she wrapped her arms around him. 

“I feel as if I can’t keep my heart in my chest.”

There was a light chuckle before his fingers tipped her chin up and he brought her lips to his. Slowly, he brought his hands to rest on her hips, guiding her backwards until her calves brushed against the bed. She savored his kiss, savored his touch as his deft fingers blazed a quick trail to the buttons on her pants. She cupped his cheeks in her hands as he loosened the buttons and then she felt him slip inside, his hand sliding between her skin and the material of her trousers until he stroked her lightly where she craved him. Whatever heat had been rising inside of her caught fire, spreading out through her skin. She was suddenly panting for breath as he touched her, rubbing her until she was squirming against him and could no longer kiss him, tossing her head back as she gasped out loud.

His mouth found the sensitive skin on her neck, tonguing her lightly and kissing down to her collarbone as his other hand pushed her armored leather jacket off her shoulders. It clunked to the floor and she would’ve laughed if she had still been panting, writhing against him as he tortured her body with soft strokes of his thumb.

When he withdrew, she opened her eyes to find him removing his tunic. He had that light, half smirk on his face that he held often as he reached for her again, encouraging her to lean back on the bed with gentle pressure against her shoulders. She followed his directive, body pulsing as she waited for him to touch her again. He laid her back and his mouth found hers again as he slid her shirt up. Heat followed everywhere he touched. With each soft graze of his skin on her skin, the fire inside of her blazed hotter and she ached to feel him inside of her, reaching for his pants. She loosened the laces and slid them off his hip and felt him tugging at her own. She lifted up off the bed, allowing him to remove them in one swift tug.

As she was bared for him, she felt another prick of nervousness and bit her lip as she risked a look down at his perfect male form. Underneath those elven layers was lean, muscular man with skin like cream that she wanted to feel underneath her hands. Until she caught him watching her watch him. 

Heat exploded across her face, traveling along her skin and he smiled, his eyes crinkling in the corners, “You may look, vhenan.”

She bit her lip a little harder before she risked, “May I touch you?”

This time he laughed, “Do with me as you will.” He leaned back on his knees and she sat up, studying him curiously and he studied her. Her shirt fell back down to cover most of her and she saw the way he pursed his lips, so she lifted her arms. “Ah,” he took her invitation and lifted her shirt up and over her head, tossing it aside casually as he resumed studying her. “All the years in the Fade could not bring me such a beauty.” He reached for her, his thumb stroking across her cheek.

Lavellan smiled and his hand slid back to her hair before he pulled her closer. She laid back on her elbows and then flattened out beneath him as he spread out above her. Her heart hammered, but she held him close. He was everything she wanted. He positioned himself between her legs and she felt a thrill shooting through her skin and she shivered in anticipation.

“Are you ready?”

“Yes.” She said earnestly and he eased into her, slow and easy. Her body wrapped around him and she closed her eyes. “Yes…” She breathed the words out again, a husky whisper against the quiet night. He eased backwards and then pushed into her again, all the way, filling her completely and she held onto his shoulders, opening her eyes so she could find his lips, kissing him. The look of pure bliss on his face was enough to send more shivers through her, her body tightening around him and he moaned softly against her mouth, quickening his rhythm. 

Her hips rose to meet him, moving with him, their hearts beating as one. With each thrust she felt herself drawing closer to the edge of paradise, just within reach, heart pounding. Her breath came faster and faster and then he reached down to touch her between her legs. Pleasure jumped through her like a bolt of electricity with that one, simple touch, humming through her body. She felt it pour out through her, from her very core to the tips of her fingers and toes. She was practically vibrating as she cried out, tidal waves of pleasure rocking through her.

He went harder and faster right before he came, burying his face in her hair as he gasped in her ear. She felt him shudder one last time before he surrendered and collapsed on top of her, but his hands were curled around hers, their fingers laced together.

Lavellan turned her head to look at their joined hands, his body still part of hers, skin to skin. His chest heaved as hard as hers did and whatever she’d thought before about falling in love with him was a distant memory. She knew she loved him now, not because they were together, but because she felt a future here. They were doing good things with the Inquisition, saving lives. 

A man that saved lives as selflessly as he did, placing himself in danger for others, she could easily see herself living the rest of her life with him. She may have lost her clan and what little family she had left, but she had Solas, and she had her companions. They were her new family and while her heart would always ache for those she lost, she wouldn’t waste what she had. She would live for them. She would build a future, one she hoped in which elves were less prosecuted, treated as equals, and loved not owned. She could accomplish those things with Solas and the Inquisition and build a better future for everyone.


	21. Wake Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethylia gets an unexpected chance to speak to Solas alone.

"Now this is surprising." The tone was rather calm for the words he spoke. Ethylia cocked an eyebrow as she stared at nothing but empty fog, but the voice was behind her. She swung about and spotted a face that was quickly becoming familiar.

"Where are the others?" She demanded when she didn't see anyone but Solas nearby. The rocks were bare now, she didn't even see signs of their firepit. Yet, as she looked again, she realized she wasn't at the camp anymore. "What did you do?"

"I haven't done anything. Yet." He watched her with almost a curious glint in his eyes.

"Where are we?!" 

"Where does it look like?"

She glanced around again, it looked like the Mountain Pass, but that was impossible. This place was crawling with darkspawn, they hadn't made it that far. Not only that, the trail to it was now disintegrated. The last thing she remembered was falling asleep next to the fire, leaving Nyxon guarding Solas with the necklace that would protect him from Solas's magic. 

He laughed, drawing her attention back to him, "Don't worry, I will not hurt you here." He pushed off a rock he was leaning against and started walking. She stared after him, rage rising in her blood. How had he gotten her here?

"I'm serious, Solas, where are my companions? I swear if you hurt them—"

"You walked in on my dream, Ethylia, there's no need to blame me for your being here."

She stopped walking, staring at his back. "What?"

He must've heard her stop because he turned back, a smile teasing his lips. "Would you prefer darkspawn?" The moment he said it, the world flashed and changed around her, twisting and bending, darkspawn springing up out of the ground. One erupted up underneath her and she screamed and wheeled to run, but her feet wouldn't move, sliding on gravel, forced to run in place before everything stopped.

She drew up short and blinked, heart suddenly pounding before she whirled to face him. She opened her mouth, but she didn't know how to speak. Her mind was trying to catch up but this wasn't possible...was it?

"I recognized your Fade magic, it seems you have more than your mother's looks. Did you know she was able to use it to walk into the Fade? She unknowingly used it to enter my dreams once, to walk with me in the Fade as we both slept...and many times after she did it knowingly."

"What do you mean? This is a dream right now?"

"Yes."

Ethylia raised her head, looking skywards. The great Mountain Pass loomed overhead, a stretch of flat land out before them. It led outwards, onto an outcropping of rocks, high on a cliff's edge. "You said I walked into your dream...why here? What were you dreaming?"

"To be fair I called you, but you didn't come for a long time. I'm not sure what changed, but here you are." She reached for the empty place where the necklace had been. Maybe he hadn't reached her because she'd been wearing it. 

"You didn't answer me."

A sad look crept into his eyes and he glanced sideways and Ethylia followed his gaze. Right before her eyes focused on a figure, he seemed to dismiss it, pushing it away, and the world changed all around them. She saw unfamiliar travelers walking across the Pass's trail, humans and elves, dwarves and Qunari. Memories that lingered here on the mountainous trail.

She wanted to know who the figure was.

"Are you going to answer me or just stand there?"

"I wanted to ask you some questions, without the...intensity that lingers so much in the waking world. The risk of threat and all that."

"Let me guess, you want to know how long you've been asleep?"

"I've been gathering that. I'd say around twenty years or so. It seems much has changed, though I have yet to truly discover how much."

"Nor will you."

"No?"

"I'm going to put you back in your sleep and seal you in your tomb. You're not going to destroy the world."

"Ah," he sounded sad as he tilted his head downwards, "your mother felt the same."

"Stop talking about my mother. You don't deserve her memories." 

"I loved your mother very much." He shifted towards her and she tensed in case he attacked. Dream or not, she was ready. 

A quiver went through her limbs and her voice queried as she said, "You killed her."

"I never wanted her harmed. Truly, I loathe myself all the more for the pain and suffering I brought upon her. All of it, by my own design, my own mistakes. Yet, had I not made them I might never have known her." He met her gaze, "And I have to know, would you exist otherwise?"

So they finally came to it. She'd known he had to suspect, but she'd convinced herself he probably didn't care. She'd been lying about this her whole life, her recent experiences with her companions not withstanding. She curled her lip immediately, if he'd wanted to know the truth, he shouldn't have left the Inquisition, he shouldn't have left her mother when she needed him the most. 

"That would be impossible seeing as I'm half human." 

His brow drew together, "So she did move on...was she happy? Before it all ended?"

That was it? He accepted it just like that? "If you were concerned about her happiness you should have stayed." She looked around. "I want out of this place."

"You may go at any time you wish. You just have to wake up."

"How?"

He shrugged, "How do most people wake up?"

She walked away from him. She didn't know, she just woke up. She searched around but saw no obvious exit, just fog and memories. She'd never felt so awake while dreaming. She put her hands on her hips.

She thought she heard his amused chuckles before she wheeled. She was prepared to yell, demand, anything, but as she turned, she spotted a halla wandering the path of the mountain. It seemed strange to her, no hallas dwelled here, especially not by the mountains, but the more she looked, the more it seemed to shimmer and change, swaying lightly.

"What is that?" She asked as she studied the visceral deer, but something wasn't quite right.

"It is a spirit."

"Aren't spirits dangerous?"

"Only the tempestuous ones, but most would call those demons."

"What is it doing?" She frowned as it circled around Solas.

"Reminding me of better days."

"Can you answer anything I ask of you?"

"I've answered a lot but you have hardly answered me."

"That's because you're supposed to be sleeping, this wasn't supposed to take this long. Give you the tonic and away you went, and then we could go back before the darkspawn swamped everything."

"Is that what you put in my drink?" He turned to face her and the halla slowed her walk. "Something to make me sleep?"

"I wasn't going to kill you, I'm not a monster like you."

"If simply killing someone makes another a monster, would you not qualify? Would your mother not—"

"Stop it." She wanted out of here, especially now that the halla was wandering her way. "Get that thing away from me."

"It's not a thing, it's a being."

"I want to wake up."

"I have no control over when you do or do not wake up. Not unless I'm awake and shaking you. Or calling your name." The halla was almost to her, stretching out it's nose, taking another form and she stared with wide eyes just as a young, beautiful woman materialized in front of her.

"Ethylia!"

She jerked and sat up, blinking wildly as she looked around and spotted Solas staring at her. He was leaned back against his rock, hands still bound, with Warden Nyxon on guard. Had he been there all night? It was daylight now. That aside, the poor man looked quite startled at Solas's abrupt shout, sword in hand and ready.

"Are you awake now?" Solas blinked at her innocently and she frowned. Before she'd left the Fade. She could've sworn the halla became her mother. 

"What?" Nyxon looked terribly confused. Mirah was squatting by the small embers of the fire, staring across the flames at him while Zathrael sat up. 

"Yes I'm awake." She glared at him but he still looked as amused as he had in the Fade. She glanced around, amazed they'd been allowed to sleep all night without the darkspawn interrupting. Tenner and Fuire weren't back yet. Would Fuire even come back or march straight down the mountain?

"What are you two talking about?" Nyxon questioned and she rose slowly, watching the elf closely. She didn't trust him as far as she could throw a darkspawn. Point of fact, she wouldn't throw a darkspawn. However, she didn't want to answer Nyxon, she didn't want him to know she'd been talking to Solas in the Fade. He was already getting wary of her after her surprise burst of magical energy.

"We shouldn't linger here, we've already stayed too long." She began gathering their small amount of things.


	22. Depictions of Terror

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the darkspawn are closing in, Ethylia has to make a choice to release Solas or let Nyxon make the ultimate sacrifice of a Grey Warden.

It was a wonder to everyone when Solas stood up and followed without complaint, without a fight, and without melting the ropes off his hand. In fact, he barely spoke at all, he just watched her. With each second that ticked by she could feel his eyes boring into her back, into the side of her head. If she moved behind him he kept glancing at her over his shoulder. She didn't know if he did it to annoy her but she was getting more irritated by the second.

She tried falling back again, letting him and Nyxon pass her up. Zathrael was in the rear, ready to take out any darkspawn that might come at them from behind. Mirah led the way, prepared in the same ways. They were all ready for another darkspawn attack. 

"Hey," she felt Zathrael's hand on her shoulder, the touch almost tender. "Why don't you let me look at your hand?" She didn't argue as he reached for it, slowing her steps to match his. "It was cut right down to the bone, you know. Mirah healed a lot of it while you slept."

"I haven't look at it." She didn't want to think about hanging off a cliff and holding onto a grappling hook for dear life while Zeke let go to spare her the fall. No, not just for her, for all of them. He and the darkspawn would have taken every single one of them off that cliff if he hadn't let go. Maybe if he hadn't dropped her dagger he could've knocked it off and made it up, but once it bit him...he was tainted. That didn't make her feel better. 

"You really need this cleaned again."

"We can't afford to stop."

"There's no more darkspawn." He muttered and waved behind them. "The trail fell away, there's no way to cross without taking the secondary trail, but it's so rocky and mountainous, I don't see how that many darkspawn would be on it other than the ones that followed Solas."

"Believe you me, they will find a way. We can't stop their coming, though the delay is a help." He wrapped her hand with a fresh bit of cloth, his deft fingers sending a shiver through her. She swallowed down a wave of desire as he finished encircling her hand and lifted it higher. She wasn't sure what he was doing until he placed his lips against her knuckles.

Any desire she'd just tried to beat down rose back up with a vengeance, determined to make her feel something. And she felt a lot. She couldn't speak or grasp anything past his lips on her hand and then he continued walking, letting her go like nothing had just happened and she stared after him until she caught Solas looking back at her.

She cast him a glare and followed after them, moving to his side again so she could keep an eye on him. Zathrael was behind her once more, but damn she wanted to look back at him. Not with Solas's eyes on her every second, though.

"I really wish you would stop staring at me like that." She finally muttered under her breath.

"I meant no disrespect." He said in an amicable tone but he didn't look away.

"Are you purposefully trying to get under my skin?" He chuckled and didn't answer so she rolled her eyes and kept walking. "Well it's not working." 

That barely discernible smirk reappeared on his face. She wanted to swat him for it. She curled her fists. He was not going to get under her skin! She opened her mouth to say something else when he spoke, "Tell me how you have the same magic your mother did?"

"Maybe you should tell me since it's your fault it's there."

"Pardon?"

"The magic in your orb went to my mother. Some of the magic in her went to me."

His eyes sparkled with some new light she couldn't explain. "You have more power than you know."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He turned away and didn't answer and that frustrated her to no end. She slowed in her walk as two figures came into sight ahead of them and tried to push her thoughts aside. The pair were sitting on some rocks, but as they drew near, they stood up to greet them. "Tenner," she breathed a sigh of relief and hurried forward to hug him. She didn't fail to notice that Fuire, while appearing calm, was already digging holes through Solas with a hard glare.

"Are you okay?" Tenner asked immediately.

"Yeah, I just needed a little rest is all." She kissed his cheek and then turned to look at Fuire. He hadn't moved at all, just stood there, staring. She almost felt like she had a tool to fight back Solas's stare except she was concerned this tool might actually kill the elf.

"We talked a long time." 

"A good talk?"

Tenner gave a half shrug, "I think so?"

Fuire finally pulled his gaze away from Solas to meet hers. "I'm going to help you get him down this mountain." 

His words still held all the bitterness in the world, but there was so much sadness in his eyes that she reached for him automatically, he didn't even balk when her hand touched his arm lightly, "I'm sorry about Zeke."

He blinked rapidly like he was trying to clear tears from his eyes before he shot his attention back to Solas, "If you make any wrong moves I'll gladly be the one to put you down. The way I see it, you deserve this. You deserve whatever our Commanders will decide to do with you now that you're still awake. I say let them judge you."

Solas lifted his chin but said nothing.

Well, now that they had that settled... "You're not going to try and kill him while we're sleeping?"

"Couldn't if he tried." Mirah commented. "Whatever sort of protection spell he has around him is still seemingly impenetrable."

Right. "Let's keep moving then." She motioned ahead and Mirah resumed leading, Tenner falling into step beside her. She heard her ask him if he was okay through the night and cocked a light eyebrow as she watched a moment before Nyxon and Solas went wandering by. Fuire was glaring at him hard.

"One foot out of line, _Dread Wolf._ " He spat the name like a curse and Ethylia frowned, her mother's journal coming back to her mind. Solas had left her mother when Corypheus died, but she'd caught up to him two years later. There were writings about that day with Solas, that moment in time when she was finally with him again. 

Through the months, her mother kept going back to it, repeatedly throughout the journal, writing his words down, writing in her thoughts on the matter. He'd told her of his acquisition of the name Fen'Harel, how it'd been an insult drawn up by his enemies, but how he'd found amusement with it. He'd used it for his benefit.

The slight tug at the corner of his lips as Fuire ground out the name told her he still found amusement with it and she had to wonder, did he still use everything to his benefit? She had no doubt, a man known as a trickster would use every inch of everything around him.

"Wait a second." She grabbed his shoulder as Nyxon led him past and Solas looked at her curiously. "What are you doing?" 

"I am doing nothing." He lifted his hands in demonstration, his eyes flicking to the rope, "I am your prisoner." She stared at him, a feeling of unease in her gut. Why? Surely he should have been able to get away from them at any moment, so why did he walk with them freely? The moment they woke up, he'd been nothing but compliant.

"Why are you here?"

"Why are you?" He smirked and allowed Nyxon to lead him forward.

As they walked away, she tried to look deeper, tried to find reason, and Fuire stepped closer. "We're taking him off the mountain, but why are you making me feel like that's what he wants?"

She blinked at him as he said it, as the realization came crashing down. He wanted them to take him off this mountain. "Why did we catch up to him?"

"He got cornered by darkspawn."

"No, no," she shook her head, "he was ahead all night. He was out of sight, but when we caught him he was perfectly content, barely sweating."

"I don't think he intended on you putting him down." He pushed a finger against her shoulder, causing her to step back. "You need to figure it out because if we get him back to the village and he escapes, we have no idea where he's going to go, no way of trapping him. Here, we know where he'll go, where he can run. It's either right into the mouth of the darkspawn or downhill."

Maker's breath but he was right. If Solas got loose down below, there was nowhere for him to go except the world. It was at his disposal. "I won't let him destroy our world."

"If only he had your conviction." Fuire told her. He started to take a step when a noise erupted behind them and he turned, scowling. "Not again. Ethylia?"

"Shit. Darkspawn!" She shouted and wheeled, pulling free her daggers only to find one missing. She cringed as she realized it was the one Zeke had taken with him into the pits of that gorge. She grabbed her spare and faced the oncoming group of darkspawn as they ran down the trail behind them.

"Why are there so damned many?" Fuire demanded, "Every time we turn..." he drifted off as several massive ogres came into sight, roaring and running as they came. Fuire stumbled backwards. Ethylia felt her heart leaping, attempting to break out of her chest and flee.

"Nyxon?!" They'd barely survived the onslaught with one ogre and dozens of darkspawn.

"We don't have the numbers, run!" Nyxon urged and she bolted. She didn't need to be told twice. Fuire was already caught up to their group and surpassing Mirah in the lead. As she reached Nyxon, he didn't move and she slid in the gravel to a halt. "Don't take your eyes off him. Go!" He pushed Solas into her and pointed after the others. "Run!"

"What?" She gasped. "No, we're not leaving you here!"

"I'm a Grey Warden, this is what I do." He pushed them both this time. "Go!"

"No, we lost Zeke, I'm not—"

"Run!" Solas grabbed her and jerked her forward so hard that it jarred her teeth.

"Go!"

"Nyxon!" She wheeled but Solas grabbed her around the waist. Nyxon's eyes met hers for a long moment as Solas lifted her off her feet and then he dipped his head and turned to face the coming battle. She shrieked and fought against Solas's hold. "Let me go! No! We can't leave him here! We can't!" Tears blinded her.

"Unless you have another outpouring of energy, there's nothing you can do. You'll die with him." 

She felt no burning, overpowering magic rising inside of her. Just when she needed it. A sob caught in her throat, "We can't..."

He faced her forward and pushed with his tied hands. _Wait! Nyxon still has the necklace._ She tried to turn around and collided with Solas. She thought it was because he was stopping her, but when she pulled back, he was stock still, staring ahead of them. "How?" He actually looked startled and she wheeled, spotting more ogres ahead of them on the trail. Fuire was running back towards them.

"We're cut off!"

"There must be a broodmother in the area." Tenner came running after him.

"There's no way they got ahead of us." Solas stated, jaw slack.

"Yes there is." Ethylia sighed and bowed her head. "One of our battalions has been fighting day and night on the east side of the mountain. If they're coming up this path...it means the darkspawn overwhelmed the battalion or they were forced to retreat to the village."

"We have to move!" Fuire gasped.

"There's nowhere to run!" Mirah sounded shaken as she grabbed onto Tenner.

"Use your magic!" Fuire whirled her to face him. "Do it! Burn them all to the ground, stop them, something, do whatever you did to stop Solas!"

"I can't!"

"We'll die!"

"I can't!" She screamed. "I don't know how!"

"Release me." She barely heard Solas's voice against the screams of the approaching darkspawn. She heard Nyxon begin fighting, a wild battle cry filling the air, echoing across the river. She turned to him, looking up at him. "Release me." He said it again.

"Why? You could get those ropes off in two seconds if you wanted!" She stepped closer. "Tell me I'm wrong!"

He narrowed his eyes.

"We can't let him go!" Fuire latched onto her shoulder, squeezing hard enough to bruise.

"I'll stop them." Solas sounded perfectly calm, as if there wasn't a horde of darkspawn and ogres racing their way at full speed, ready to demolish them all.

"One mage can do nothing!" Fuire insisted, still clutching her shoulder.

"They're almost here."

"He'll kill us, too!"

Ethylia met his gaze and looked back to Solas. Her mind was reeling, screaming, heart pounding. 

"Decide." Solas told her quietly. "Decide or we all die."

"Fuck it!" She grabbed his wrists and sliced through the ropes and Solas lifted his hands. His eyes went bright, like a fierce light shining out of them and then everything went quiet. Everything. The only sound was her own heavy breathing, her own heart trying to tear out her chest. The others looked as bewildered as she did as she looked around at the mass of stones. 

The darkspawn looked like statues. Nothing more, nothing less. As though they'd been dark depictions of terror this whole time, as if they hadn't just been moving. She swallowed and looked back up at Solas as he lowered his hands.

She felt like she'd never known true fear until that very moment. Until she was standing face to face with an elvhen god that could end her without even blinking. Fighting the darkspawn offered a chance for survival, but fighting someone who could turn beings into stone?

A tremor went through her.

He started away from them and no one said a word. She didn't know if he'd just saved their lives, or if he'd just shown off his power. He weaved through the stones that were far too close for comfort, and continued down the path and she looked towards the others. "What do we do?" She asked. No one answered. They were as still as the now dead darkspawn. 

She gulped and somehow found her courage and turned towards Solas, "Why haven't you done that to us? You could escape at any moment? Why wait until now? Why not turn us into stone, too?"

"I told you." He turned around to face her, arms tucked behind his back. "I am not a monster. I do not wish to kill you or your companions simply for doing their jobs. I would have you all live in peace until my job is done."

She scowled, "Until you murder us all. Say it Solas. Claim it for what it is! Or are you scared it'll stop you from your mission?"

He tilted his head to the side, his brows knitted together, "I have no choice. I made a promise." 

"There's always a choice."

"Even if that were true, I made a promise to see my people free. This is not freedom. What has happened, what has become of my people," he sighed and his shoulders slumped as if he wasn't planning to destroy the world, but was instead carrying it. 

"I won't let you." She whispered.

"You cannot stop me."

"She did." They both knew what she was meant.

"She merely delayed the inevitable." Something moved to her left and she turned just as Fuire loosed a blade. It flew in a straight, powerful line for Solas and he moved one hand, flicking it sideways with a powerful sweep. 

"Dammit, Fuire!" Ethylia gasped as Solas glared at him, his eyes starting to go white with that bright light. "No, no, no!" She jumped in front of Fuire. "Please! You can't blame him for trying! Solas!" She didn't know why he stopped, hell she didn't know why she begged for Fuire's life, but his eyes dimmed all the same and faded to their usual color. No one was stone. Yet.

She was just about to speak again when she heard a soft whisper, "Ethylia?"

She turned and felt her entire world come crashing down. Tenner was standing on shaky feet as Fuire's dagger protruded from his stomach, blood seeping around the armor it'd penetrated. She couldn't gasp, couldn't cry, nothing but fear filled her and she bolted for him as Mirah screamed his name.


	23. Blackwall's Son

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethylia and company race against time to get Tenner to a healer.

"Tenner, I'm so sorry!" Fuire was crouched by his feet as Ethylia held him in her lap, clutching his hand. Nyxon deftly undid the straps of his armor and waited for Mirah's directive before he pulled the armor—and knife—free and she covered his wound immediately, using her magic to start healing him. 

"This isn't your fault." Ethylia told Fuire and glared at Solas. "Maybe you should stop using that kind of magic!" She hissed at him. "Isn't this exactly what you did to my mother? At least you didn't crush him with a rock!"

She saw him visibly flinch at her harsh words as Mirah attempted to heal Tenner's wound but Fuire was choking as tears filled his eyes. "Ethylia...I poisoned it."

She drew back and stared at him, her breath leaving her. "You what?"

"I'm so sorry, Tenner, I poisoned it." He covered his face as Mirah lifted her head to look at her.

"It's not healing. I'm still learning, I don't have the magic or the spells to stop this." She gasped.

"It's okay." Tenner squeezed Mirah's arm, his other hand still clutching Ethylia's.

"No, no it's not!" Ethylia gasped. She looked up but Solas refused to meet her gaze. She had a moment where she wondered if he'd help her if she asked him to, but he kept his head sharply away from her. If he was going to help, he would've offered, instead he looked away. She screamed in frustration before saying, "If we hurry maybe we can reach the village!"

"Through all the darkspawn?" Nyxon shook his head.

"We have to try." She struggled to get Tenner to his feet. Nyxon and Fuire took him from her, supporting his weight and she ripped off her jacket and pressed it into his stomach.

"We'll wrap it around and tie it." Mirah said quickly, doing as she said while Tenner groaned lightly. "If we can stave off the bleeding, maybe he'll last until we get there."

"Here." Nyxon shoved something into her hands. "Keep your eye on him." She looked down and spotted the necklace and closed her fist around it. They rushed forward, zigzagging through the statues of darkspawn. Ethylia pointed after them, casting a harsh look at Solas.

"I will follow with you," he began, "but when you reach the village, don't expect to keep me there." She hissed at him with all the frustration and fear she felt in her body and started after the others when his hand encircled her arm.

"Don't touch me!" She yanked away from him.

"I merely wanted to apologize."

"Right now?!" She demanded and motioned after the others. "My brother is dying! Save your apologies. Why do you keep killing everyone I love? My mother and now Tenner..."

He drew back at her accusation that poured out of her with a sob. "Your brother?"

"I told you, I'm half human!" She yelled as she raced away after the others. She didn't care if Solas followed or not. She didn't care anymore. Every second she'd been out here had been one bad idea of catastrophic proportions. Why couldn't this have all gone as smoothly as they'd hoped? Why had they lost Zeke? 

_Please don't die, Tenner._ She silently prayed as she ran with the others. 

 

.     .     .     .

 

The trek down the mountain was one of the hardest things she'd ever done. She must've cried for half of the journey, until her tears ceased to come, even as her eyes stung. She couldn't say when she'd drank water or ate food. She wasn't sure of anything except that Tenner was getting worse. Still, they carried him onwards. As darkness fell, they kept going through the night.

They ran into a few darkspawn here and there and it slowed them down, but the fires in the village were coming into sight now. "We're almost there, Tenner." Ethylia said quickly. Zathrael squeezed her hand and she looked over at him. 

"Soon." He assured her and helped her step down a rocky incline. 

She kept hold of his hand as they marched forward. Tenner had walked with his weight supported most of the way, but he was paler than she'd ever seen him, his skin moon white, no color to his lips, and he was shaking relentlessly. 

"At least the village hasn't been overrun just yet." Mirah said breathlessly. Her hair was draped on her head now, wet with sweat. She didn't imagine she looked much better. 

"There's time." Ethylia nodded. "We can still save him." One glance at Tenner made her question that statement. "Stay with us." He didn't respond to her. She was no longer certain he was lucid, though his eyes were open and he was still stepping along with Fuire and Nyxon. A little closer.

"Darkspawn!" They all looked up at the sound of the shout and spotted soldiers getting into formation. They were hard to make out in the darkness, but Ethylia realized they were creating a charging line, their swords up, ready to fight. Then they charged.

"Wait, wait!" Mirah gasped and threw up her hands, "We're not darkspawn!"

The soldiers slowed down and Ethylia sighed, feeling a sense of safety as they came into sight of the village and the soldiers. "Help! We need a healer!"

"Here!" Fuire followed her cry and lifted his arm, waving down the men. "He's been poisoned, he has a stomach wound."

"Let me help you, son," the soldier urged Fuire away and took over carrying Tenner. Another did the same, but when he saw Nyxon, he drew back, eyes wide.

"Warden Nyxon! Andraste's tits, that's Commander Rainier's son! Get him to a healer now!"

"Scout Ethylia?"

"Yes?" She could barely breathe as he grasped her forearm. 

"We've been waiting for you." He told her. "We're evacuating the people from the village. The darkspawn have broken through our lines. By morning we plan to have all the people out and then the soldiers will break camp."

"Thank you for the report." She released him and stumbled after Tenner.

"Milady?"

"Yes?" 

"You're needed with the commanders, they asked that you come immediately upon your arrival...if you arrived." She looked after Tenner, a feeling of helplessness filling her. "Milady, you have to, it's your duty."

She scowled at him and continued the rest of the way down the mountain path. The others were keeping up with Tenner, and she hated to change directions and go the other way. She was just shifting direction when a cold wind blew across her back and she turned back. Solas was staring at her, a short distance away.

"Tenner Rainier?" He questioned. She sighed and bowed her head. " _Blackwall's son?"_

"You were gone a long time, Solas,"

" _Blackwall?!_ " His voice rose with anger. "Is your _father_ is Blackwall?"

"Why? Do you want to take him from me, too?" She squared her shoulders and lifted her chin. "You pushed my mother under a rock—"

"It was an accident!" His voice broke.

"You plunged a knife in Tenner's stomach!"

"Ethylia!"

"Are you going to kill him, too? In a jealous fit over someone _you_ left behind?" She shook as she stood her ground against him, "My father is Thom Rainier and you...you're just the man that left my mother to cry alone at night. You're just the man that pushed her under a rock."

She turned and ran from him and though she was too dehydrated to cry, sobs wracked her whole body as she ran.


	24. I've Got You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethylia reports back to her commanders before spending some time with Zathrael.

“You’re back then? Where is the Dread Wolf?” 

Ethylia hadn’t even had time to speak before Commander Despaud started making demands. Except she wasn’t supposed to know why Ethylia had run up the mountain. No one but Thom, Cullen, and Leliana were supposed to know about her mission, and those that had gone with her, of course.

Her father wasn’t in here though. “Where is Commander Rainier?” She felt like she was going to collapse.

“The Free Forces of Ferelden are escorting the civilians out of the valley.” Cullen answered her as they all stared towards Despaud. 

Leliana approached her with a predator’s grace. “Who told you about that?”

“I have my own spies, Spy Master. You’ve been keeping secrets.”

“Who have you told?!” She countered with a new question.

Despaud just smiled, “Our empress has been informed of all necessary updates.” 

Leliana opened her mouth, fury in her expression, but Ethylia rushed to interrupt. “We don’t have time for that. Where is my father?”

“You’re a mess,” Cullen was at her side, she wasn’t even sure when he’d walked across the room, “sit down before you collapse. What happened?”

Too much. Everything. “Tenner is being taken to a healer, my father should know.” Her knees gave out and Cullen caught her, carrying her to the nearest chair and setting her in it. She covered her face, exhaustion tearing her down with every waking moment. “Here.” He offered her a canteen and she drank greedily.

“I’ll send word to Rainier.” Leliana said and disappeared for a minute. She returned just as Ethylia finished off the canteen. She wanted more but she didn’t ask for it.

“Where is the Dread Wolf?” Despaud demanded again.

She’d just seen him. He was here in the village. She didn’t know why she didn’t say that, she didn’t know why it mattered when he was the cause of so much pain in her life, “We left him on the mountain.”

“Asleep?” Leliana looked pleased, “It worked.”

“No.” Ethylia shook her head. “No, he’s awake and I think all of his strength has returned. He put down an entire horde of darkspawn with a flick of his eyes. We couldn’t trick him and we couldn’t hold him.”

“You lost the Dread Wolf?!”

“Stop.” Leliana warned Despaud. “What else happened up there?”

She was starting to regain her breath and the tiniest fraction of her composure. “Darkspawn. We barely…” she couldn’t even say they’d barely survived because not all of them had made it back. She laid her hand on Cullen’s shoulder. “Zeke didn’t make it.”

He looked down at the ground, sadness creeping into his features. “I’ll make a note of it.”

“Fuire will need your support more than anything.”

He pushed back up to his feet and took a few steps away, rubbing the back of his neck. “We have much to do. We have to evacuate everyone. The darkspawn broke past our eastern lines. It isn’t safe here anymore.”

“It was never safe here.” Ethylia said.

“When we reach safety we must discuss what to do about Solas.”

“You’ve done enough.” Despaud said. “It’s clear she cannot get the job done. I’ll write to the Empress and see what she wants to do.”

“You cannot do that.” Leliana said. “You’ll stir up a panic. People are already terrified of the impending Blight. Telling them that—”

“Are you going to stop me?” Despaud demanded. “I am here for Orlais, I work under direct order of Empress Celine. You cannot control me.” She stormed out the door and Ethylia was surprised to see Leliana smirk.

“I don’t need to stop you, I just need to stop your spies and messenger.” She turned to look at them. “My people will find her spies, I promise you that.” She walked out the door. Ethylia stared after her for a long time before she faced Cullen again. He looked lost and tired, but when he met her gaze, his expression filled with concern.

“How are you?”

“I think I’ll be okay.” She told him honestly.

“Did you meet him?”

She didn’t want to answer that. “Yes…”

“Are you okay?”

Her eyes stung as they struggled to make new tears but she still had yet to drink enough water. “I don’t know.”

He gave her a tight smile. “Commander Harding has been operating as Head Scout in your absence. I’ll let her know you’re here. Go rest while you can, we plan to have everyone moved by early morning.”

“Thank you.” She pushed to her feet. She didn’t go to rest, though, she went towards the healer’s tents. The walk took a bit longer than normal, she could barely lift her feet. The village was a bustle, people moving and walking and carrying everything they had on their back. Some of the civilians were crying as they left behind their homes and she thought of Solas.

He’d stopped a horde of them. Instantaneously. That kind of power…what if they could use him to help stop the Blight? He’d never do it, of course. He had his mission, but if there was a way to convince him to use it to help them…

She shook her head to dislodge those thoughts. She had to be crazy to think that. With everything he’d already caused and done. Yet he hadn’t. He hadn’t killed Zeke, Mirah and Zathrael’s explosive arrow had caused the ground to collapse. They’d attacked him multiple times, mercilessly, and he hadn’t killed them, he’d simply walked away. 

_He isn’t bad, Ethylia. Just remember that._

Her hand itched to pull her mother’s journal out of her pocket and search through it’s words. She started as she realized the journal wasn’t with her. It was in the jacket she’d wrapped around Tenner. She didn’t panic, but she felt a bit of unease not to have it with her.

It felt like it took a lifetime to reach the healer’s tent. It was large, with sides that rolled up to the top and were pinned there so people could freely come and go. One section was curtained off for the sick, but she could see straight in to where Tenner was. A healer was just backing away, leaving her father and Mirah at Tenner’s side while Fuire and Zathrael sat on the floor at the foot of his bed. She didn’t see Nyxon.

“Papa?” She called softly and he jerked his head away from Tenner to look at her. Thom didn’t release Tenner’s hand but he opened his arms for her and she hurried towards him, kneeling and wrapping her arms around him.

“You brought him home.” He whispered.

“Always.”

 

Ethylia sighed at the relief she had simply in feeling cleaner. New clothes, a bowl of fresh water that she’d used to the fullest extent of washing herself. She combed her fingers through her wet hair, reveling in it. She should have gone to bed and attempted to rest like Cullen had advised, but she hadn’t. 

Instead she’d found herself devouring as much food as the tavern keeper would give her and then going to find some water. It was good. She felt better for it and like she could actually settle down for a short nap before she started tearing down the village and helping people get out before the darkspawn arrived. 

“Well look whose back.” She glanced up at the three soldiers walking past her. She was on a stump outside of her tent, the bowl of water still in front of her. 

“Damn, I was hoping you’d get ate by darkspawn.”

“Pay up, bastard.” The third one smacked him in the arm.

She rolled her eyes and ignored them. She’d seen them one time too many in the tavern with Fuire. The middle man had a broken nose from Tenner months ago, it was still crooked and noticeable. 

“Heard your brother was in the ground.”

“He’s with the healer.” She muttered.

“Next bet, will he live or die?” 

“You’re on!”

She looked up, curling her lip. “Is this all a game to you?” She demanded and stood. “People are dying out here every day—”

“Oh, and we’re very concerned, but you’re not people.”

“Hey!” Someone shoved between them and the three of them wheeled before smiling as they saw Fuire. He was glaring hard and she sighed as she realized old habits died hard. She couldn’t even relax without Fuire trying to start a new fight. 

“Hey, buddy! We thought you were on the mountain fighting darkspawn?”

“I just got back.” He replied and glanced at her before he started forward. Ethylia stood up and clenched her fists, but right before he reached her, he turned and planted himself firmly in front of her. “Keep moving and leave her and her brother out of your bets.”

“Fuire,” one of them laughed and started forward.

“Now!” He barked so loud it must’ve woken half the camp but they pulled back, staring before scowling and walking off.

Ethylia released a breath, feeling the tension ease out of her a little as he turned back around, “Thank you, I didn’t know you cared.”

“I don’t.” He snapped, but then his voice softened a little. He looked away from her like he refused to let her see the vulnerability in his eyes, but he grabbed her bandaged hand. “You held onto the sharp end of a hook, slipping towards your death, and still refused to let go of Zeke with your other hand.” He took her other one and held it up next to the bandaged one. Then he dropped them both. “I hate you. I hate what you are. But I think Zeke was right. I think you’re special. For some fucked up reason or the Maker’s will or whatever. When we get out of here, I’m going to help you bring Solas into custody again.”

“You’re a liability Fuire, you tried to kill him and got Tenner hurt.”

“I know, and I’ll make up for it. I swear it. I’ll follow your lead from now on when we’re out there.” He hissed like he was frustrated and walked away, “Tell anyone I said that and I’ll cut your throat.”

She laughed and was joined by another. She frowned and turned to spot Zathrael, “I’ll just not tell him I overheard, shall I?”

“That would be wise.” She laughed again and he crept closer.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you laugh.”

“Well, let’s face it, there wasn’t much to laugh about out there.”

“True,” he cupped her cheek, staring into her eyes. She needed to sleep. They only had so much time before they’d be leaving this place, but having him so close, the weight of the world dog piling on her shoulders…

“Stay with me tonight?” She whispered.

He searched her gaze, she didn’t know what he was looking for, but then he asked, “Are you sure? It’s been a long day…or something.”

“If you’re too tired…?” She backed away towards her tent and his eyes went wide.

“No.” He said quickly. “I mean,” he glanced around and then back to the tent.

“What are you afraid of?”

“Your father.”

She chuckled, “Everything we just went through out there and you’re scared of an old soldier?” She pulled back the flap of her tent, “Come on.” He bit his lip and a slow grin spread across his face before he started forward. He pulled his bow and quiver off as he entered and set them on the floor carefully so the arrows didn’t fall out.

“Okay—” she grabbed him as he was turning and pressed her lips to his, the warmth of his body flat against hers. He kissed her back ravenously, burying his hands in her hair as she pushed him down to the floor. She straddled him as they kissed, his hands peeling back the layers of her clothes and she wanted to feel every inch of him. She wanted to forget the world, for just one moment, and pretend that nothing was wrong in her life.

“I’ve got you.” He whispered as he held her. 

“Don’t let me go.”

“I won’t.” He nuzzled her neck and he didn’t. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her closer to him as he buried his face in her hair, kissing lightly. He was a lithe man, a surprising amount of power rested in his hold, in the strength as he held her close and she let the world fade as he whispered sweetly in her ear, “I’ve got you.”  
She pried his shirt away from him bit by bit, his skin hot and warm against hers, feeding the fire that burned inside of her. She could feel the length of him pressed up against her, waiting to be inside her and she lifted her legs, hooking them around his hips as his mouth found hers again. 

His fingers laced with hers and she tipped her head back to look at his hand above their heads. The way they were laced almost delicately, but the way he held onto her hand like she’d disappear if he let go. It made her heart flutter in a way that made her believe they could be so much more than a few stolen kisses and a night of passion.

“What are you thinking about?” She asked him and his lips left her neck as he met her gaze. 

“That we could’ve died out there. That you have been the most amazing leader we could’ve asked for. You give so much of yourself to everyone around you, even when they don’t deserve it, even if it puts your life at risk. You were hanging from the sharp end of a hook and you still didn’t let Zeke fall. You held him until he chose to let go.” He lifted her hand that was laced with his and pulled it to his lips, kissing her knuckles. “When you see this scar on your hand, I know you’ll think of Zeke and how you failed him, but when I see it, I will think of your bravery, and his. You both made the choice to die. He chose to let go, you chose not to let go even though he would’ve drug you down with him. He just managed to die first.”

“Smooth talker.” She laughed only because it was laugh or cry. He smiled warmly and kissed her again and she dug her fingers into his hair.

Lips still on hers, he murmured, “I know what to say to get me laid.”

She scoffed and smacked his arm and he laughed and kissed her again. “You were getting laid before those words.” He just moaned softly against her lips and she sighed, closing her eyes as he flexed his hips and slid into her. She gasped and tightened her hold in his hair, closing her eyes as he filled her, clinging to him as he moved against her, with her, in her.  


His mouth was hot on hers and that fire that had been burning deep within her roared to life. She moved her hips with him, and as he’d promised, he didn’t let her go, he continued to hold her. She felt her breathing coming harder and faster, her body tightening as her toes started to curl. She dug her heels into his rump, trying to push him deeper and he thrust harder and she cried out, giggling as she tried not to scream.

Zathrael bit his lip, his forehead pressed to hers and she pulled his lips back to hers, crying out into his mouth as she came, lightening skyrocketing through her body. When she threw her head back, he kept his lips on hers, swallowing up her cries until he gasped and joined her, groaning as his pleasure swept through them, their chests heaving, his arms still wrapped around her like he could hold her forever.


	25. Here Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethylia accidentally finds herself with Solas in the Fade yet again.

"Here again I see."

"No, no, no!" Ethylia slammed her hands over her eyes. "No! I don't want to be here!" She opened them and found the Fade still around her. "This isn't funny, Solas!"

"Again, don't blame me. I didn't do it. You did." 

"You always look like you want to laugh at me." She crossed her arms. He stared, the corners of his mouth twitching. "Oh, Maker, don't you dare-" he started chuckling and she covered her face again. "I want out of your dream, Solas!"

"There must be a reason you keep coming back to me."

Oh there was, there were so many. Including her building desire to puzzle out her mother's words. She lowered her hands and studied him, watching for a long moment before she said, "Why did my mother insist you weren't a villain?"

His expression fell, "I can see why some would see me in such a light."

"Stop doing that." 

"Doing what?"

"Sounding so understanding of the world, of it's people, like you feel bad that you're going to rip them out of their lives."

"But I do feel...guilty." He bowed his head.

"Then why do you do it? Why do you insist...?" She drifted off as he gave her his back.

"You have a lot of conviction about who your mother was, but you barely knew her."

"I knew her long enough."

"What you know of her is stories of a great and powerful woman, you don't know the truths." He waved his hand through the air and Ethylia froze as her mother appeared. A vision in his dream as she called out to him. She watched, stuck in place, as Solas himself appeared in the vision of his dream, embracing her. "You didn't know everything about your mother, maybe you don't know everything about me."

The vision dissipated just as her mother's lips touched Solas's and he walked away. Ethylia swallowed and tried to calm her heart. "What if I wanted to know?"

He paused. Seconds ticked by, measured by her pulse, by her breathing, by her blinks. Slowly, he turned around, "What do you want to know."

"You would tell me?"

He smiled just a hint, "Maybe."

"Why did you leave her?"

"I was lost when the orb broke. I only intended to stay until we'd dealt with Corypheus. I always planned to leave."

"With the orb, but it was broken. You didn't have to go."

"Funny, you sound like her."

"So you've told me."

"I didn't mean your voice, I meant your words."

"Answer me then."

He considered her for a moment, hands still folded behind his back. Then he spoke, "I had a duty to my people. I still do. She'd just saved the world. How could I involve her in taking away everything she just fought to save?" Her heart hurt to hear him say that, to hear him admit that he was planning to destroy it all. It was exactly what her mother had written in the journal, the explanation he'd given her. "Answer me one. Blackwall?"

She scoffed and shook her head, "I'm not answering that."

"Really, of all people, she had to pick that grizzly-"

"Hey." She cut him off, but not as roughly as she could have. He sealed his lips politely and continued to stand there. "Where are you now?"

"In the Fade, with you."

"No, I mean, where are you sleeping?"

"On the ground." She narrowed her eyes and he narrowed his back. "It would be counterproductive for me to tell you." She rolled her eyes and walked away a short distance before she walked back and he was ready with his next question. "Is your brother okay?" It caught her off guard.

"Why do you care?"

"I told-"

"Enough with the 'I told you I'm not a monster' lessons. I get it. You think you're not."

"And you think I am?"

"I..." She frowned. "I...uh...you want to hurt people."

"I want to restore people."

"Why didn't you hurt us when we attacked you? I mean, you could have killed us?"

"The answer starts with 'I told you' so I think I'll pass on that question."

She sighed and sat down on a boulder that was lingering in the dream. "Are we just going to keep rehashing these same things?"

"Only if you keep asking the same inane questions."

She jerked her head to look up at him. She could be perfectly content in her sleep, nestled in Zathrael's arms, but no. She had to be here while she slept. This was her one chance to get some sleep before the next day's stresses took over. "How do you live like this?"

"Pardon?"

"Being awake while you dream? It doesn't keep your brain so busy that you exhaust yourself?"

"Sometimes. Most nights I find I am fully rested. Particularly when I've been asleep for twenty one years." He paused and she didn't even twitch. "Twenty five?"

"You're fishing for details."

"It was worth a shot since you seem intent on not telling me exactly how long I was in the uthenera."

She gave him a light smile and tilted her head in a girlish fashion, "A woman must keep her secrets."

He scowled and started walking and she wasn't sure why but she scrambled after him. Maybe it was because she finally had him talking, maybe it was some sort of curiosity to know more about him, or why her mother had fallen so far into his spider's web that she couldn't break out.

"Who are you really? Solas or Fen'Harel?"

"Easy, I am both. Are you not both Ethylia, daughter of..." he cleared his throat and passed the name, "and Scout Ethylia?"

"So you're an asshole and an arrogant prick?"

"If being determined to carry out one's duty makes him such, then yes."

"At least we agree."

"Your mother thought so, too."

"Don't tease me with such charming words."

She couldn't see his face but she had the feeling he was smirking as he said, "There was one day, I was in the rotunda at Skyhold and she walked in. She sat on the edge of my desk as I was doing research. She asked if it was going well and I told her 'I've only gotten as far as the location of _mor'masa._ "

"What does that mean?"

"It's a crude elvish word for...well...ass."

"What?"

"She was sitting on my papers and I couldn't read them." He was hiding a smile as he turned. "That's when she called me an ass." His tone suggested neither of them had been serious about the insult. "After that she tried to arrange them and I tried to tell her what order to put them in and the rest followed with arrogant prick."

"What a lovely story," she passed by him, trying not to grin. Not many people got to see her mother cut loose and just be herself, they always saw her as Inquisitor, a figure of inspiration, aspiration, and authority. Ethylia couldn't claim to see that side of her mother's mind, but she had seen her playful side with her own eyes as she chased her through the field, tickling her and tossing her in the air when she caught her. 

"That's beautiful." Solas's voice was soft and she wheeled, unexpectedly choking on tears as she caught sight of the memory she'd accidentally unleashed in here. Her and her mother were running, laughing, giggling. As soon as she laid eyes on it, it faded out and she was left crying.

"How did I do that?"

"The Fade feeds on memories. Your mother's first walk with me here, we walked through Haven long after it was ruined. I reminded her of how she sealed the Breach. She challenged my point of view because, you see, memories play out how you remember them, not necessarily how they happened. That's why dreaming in the Fade can be tricky. Visiting memories that are biased to the beholder. That memory you just shared with me...I'm touched. Truly."

She wiped the tears off her face, "It's my favorite memory with her. When she wasn't so serious, wasn't working. We spent the whole day outside, picking wildflowers, eating the berries that grew by the river. No one interrupted us that day."

He was close now, inches away, "You are so much like your mother." His voice was haggard. "She, too, was as fierce as the demons she fought, but she cared deeply. She wanted to help everyone. That's why you keep questioning me. Deep down, you want to help me, too. You don't wish to kill me just as she didn't wish to see me harmed. You have a heart of gold."

"You could help us, you know? You could fight the darkspawn. I saw you turn fifty of them into stone. You could do that, you could save us and spare so many lives." He sighed softly and that sad look returned to his eyes. She felt something shift in the air and she knew he was leaving her again. "You can't yell and wake me up this time."

"I think you can figure it out." He set his hand on her shoulder just before he disappeared.

Her heart hurt as she stared at the emptiness around her, and then she rolled over and woke up.


	26. Lavellan: Diamondback

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gathering herbs with companions can be interesting, especially for Lavellan ;P

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posts! I was on vacation!

"Solas," Dorian's voice travelled across the short expanse of land that separated them and Lavellan peered around the tree she was behind. Solas turned to look at him and Dorian continued, "I wondered if you might indulge me a little?"

"How so?"

"I had some questions." He said and Solas looked a little uncertain but motioned to Dorian to continue. She glanced at Blackwall, surprised they would try talking at all. It rarely happened. Solas had little appreciation for Tevinter's keeping of slaves. "I take it you study spirits?"

"I do." Solas replied matter-of-fact and resumed picking elfroot. She knelt down, doing the same, still partially concealed behind her tree and Blackwall crept closer to her.

"I give them one minute." His gruff voice said in her ear.

"I would hate to take that bet." Mostly because she thought he was right. If they were talking with the group, they could be reasonable with each other, but more often than not they ended with snide remarks to each other.

Dorian began again, "Back in my homeland we keep spirits as servants."

"So I have been told." She heard a hint of a sigh at the end of his sentence and she rolled her lips together.

"The things they can be made to do are quite marvelous. You should see them."

"The Tevinter Imperium is not the safest place for an elf." Lavellan sighed and shook her head as Solas's tone became standoffish.

"Ah, yes, point taken." Dorian murmured. "I do want you to know I respect your abilities. You're quite accomplished at everything you do."

"Being accomplished is simply a matter of learning. Anyone can do it, if they try hard enough."

"I agree."

They both fell silent and Lavellan glanced at Blackwall again as she finished plucking up some elfroot. "That didn't go terribly." She said softly.

He smiled and stood up, too, walking around the corner of the tree, "I think you go beyond learning, Solas. You take it as an art form and try to master it."

"What do you mean?" She asked as Solas gave him just a hint of a smile as he caught Blackwall's eye. That look that said he had a secret.

Blackwall glanced back at her and said, "Don't ever play Diamondback with Solas. I taught him the game a few nights back. He turned around and beat me at it!" She laughed and watched Solas for confirmation, but he just did that almost-there-but-not-quite smirk. "I'm not joking, you've been warned." Blackwall told her, "I had to walk back to the stables with nothing but a bucket for my bits."

She laughed harder and Dorian joined her as Solas finally cracked a short smile and then said, "You wanted to play with stakes."

"I didn't know I'd be walking back with my ass out."

"At least you had the bucket."

"Aye." He sounded like he was still in disbelief days later. Lavellan was still laughing as she wrapped her arms around Solas's waist. He set his hand on her back. As the laughter died down, Dorian and Blackwall moved along, searching for elfroot and she tipped her head back to look up at him.

"That was amusing." 

"More so to witness." He met her gaze, "Not that I have any desires to see Blackwall without his clothes, but the price was his to pay."

She chuckled, "I see he's still wearing his clothes now."

"I took pity on him the next morning and delivered them back to him. Besides, they wouldn't fit me much." She laughed and clung onto him all the more as he started walking after the others. The forest around them was calm and quiet today, a perfect day for gathering herbs. They had every available person doing it. With the impending attack on Adamant coming, they would need all the medical supplies they could get.

She considered Solas, playing a game of Diamondback with Blackwall, but they spoke about it as a recent matter. "When did you go play Diamondback?"

"Pardon?"

"I was just wondering seeing as you've been with me every night." She tilted her head back and smiled and he stopped walking, causing her to halt. Heat seared his gaze and she felt his hands brush against her hips, sliding up to her waist. Things were finally looking up again, or as much as they could. They had a battle coming, they all knew it, but everyone was trying to be happy. It was a strange cheer in the air that came before the storm.

Men and women living out what could be their last moments. It was a sort of celebration in it's own way, their last chance to do what they wanted to do. She prayed none of them lost their lives, but she knew it was illogical to believe that none of them would.

Spending each night with Solas kept her out of some of the celebrations, but it also kept her away from the drink. He'd been right, she was starting to use it to block out the grief that plagued her, but staying in his arms was a better replacement and it slowly pushed away her grief, bit by bit.

Solas licked his lips and replied, "It was a few nights back, after you fell asleep. I had not yet eaten when I went upstairs with you so I headed for the kitchens. Blackwall invited me to play. It was nice learning something new."

"And here I thought I was the only thing capturing your attention."

"You certainly do, but when I can't be with you I must turn to other trades." She laughed at his sigh of resignation before he said, "I enjoy Blackwall's company."

"He is a good man." She agreed. "He cares about us." He looked out for them all, too. Whether in battle or back at Skyhold. He spent a lot of time with Sera, a surprising friendship had sprung up between them, and he didn't let a single soul call her names or lash out at her for any of her pranks. He'd politely escorted Josephine around the towers of Skyhold a few times and weekly walked the ramparts with Cullen where she was certain they exchanged promises on keeping her safe. 

He watched Cassandra's back in battle, too. She was possibly the best warrior they had, but because of that, she immediately became the biggest target and Blackwall was essential in keeping her from being overwhelmed by a massive horde of other warriors. Everyone they had was essential to the Inquisition and they were important to her.

"If you keep looking at me like that," Solas's voice was low and husky, "I just might have to carry you deeper into the woods, away from prying eyes." He cupped her cheek, thumb stroking her skin softly.

"Promises, promises," she teased but his words had her heart stirring, her stomach doing little flips of apprehension.

"Are you two coming or are you going to stare longingly into each other's eyes all day?" Dorian called from somewhere up ahead.

Lavellan blushed and ducked her head, but when she looked back at Solas, the fire in his eyes hadn't changed and he brought her lips to his, crushing her against him fervently. She kissed him back, fisting her hands in his shirt. As his arms closed in around her, she thought he was going to make good on that promise, but then he broke the kiss, breath rushing in and out of him.

"Come, let us catch up." He sounded somewhat irritated that he wasn't taking her into the woods and out of sight, but he took her hand. She sighed and followed him, her body aching for him now. She couldn't wait to get her hands on him again.


	27. Keep Running

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evacuations are interrupted by darkspawn

Ethylia pressed her lips to Zathrael to wake him. It was shortly before dawn and they needed to move out, she'd already wasted enough time flipping through the pages of her mother's journal. She was no longer certain of what she was looking for, none of the words inside of it had changed. She supposed it was she that was changing, trying to figure out where her head and her heart stood against Solas.

He'd cost them a lot up there, but at the same time, none of it had really been his fault. She couldn't be blind to the fact that he was bent on ripping down the Veil, but neither could she ignore the fact that she believed he could help them. He could help stop the Blight, she was certain of it.

Zathrael moaned softly in his sleep before he came awake slowly, his arms tightening around her.

"Good morning." She murmured against his lips and he kissed her back before he laid his cheek against hers.

"Good morning. Is it time?"

"It's time." She snuggled back for a minute longer before she disentangled herself from him and dressed. He followed suit at a groggy pace before strapping his quiver on and walking outside. She rolled up her bedding and exited. There was a very light hint of sun in the east as Zathrael stretched and began pulling down their tent. She helped him and by the time they were done, some of their neighbors were out doing the same. 

She could still see a few wagons with civilians leading the way moving down the only well-worn path in this rocky valley. Too slow, they should've already been gone. The commanders should've packed up and left when she left for the Mountain Pass. 

"Did you hear that?" Zathrael was stuffing the tent into a pack as he tilted his head, pointed ears listening intently.

"I didn't hear-"

"Ethylia, Zathrael," Fuire was running towards them. "Hurry, grab your things. The darkspawn have made it to the valley, the battalion is gone. We just got word from Commander-I mean Scout-whatever she is, Harding. They're mass evacuating right now, there's a small line at the mountain path, but the darkspawn don't seem to be slowed by it."

"Well, shit." Zathrael ran his hand through his hair.

She looked up at Fuire, the urgency of the situation not stopping her from asking, "Did you get any sleep at all?"

"I couldn't sleep so I went to help on the line. Harding sent me this way to inform the commanders." Screams erupted in the village and it sent chills up her spine.

"Shit, come on," she was in midstride when Fuire's hand wrapped around her arm. "We have to help." She faced him with a frown as he stopped her.

"Not this time. They're sending us ahead."

"What?"

"They want me to get you out of here. Tenner was sent ahead with one of the wagons, Mirah's with him. That leaves us three."

More screams echoed through the valley and her pulse raced. She wanted to go and help, but then Zathrael grabbed her arm. "I'm all for keeping her out of that." He wheeled her.

"Hey! I can take care of myself."

"We're well aware but let's not tempt fate." She glowered at him. Just because they'd slept together didn't mean he could stop her from plunging into danger. It was kind of her job. "What about Nyxon?" 

"He's with the wardens." Fuire pushed her shoulder just a bit to encourage her to leave.

"So he can fight but we can't?" She demanded.

"Our job is more important than fighting darkspawn!" He snapped. "We have wardens for that, we have us for Solas, now go!"

She scowled but carried on. Fuire called warnings to the other as he went, telling them to pack with haste and clear out, that Harding had a line of soldiers holding the darkspawn back but their defensive line wouldn't hold for long. He directed them all to head for the other side of the valley. At his words, some didn't even bother with their tents, they abandoned it and bolted for the opposite side of the valley.

They scrambled past tents and over rocks, the terrain was rough and hard. It didn't make for easy travel. Anyone with a horse had to stay on the road or risk their animal stumbling and breaking a leg. Luckily they'd already gotten the livestock out yesterday or they would have been forced to leave the poor beasts.

They weren't far out of the village when she looked back. Parts of the village was going up in flames, soldiers were running headlong into the field behind her, a few civilians, and darkspawn weren't far behind. She could see them now, and a line of soldiers slowly retreating as they fought tooth and nail against the rising horde.

"That's Harding's troops." Fuire was looking back too. "They're on the retreat." They were attempting to hold a line to keep the darkspawn from advancing, but it was futile, they were catching up all too quickly. As people realized how close the darkspawn were, they screamed and ran faster, leaving their belongings behind so it wouldn't slow them. "Shit. The darkspawn weren't supposed to catch up this fast. Harding said she'd buy us at least half an hour if she could."

"Key word there," Zathrael muttered, " _if she could._ "

"Where's my father?" Ethylia asked, his extra men could've really helped Harding out.

"Wherever the other commanders are. They weren't on the frontline."

"There," Zathrael pointed and her heart jolted, but he wasn't pointing out her father. "The Grey Wardens. They're still alive. Nyxon is with them."

The Grey Wardens were bunched around a darkspawn that appeared larger than the others. She thought it might've been an alpha, a darkspawn smarter, stronger, and scarier than the rest. If they could knock that one out of the battle, the others wouldn't have a leader to direct them.

Fuire faced forward, "Move faster!" He shouted and people started running across the rocky terrain. Anyone on the road made haste, hurrying to get out of the valley. Ethylia heard a scream and risked a look back. Some darkspawn were flooding past Harding's soldiers, catching up to the tail end of the civilians riding out on the road. Damn it, why hadn't they evacuated sooner like she told them!

She wheeled and ran back before her companions could stop her, making a diagonal streak towards the road as a small group of darkspawn caught up to the civilians desperately fleeing. "Keep running!" She gasped to them as she unsheathed her throwing knife and tossed it. It landed between the eyes of a darkspawn that had drug a man to the ground. He rose up, terrified but uninjured. "Go, go!"

"Thank you!" He ran past her and swept a little girl up into his arms and kept going.

" _Maker's balls,_ you couldn't keep running?!" Fuire hissed at her as he reached her, stopping to brace for a fight as more darkspawn ran after the civilians coming directly at her.

"You want to leave these people to die?" She demanded as an arrow zipped past her head, saving a little girl from attack.

"We'll talk about it later." Zathrael shouted as he loosed another arrow and she sprang at a darkspawn. Two humans and a dwarf ran by her as she cut the creature down. Fuire hefted his sword and ended several with a few well-placed blows. 

"This way!" Ethylia shouted, lifting an arm in the air to signal to the people fleeing. Several more darkspawn surged past Harding and her troops who were retreating at a faster pace now. They were being overwhelmed now and the last few civilians were barely fleeing ahead of them. "Keep running!" More people and a couple soldiers went streaming past her.

"The damn soldiers could help us instead of running." Fuire grumbled.

"You can run if you want." She stated. 

"Not a chance." He countered and swung his sword so hard he knocked the head clean off a darkspawn. "Look, more ogres. There has to be a broodmother in this area. I've never heard of so many ogres being together at once." 

"Run! This way, come on!" Ethylia spotted a mother running with a baby in her arms, three darkspawn giving heavy chase. Harding's line of soldiers were almost to them.

"Got it." Zathrael called and shot in quick succession, knocking back all the darkspawn and the woman went running past them. "I say we move back now, let the soldiers keep their line." He grabbed her elbow and tugged.

She searched the village, looking hard for any signs of life but it was mostly swamped with darkspawn now. There were way more than she'd ever expected to come pouring down off the mountain. No wonder Harding's soldiers couldn't keep them back any longer. The line was in a steady retreat, fighting and running in succession. It was either that or die.

Even the wardens were in retreat, letting the darkspawn gain the ground. They couldn't afford many Grey Warden deaths, there just weren't enough of them left in the world and they knew it. They had to be strategic and strike when an archdemon was found. If they lost all the wardens there would no one to kill the archdemon and the Blight would finally take over.

"Okay," she finally agreed with Zathrael. " We'll stay ahead of them and help whatever civilians we can. Let's go." The three of them turned and ran, keeping ahead of the line of footmen and fighting off any darkspawn that got past their ranks.


	28. If He Knew The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethylia and company reach the safety on the other side of the valley. Cullen and Thom have a plan to keep the darkspawn from following, but in the midst of evacuations, something goes wrong and some of our heroes may fall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Quick note from me! Sorry I have not been posting quite as much. TImes are busy! I will get at least one chapter in each week, and if I can, continue multiple times a week as I have been. I hope you guys are enjoying the story!

"You made it." Thom grabbed her and pulled her to him. They'd been running across the stretch of field, helping civilians and fighting darkspawn before making it to the other side of the valley. It wasn't quite as tall as the mountain on the opposite end, but it was still a hard, steady upward climb. The trails were much more worn, easier to use, and a lot wider. It was quick, easy crossing.

"There are stories of you pouring in with every person that arrives." Cullen grasped her forearm and then Fuire's and Zathrael's. 

"Stories?"

"About how you're helping everyone," Thom told her, "you saved lives." 

"Did Tenner make it out okay?"

"Yeah, he's up ahead."

"Keep going," Cullen added, "once Harding and her people come through, we're closing this pass."

"Closing?" Fuire frowned.

"Some of our mages are going to ignite the mountain," he pointed upwards, "bring all the rocks down and seal this pass. If anything it'll be harder for the darkspawn to get through."

"We'll keep moving then." Fuire said. "I've seen enough explosions and falling rocks in my lifetime." His face was haunted and she grabbed his hand as images of Zeke falling flashed through her mind.

"Me, too." She faced them again, "Do I need to ask if Mirah is still with Tenner?"

"She's with him." Thom nodded, "Hasn't left his side."

She smiled and motioned to the others and carried onwards. A few civilians were still hurrying forward and she offered to help one with the packs he was dragging with him. "Thank you, thank you." He sighed with relief, but she could barely get the pack off the ground.

"What in Andraste's name is in here?"

"Everything." He stood up straighter but his eyes drifted behind them, "Everything I could put in there."

His eyes misted and she felt bad for asking. Fuire saved her the heartbreak as he dashed forward, "Let me grab that."

"Look at you being helpful. I didn't know you had it in you." She said as he took the sac from the gentleman. Even he was having a hard time moving it. She frowned and let go, looking around. "Hey, Zathrael, can you take this? I'm going to go search for a horse." They didn't have time to drag his stuff when the darkspawn were closing in, a horse would be a lot quicker.

"Sure." He grabbed it and she hurried ahead, looking for anyone that still had an animal. The simpler task would be to ask the man to take some stuff out, but this was all he had left, she wasn't going to make him dump it here. Just a little farther and they'd have the pass collapsed and hopefully it wouldn't matter. The man could carry onward without darkspawn on his ass. 

As she moved ahead, she finally found a wagon with a mule. It was stacked, some items looked like they were a mere bump from falling off, but it would work. There didn't appear to be anyone with it and it was pulled out of the way, close to the rocky wall. 

"Excuse me? Who's manning this wagon?" She looked around, there were a couple soldiers close enough to hear her and they just shrugged and kept walking. She pursed her lips, thinking for a moment. She could wait for Fuire and Zathrael to catch up, or go back and tell them she had a wagon but risk someone moving it while she ran back. Maybe flag a soldier and have them wait with the wagon. She walked towards it, glancing around, but no one was around it at all. She frowned, perhaps someone had abandoned it over fear of the darkspawn. 

She turned back to face the soldiers, prepared to ask them more about the wagon when a hand wrapped around her mouth and yanked backwards and she stumbled. "Shh!"

Hard muscle pressed against her back, arms securing her in place until they were back against the wagon, on the side of it and out of sight, and the hand fell away. "Stop doing that!" Ethylia hissed and whirled around. "What are you doing here?!" Her heart was suddenly in her throat. "If you're trying to get yourself killed, grabbing someone who's been fighting darkspawn nonstop is a way to get a blade in your chest."

Solas looked pleased, "I never left." He looked down at himself, "And it seems there's no blade in me."

"Why the hell haven't you left? You should've been clear out of the valley and halfway across Thedas by now."

"I stuck with the travelers. I thought they might need the aid."

"You don't make any sense, you know that?" She cocked an eyebrow at him, trying to settle her jolting heart again. Her mind was racing but she was starting to focus as she stood between the wagon and the wall of rock, Solas facing her with a smirk. "You stop to help people and yet..." she didn't want to say it anymore. It'd already been said. "You don't have to tear it down. You could stay and help us instead."

"I am helping."

"That's not what I meant." She scowled and he actually looked contrite. "Why are you here?"

"I wanted to see your father. I didn't know Cullen was here as well. Are they...well?"

"They're going to be pissed if they see you."

He cocked an eyebrow, "Are you concerned?"

"What?" She blinked as she realized what she'd said. She was concerned.

"Why not turn me in? Isn't that your mission?"

"Why did you drag me back here if you were staying out of sight? Do you want me to turn you in?"

"I..." he closed his mouth for a moment before he said, "I enjoyed our talk last night."

"Fuck the talk, go back there and stop all those darkspawn. We're going to cause a rockslide to block off this valley to slow the darkspawn. You could stop them right now."

"That's not how this works."

"You need to recharge your mana? I doubt that." He pressed his lips together, brow furrowing now so she said, "What? You don't like it when someone reasons with you?"

"I appreciate your logic but—"

"No buts! We need your help!" She grabbed onto his arm, eyes pleading, begging. He had the power to help them all if only he'd use it for them instead of insisting on tearing down the Veil. He didn't have to kill them all, he could save them.

"Hey, let's get this wagon out of here." A soldier peeked around the corner at them. "Family squabbles can happen later. Get moving."

He walked away and when she looked back at Solas, his cheeks were tinged with red, alarm in his eyes, but the soldier walked away without a second glance. She sighed, "My mother told me a lot about you. Story after story of everything she did with the Inquisition. You were always there with her, encouraging her to help people. From widows to the elderly, to small children, you didn't discriminate against anyone in need. Hell, you even kept her alive when the Mark first appeared on her hand and almost killed her. Where is that person? Why did he leave?"

"I'm still here?"

"Because you say you're the Dread Wolf and Solas? I'm sorry, but I don't see it. I wanted to. I wanted to see the man my mother described. You told her once that the Dread Wolf inspired fear in your enemies and hope in your friends. We're not your enemies, why would you destroy us?" His face visibly paled at her words and his jaw went a little slack, but she prevented him from speaking, "You're more than capable of inspiring hope in all of us, you could help us all, why would you want to rip it all apart? You know what? Don't even answer. If you want a head start, leave now, I have people to help and protect."

She pushed off the wagon and walked around the corner just as a soldier came barreling down the center path. "Hurry! Get out of the pass. The mages are ready and the darkspawn are closing in. Move now! Move your wagon, elf!"

She rolled her eyes but looked back for the others. She spotted them, they were almost to the wagon. She saw Thom helping an injured soldier, there didn't seem to be anymore civilians left in the pass, just Harding's soldiers as they scrambled to get through before the darkspawn caught up. She looked over her shoulder and spotted Solas walking away, a hood drawn up over his head. She sighed, if only he'd listen.

She didn't know why she tried so hard. Some part of her wanted him to be the good, kind man her mother spoke about in her journal. She frowned and looked down, feeling the edge of it in her pocket. There were some blood stains on the journal now from being wrapped up in her jacket as it was used to stave off Tenner's wound, but it was otherwise perfect.

A thought crossed her mind, startling in it's suddenness and she froze as she considered it. Could she do that? What if she did? Would Solas help them fight the darkspawn if he knew the truth? She'd been fighting the beasts for days and the most hope she'd ever had against them wasn't with a Grey Warden, it had been when Solas froze them all with a blink. 

Not to mention they didn't have enough Grey Wardens left alive to continue fighting against the masses of darkspawn streaming after them across the rocky plains. Their best chance lied with the man that planned to kill them all... _not if I have anything to say about it._

She looked after Solas again before she turned and ran after him. "Wait!" She grabbed his shoulder. "What if I told you I had something of hers? A journal in which she wrote down all of her memories, would you stay?" His brow pulled together, she didn't know if he believed her so she drug it out of her pocket. "This means everything to me. It's everything she wanted me to know about her life, about you. She always told me to believe in who you were. Prove it to me."

"I have nothing to prove to you, Ethylia. You were her daughter, she moved on. I have a duty to my people. I have to—"

"You have a duty to your family!" She snapped. "She never moved on from you!" The truth leapt from her lips before she could stop herself but she hoped it changed something. She didn't know why it was so important to her but she was lying to herself if she said it wasn't. She'd spent the last several days with him hoping to make him realize how insane his plan was, that he didn't have to destroy anything or anyone. She wanted to see the man her mother always believed in. She wanted to see her father, to see a good man that made her proud of who she was.

It was her blood that set him free. Maybe it was her blood that would save them all. If he knew, maybe he wouldn't carry out his plan, maybe it would change something—anything. The strength of her emotions were so powerful that she shook as she stood before him, waiting on him to offer life or death to the world.

Solas stared at her, lips parted as he sucked in a deep breath, a slight tremble going through him. He searched her gaze and his voice shook, "What are you saying?" 

She opened her mouth to lay it all out in the open, to tell him the truth, when someone grabbed her. "Come on, we have to run, they just sent up the signal arrow, anyone left in the pass is going to be dead in a minute." Solas stepped back all too late as she glanced up at Thom, but his eyes were on Solas. _"You."_

"Come on!" Fuire grabbed onto them. "This place is about to come down... _shit._ " He froze, eyes on Solas.

"I should pull your guts out through your fucking nose." Thom glared at him, grabbing onto his shirt. She was surprised Solas let him, just standing there with that look that said he understood every bit of Thom's reaction.

Fuire shook his head as if trying to dislodge his own emotions. "Come on!" Fuire jerked on Blackwall's shoulder. When had he become the voice of reason? "We have to go now!"

"Please, we have to run!" Ethylia urged as a noise cracked overhead. It sent a wave of stark terror cascading through her as she realized they'd dallied one second too long. They should've already been running for safety instead of standing here waiting to get crushed by the rocks.

"Run!" Zathrael barreled into her with the civilian's packs they'd been carrying. Someone had grabbed the mule and was leading it far and away, out of the danger zone, but they were all still here.

"Go!" Ethylia shouted. Zathrael cursed and picked her up. 

"Fine, you stay here and die, we're going." He started sprinting as she gasped his name, screaming indignantly until she saw rocks start to slide above them.

"Let me run!" She shrieked and he set her on her feet and grabbed her hand. The others were running after them. Soldiers were motioning to them from a distance away and she looked back once more to see darkspawn filling the other side of the trail. Just in time for rocks to come sliding down onto their heads.

She cursed and ran faster, harder, her legs straining, the others just behind her. The ground shook so hard with the impact that it made her stumble and dust rose into the air all around them, blanketing them. She couldn't see anything but Zathrael's hand was still in hers and then they both went down as thunder roared through the air, rocks pelting their skin and she clung to Zathrael, face buried against his chest.

It felt like an eternity of terror consumed her mind before it slowly passed into silence. The sudden quiet made her ears ring and she lifted her head but she couldn't see anything as she slowly climbed to her feet. Neither of them were hurt but what about the others? The dust was so thick in the air that she started coughing and wheezing until Zathrael pulled her against him again, letting her hide her face in his jacket. It helped, but her eyes stung, it felt like dirt coated her throat. 

"Are you okay?" He murmured, lips brushing her ear.

"Yes. The others?" She lifted her head again, the dust was clearing and Fuire came staggering into them, grabbing onto them.

"You're okay?" He actually sounded concerned and Zathrael gave him a deep nod.

"Seem to be." He was panting for breath, looking around. Rocks and boulders filled the pass that had just been behind them, obliterating the darkspawn's chance of crossing...for now. She didn't imagine they'd sit idle, they'd find a way pass it eventually.

Zathrael's hand slipped under her chin, tilting her head back as he searched her face, his eyes soft before he pressed his lips to hers and she sighed, leaning into him. She felt safe right here, with him holding her as her adrenaline eased, her heart rate quit pounding so hard. She wanted to wake up nestled in his embrace like she had this morning, before the mad dash to safety had began. 

"You're okay." He said against her lips.

"So are you." She met his gaze.

"I find myself worrying about you more and more. This needs to stop lest you drive me mad."

She almost smirked up at him, "Hazard of my job." He snorted but didn't get to speak as Fuire started talking again.

"Maker's balls, that was close." Fuire tipped his chin back, staring up at the rock wall. Small rocks littered the ground by their feet, some as big as her hand. They could've been crushed under that pile if that hadn't moved when they had.

"Father?" She started to turn to look for him but Fuire grabbed onto her.

"Next time you want to run when we tell you to run? You almost got us crushed!"

"Sorry," she said earnestly and the anger in his eyes fizzled out. He nodded, satisfied before shouting erupted and she turned, spotting Thom and Solas in a stand-off. Cullen was marching towards them. 

"Sweet Maker, they're going to tear each other apart." She started towards them, Zathrael on her shoulder until Fuire pulled her back.

"Maybe we should let them. They're our commanders. We were going to bring him straight to them anyways, right? Let them decide his fate. This is it! This is what we've been waiting for."

"Do tell how you expect them to decide his fate when he can turn fifty darkspawn into stone without moving?" She questioned hurried after Zathrael.

Fuire was right on her heels, "Then we help them control him. We help them find a way."

"Papa!" She shouted, "Solas! Please, stop! Wait," she hurried towards them just as Zathrael ran between them.

"I think we can absolve this much more simply." He began, holding his hands out to each side. Thom had his sword in his hand, glaring at Solas who simply stood there. Cullen was furious as he reached them.

"How did you even get here?" Thom demanded.

"I walked." Solas said simply.

"Point of fact you ran the last minute." Thom countered. "I think we deserve some answers, some sort of explanation."

"What is there to explain? You locked me in the deep sleep."

"You gave us little choice!" Cullen hissed.

"Papa, please," She had to get between them before someone made the first blow. One blink and Solas could end her father and Cullen, friends she wasn't ready to lose yet, Zathrael... The ground groaned underneath her as she walked their way and she froze in mid step. Fuire was still right on her heels, bumping into her back as soon as she stopped, but his hand wrapped around her arm, his eyes going wide.

The groan was loud enough to stop everyone and all eyes were on them as she and Fuire cautiously looked down. Her heart threatened to leave her body as she spotted a tiny hint of a crack spreading out underneath her foot, bits of gravel spilling through it and falling Maker knew how far into the earth below her. 

Her breath caught in her throat, fear threatening to choke her while Fuire's fingers gripped her tighter and tighter by the second. "Zathrael?" She barely whispered his name as she looked up. She didn't know why she called to him before anyone else, but as she lifted her eyes to his, she saw her terror mirrored there. He had one hand reached out towards her, but no one had moved. He was too far to grab her anyways.

"Don't move, Ethylia." He told her. "Maker's breath, don't move." She moved only her eyes, he was staring at her, hands up as if bidding her not to move, then back down to the crack that was steadily growing bigger under her foot. Fuire was squeezing her arm so tight that it was cutting off the circulation, it was going to leave bruises, but she didn't even care as her heart hammered through her chest.

"Hold on, I can help you." Solas spoke up and there was a spark of relief and hope in Thom's eyes as he swallowed.

"Don't move, Solas will help you." Thom told her, his voice shaking. She'd never seen this much fear in his eyes in her entire life.

Solas nodded and opened his mouth, "Just—" she didn't get to hear his next words as the ground groaned again and dropped.


	29. Kill Me, Please

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethylia and Fuire find their selves trapped in a cave with enemies
> 
>  
> 
> Trigger Warning (and slight spoiler about WHAT is in the cave):  
> As those of us who play the game know, darkspawn rape the women they take. This chapter contains mentions of and fear of rape, but to put your mind's at ease, Ethylia is not harmed like this. I just wanted to give everyone fair warning on what to expect in this chapter.

Ethylia pushed up on her hands, she hurt everywhere as she lifted her head and spotted Fuire. She wasn't sure how he got in front of her on the hard, rocky ground, his arms splayed out. "Fuire?" It hurt to crawl but she crawled towards him and grabbed his arm, giving him a light shake. "Please don't be dead, please don't be dead."

He moaned and picked up his head but it flopped back down almost immediately. She glanced around, moving only her eyes as he tried to speak, "I'm...really tired...of cliffs and mountains."

Ethylia sighed and rested her forehead against his arm, glad he was alive, relieved to be alive herself. "I think we're in a cave." She looked around without moving again. She could hear shouting above them by so many different voices that she couldn't distinguish any of them. She didn't remember the impact, just falling. Her last clear thought was Solas telling to hold still, that he could help her, her father and Zathrael staring at her with wide eyed fear as the ground gave way under her feet.

She lifted herself slowly, she must've been unconscious for a short time, everyone above still sounded like they were in a state of panic. She sat back, her movement's tedious, pain wracking her body. She lifted her shirt and found a mass of bruising already forming and lowered it. Fuire tried to move and gasped and she leaned over him. He slid his leg out from under him, a streak of blood in it's wake. "I think I landed on my grappling hook."

Her hand twinged in sympathy. He pushed up, trembling and shaking as he did so, and sat to the side. Sure enough, the grappling hook was covered in blood on the floor. "At least it's useful in battle." She murmured and looked up. 

Everyone was calling down to them, but she couldn't see anyone, just a hole far above her head with bits of sand and gravel still crumbling into it here and there. One of the small rocks pelted her leg and she shifted, gazing upwards again. This time she caught a shadow of movement against the glaring hole that cast light down into the cave. The figure was yelling down at them as he leaned over, looking in, but the light up above was so bright she couldn't tell who. She was having a hard time registering his voice, her ears were ringing, her head throbbing.

"That's farther than my hook can reach." Fuire tilted his head back, squinting against the light.

"Maker, I hurt." She clutched at her ribs, holding them. 

_"Ethylia, Fuire!?"_

She tried to shield her eyes against the light but it hurt to lift her arm. She recognized Zathrael's voice, though, as he grew louder, more urgent. Her ears were still ringing as she called out, "We're okay!" Then added quieter, "I think." She didn't feel okay, everything was starting to hurt with a screaming demand, it even hurt to call up to Zathrael.

"Not so sure I'm okay. I feel like I've been split open." Fuire mumbled next to her, wincing as he shifted his legs.

"We're going to get you out." She thought she heard him calling to the others that they were both alive but injured. 

"Careful where you step up there. There's a big chasm down here, we're in some sort of cave." She warned and then grimaced, clenching her fists and curling into herself. "It hurts." A tear pricked at her eye as the pain threatened to overwhelm her. Fuire squeezed her hand, burying his face against her shoulder for a moment as he struggled to breathe.

"We'll be careful." Zathrael turned and she couldn't make out what he was saying but he must've been warning everyone else to watch their step. She lowered her head into her hands, holding it for a moment. Her chin must've taken a hard impact because it was starting to ache all the way up into her head, reverberating through her skull. 

"I feel like I can't breathe."

"You're wheezing." She whispered and he held her hand tighter. She could still feel him trembling.

Zathrael poked his head over the edge again, but before he spoke, she heard something in the cave and attempted to twist around but pain shot through her and she groaned. She couldn't turn to look so tapped him lightly and said, "Fuire, I hear something."

"Ugh," he lifted his head and she nearly jumped out her skin when he shouted, "run, run, back up!" He started scrambling and it kicked her into fight or flight mode and she was fleeing before her brain could even register her fear. It was hard and awkward to move and she didn't get far before something grabbed her and she screamed as a darkspawn rolled her over. 

"Fuire!"

"Help! Zathrael! Help us!" He lunged forward and managed to sink his sword into the beast's gut. He stumbled backwards, trying to yank it free when more flooded around them. "Zathrael!"

"Zathrael!" She echoed his shriek, but her voice sounded foreign, even to her, a wildly desperate tone entering it as they didn't attack her, but instead tried to grab her and hold her. She screamed louder, "Papa!" Tears clouded her vision.

"Don't let them take us!" Fuire was crying again and again until he was hoarse, but his voice was getting muffled under the mass of them. Ethylia couldn't see anymore as they hovered around her so close they blotted out the sun, then they started dragging her away.

She wasn't sure how long she screamed, trying to fight them, but they drug her away, inch by inch. In the back of her mind, terror threatened to consume her. _Women taken by darkspawn aren't killed._ She fought harder and screamed some more, but it didn't work, they didn't slow, their twisted, contorted hands were all over her as they drug her through the caves until she realized she was better off conserving her strength.

She caught glimpses of Fuire as they drug him along ahead of her and her mind recounted the stories she'd heard of darkspawn, of what happened during the Blight. Men were eaten, bit by bit, slowly. Women were force fed darkspawn, bit by... her stomach revolted at the thought and tears streaked down her face of their own accord. And there were worse things than that awaiting her.

She looked back but there was no sight of the cave they'd fallen into. There were so many twists and turns even if she and Fuire escaped she didn't know how they'd get back before more darkspawn found them wandering the caves. For that matter, she didn't know how the others would find them, it wouldn't even be safe to try.

She was undeniably lost down here and that terrified her.

The cave they traveled through opened up into a large chasm, light from some sort of red crystal filling the air. It made everything around it glow and a smell unlike any other struck her nostrils. She gagged on the smell of putrid flesh before she was finally released, tossed aside almost carelessly. She screamed and barely had time to land before she felt them on her, grotesque hands pulling at her.

A roar quickly followed and she cowered towards the floor as the darkspawn abruptly scrambled back. Another roar sent them scampering away through several different tunnels and she was shaking as she looked up and spotted Fuire reaching for her. He grabbed her hand and crawled and she followed blindly until they were against a wall, trying to wedge their selves against an outcropping of rock.

Tears flowed silent but freely down her cheeks as she pressed against the stone wall. She dared to look out at the cave, just as something moved at the entrance of one of the tunnels. She shook with terror as the darkspawn entered. It was taller than the others had been, better equipped with both armor and weapons as it strolled, almost casually, through the cave. 

Something shivered nearby and she glanced at it, her heart lurching as she spotted a teenaged boy. She stared as he cowed in the corner, but something was wrong, black leaked from his eyes and mouth, his skin was blotchy with bite marks all up and down his arms. 

She said nothing, did nothing, as they waited on the darkspawn to pass and it did, slowly, but surely. The moment it was gone, Fuire pressed his forehead against her shoulder. "That was an alpha wasn't it?" He whispered.

"Yes...there's a ghoul in here."

"What?" He yanked his head up and spotted it across from them, hiding just as they were. Her mind was reeling with everything she knew about darkspawn. Alphas were bigger, stronger, and smarter. Darkspawn often killed each other when they weren't working in unison and she thought that might be why the others had run when they heard the alpha coming, they were scared he was going to eat them. If the alpha hadn't scared them away...

"I thought that was it." She kept her voice low but there was a lump in her throat, "When they threw me on the ground, I thought they were..." she closed her eyes. She wanted to be anywhere but here. _Anywhere._ Women weren't cannibalized like men who were taken, they were raped, force fed the darkspawn, changed.

"It's moving." Fuire pulled back from her, staring over her shoulder as he reached for his sword, but it was gone, he'd dropped it in the first chasm when they'd been overwhelmed. She passed him one of her extra daggers and turned to face the ghoul. It was creeping closer.

"Careful, they'll eat you, too." She whispered.

"Maker, he's just a boy. How did this happen? How did he end up here?"

"The darkspawn," they both flinched back as the boy spoke, his voice strangely high pitched, but cracked like he was hoarse. "They raided our village. They took people."

"For the love of Andraste," Fuire stepped back into her, "it's talking."

"When?" Ethylia asked, terrified as the creature crept closer. She didn't want to kill something that looked like a boy, even if he was a sickly boy. There was no coming back from the taint as far as she knew. He looked nearly dead anyways.

He didn't stop talking, "They run from the alpha when it comes near. He eats everything. Even us. Except you."

She quivered as he pointed at her and Fuire pressed his hands over his ears. "Make it stop, I can't hear this, I don't want to hear this."

"She'll eat you first." The boy told Fuire.

"No, no, no."

It was creeping closer so Ethylia lifted her dagger, "Stay away, Ghoul, or I'll kill you." It cowered backwards.

"They're coming back for you." Just as he said, she could hear them coming through the caves. "They'll make us watch what they do. Then they'll come back for you. We'll watch. You'll eat us. They'll come back for you again. They're coming now. They'll come back for you."

"Fuire?" She could hear them coming, getting closer. They were going to turn her into one of them, they were going to bruatlize her until she went insane, until she ate Fuire and any other person they placed in front of her, until she was a darkspawn, of sorts, tainted and changed beyond recognition. She pulled his hands away from his ears. "Kill me, please, kill me." She shoved her dagger into his hand. "Please?!" She sobbed.

"I can't—"

"You know what they'll do to me!" She sobbed quietly, grabbing onto his wrists and dragging the knife to rest over her heart. "Please!"

His eyes went wide and he looked green, like he might vomit. "I'm sorry." He apologized, resignation in his eyes. She'd have never guessed in a million years that she'd beg Fuire to kill her and that he'd hesitate to do it.

"Come on!" She screamed at him and he tightened his grip on the knife. 

"I'm so sorry," he pulled back his arm to strike and the ghoul shrieked and ran forward.

"No!" Ethylia screamed as it tackled him.

"Don't kill. Eat! Eat! Eat!"

Ethylia dove for the creature, struggling to pry it away from Fuire. She was far too injured to fight properly and it shoved her back before she got a better hold and started to pull it away. Then they came. They flooded the cavern and her heart jumped into her throat.

"Fuire! Kill me! Please!" They yanked her away from Fuire and the ghoul, still wrestling on the floor. He couldn't reach her quick enough! She scrabbled at one of her throwing knives but there were too many darkspawn swamping her, she couldn't move, couldn't fight. Horror filled her to the core as her mind grappled with what was going to happen, trying to disconnect from her own body.

Green magic burst out of her, without warning, without any feeling of it happening whatsoever, it was just there, exploding outwards and rocking through the caves. She didn't even feel it happen, but she knew it came from her and the darkspawn crumbled into heaps on the floor, some of them screaming as they writhed with pain, twitching as they died.

She stared, heaving for breath as she looked back at Fuire. He was pushing the ghoul off of him, eyes still wide. Then the world dimmed and she felt her knees give out as she collapsed.


	30. Until We Find You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After using her magic again, Ethylia seeks out help while unconscious in the Fade.

"Solas?"

"I'm here." 

She closed her eyes and sighed heavily. The moment she'd collapsed in the darkspawn cave and fallen unconscious, she'd ventured here. This time with a strange intent and purpose. She chose to be here, to bring herself to the Fade. It was the first time she'd really felt any sort of control in coming to the Fade and she came to search for Solas, a desperate plea for help, and possibly her only chance.

She'd been calling for what felt like hours now, hoping he'd show up. At the sound of his voice, she turned and found him, standing stiffly, his arms out at his sides, all his weight on one foot. He seemed hesitant, waiting.

"Where are you?"

"Looking for you." He sounded strained, "Are you okay?"

"We're hurt, we need you...please?"

"I'm coming." He told her softly and walked closer. Concern brimmed in his eyes. "We could hear your voice for a long time, but we couldn't find it. I thought I could try to use the Fade to explore the caves, so I went back so I could dream safely. I find you waiting on me."

Tears fought to get free but she held them in, "Don't leave me here."

"I won't. I swear." He grabbed her hand and she clutched it. 

"I used my magic. I killed a lot of them."

He nodded, "Good, do it again if you have to."

"I don't know how, what if...I can't?"

"You will. When you need it to, it'll come. Focus on it, make it come to you when you need it."

"Uncle Dorian already tried to teach me how to use it. I never could."

"Dorian never played with this kind of magic. You forget who I am. I am the reason this magic lives within you. When you reach for it, you must feel it in your soul, you must know that it is an orb waiting to be unlocked, you have to unleash it. Open your mind and it will rush out. You do it when you come here and you don't even realize it."

"I'm using it now?"

"Yes." He said firmly. "How did you come here today?"

She frowned, "I was unconscious,"

"That's not enough, you sought me out. How did you do it?"

"I guess I willed it to happen. I just went walking. I knew I needed help and I just reached for the Fade and went walking."

"Reach for it, Ethylia. It's not like other magic, ready to be used, you have to force it, you have to open it. It's locked inside you but you are also the key." He nodded again, squeezing her hands between his. "We cannot keep talking. It's not safe for you to be left like this, you have to wake up." She sniffled and wiped at her nose, but he wasn't done. "Ethylia?"

"Yes?"

"I have to know," he bit his lip, but she knew what he wanted to ask, "what were you telling me before all this happened?"

"I think you know what I was saying."

"You told me Blackwall was your father."

"He is. He raised me, but you Solas, you're my blood father."

She never would've dreamed she'd be standing here telling Solas that. Ever. A mixture of emotions rippled across his face, dancing through his eyes. "She never told me."

"You left. She found out shortly after Corypheus."

"She didn't tell anybody, why did she hide it?"

"She didn't wish to compromise her position as Inquisitor...and later...because of you."

"Me?"

"Fen'Harel. How would the world see the child of an elvhen god and the Herald of Andraste, the Maker's Chosen?"

"I am not a god."

"No, but still the elvish religions count you as one and her point remains, especially when you made it known to the world that you were going to tear down the Veil. Your name was soured after that, it would've placed me in danger from your enemies. What would you have done?"

"When put that way..." he bowed his head. "I'm so sorry, for everything I've caused." He studied her, pain in his eyes, expression contrite, and then he pulled her forward slowly, almost like he expected her to disappear, and kissed the top of her head. "I want you to know I would have searched the darkspawn caves for you, even before I knew this. The good you do in the world, the way that you help people, that kind of light deserves to live. You deserve to live."

"Thank you."

"Stay alive until we find you." He gripped her hands. "Go, you must wake up now."

She nodded, hating to leave this place where she felt safe, even though it was only an illusion. Then she reached for some invisible surface inside her mind, imagined herself coming up to it and blinked open her eyes.

She was in Fuire's arms, surrounded by darkness. She could see the whites of his eyes, feel his heart hammering against her side. He looked strained as he struggled to carry her. "Hey," she whispered softly and he nearly dropped her just from flinching. "You can set me down."

"Ethylia, thank the Maker," he stooped and set her down, "it was getting harder and harder to carry you, even when I took breaks."

"Where are we?" Her mind felt sharp though her body felt like it was on fire now that she was awake. 

"I didn't think it was safe to stay there, but these caves aren't exactly safe either. If a darkspawn is coming down the tunnel I have to rush backwards until I find a decent spot to hide and hope I don't stumble into one as I flee from the first." 

"The others are coming for us."

"No they're not."

"Yes, they are." She told him. "I spoke to Solas in the Fade."

"How did...you know what, never mind. Everything around you is too damn weird to bother asking questions anymore." He faced forward and then glanced at her again, "I'm glad you're awake. I was really freaked out wandering around in here alone."

She gave him a tight lipped smile and then started crawling forward. "I think we should find a place to try and hide out until the others find us, we don't want to get too far from where they're looking."

"Look, you were unconscious for at least an hour if not more, we need to consider finding an exit."

"Do you want to go deeper into the caves, maybe we're in the Deep Roads? Do you want to go there and find more Darkspawn?" 

"Not really, no." 

She gave a curt nod. "We'll find a place to hide."

"I hate this."

"Me too."

Still, their slow, crawling pace took time. Her limbs ached, she was certain some of her ribs were massively broken or shattered from her fall, her face was sore. Even her hipbones ached. She felt like an old woman. Several times they heard darkspawn and had to either hurry ahead or turn and run back until they found a new tunnel. 

Eventually they found an open cavern with minimal signs of darkspawn and plenty of junk to hide under. It looked like a crude crafting area where they discarded unused armor and tried to make better armor, and they settled in to wait, hiding in a back corner.

As the night-or day-wore on, the darkspawn thickened, they were riled and she didn't know if it was the soldiers searching the caves or all the dead ones she and Fuire had left behind that had them up in arms. 

It was hard to say until they heard distinct human voices shouting and calling. She looked at Fuire as more darkspawn went running by their hideout. This was it, they had to go, find the soldiers they could hear yelling or never be found.

"Let's go." She whispered and he nodded and led the way.


	31. The Alpha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Close to being rescued, Ethylia and Fuire just might have to face down the darkspawn alpha

"We can barely fight," Fuire reminded her as they hurried down the tunnel towards the sounds of fighting. He was gripping the dagger she'd thrust into his hands earlier, so she pulled out a couple throwing knives, braced for anything. 

"We fight anyways," she told him as they rounded a bend in the tunnel and drew up short. Dozens of darkspawn were dogpiling on the soldiers, but it looked like it was only from this side and from a second tunnel. The soldiers' backs were clear-for now.

"Hit them from behind. I like it." Fuire muttered and sprang forward without any direction from her. Her breath caught in her throat but she tossed her first dagger and felled one right before he reached the group and stabbed one through the back of the skull. They didn't even notice the darkspawn falling behind their backs as he continued stabbing and tossing them aside while she threw knife after knife.

When she was almost out, she ran forward and pulled free her previously thrown daggers and ran back to safety. They worked at it with the small squad of soldiers on the other side until all the darkspawn were down and she put her hand against the wall, heaving for breath as the soldiers stared across the pile of bodies at them.

Fuire was sinking to his knees, brow covered in sweat, face pale. She thought she was going to faint. Her body ached, she couldn't breathe. The soldiers began sheathing their weapons and they came forward. 

"We've been looking for you two."

She let one of them help her back up and they pulled Fuire to his feet. She clung to the soldier that offered his shoulder and didn't say a word as one of them said, "We have the tunnels marked so we can find our way out. We'll have you safe in no time." 

She took one meager step when a roar bellowed up the tunnel and her eyes went wide. One look from Fuire told her he was thinking the same thing she was. "The alpha!" She gasped. "Run, run!" She urged the soldiers but they didn't move as they pointed.

"That's the path we came from."

"Then run somewhere else!"

"We'll get lost!"

"Fuck this!" Fuire shoved off the shoulder and sprinted back down the tunnel they'd come from. Ethylia puzzled the sanity in that before she released the soldier and followed. The moment she bolted, they panicked and streamed after her and Fuire. When she reached their hiding place from earlier, they all dove inside and sunk down amongst the rabble, peeking out precariously.

The alpha was coming. She could still hear it. It kept roaring and shrieking before a haunting voice came slithering out of it, "You here, I smell." Her eyes went wide. She'd heard stories that some darkspawn of higher intelligence held limited speech, but to hear it with her own ears...and the knowledge it presented.

"Shit." Fuire was shivering against her and she looked over at him to see blood all over his hand.

"Fuire?"

He looked up at her, blood on his lips, "I'm not going to make it. I'm bleeding. On the inside." He tapped his chest. The fall must've done it. Truthfully she couldn't even be sure if she wasn't bleeding on the inside with how much pain reverberated through her body.

"Hold on, we're almost free." She begged softly before the alpha roared again. They all ducked, cowering as the alpha filled the doorway. It roared again and charged. "Stay down!" She pushed Fuire closer to the floor as the soldiers sprang into action.

"Fuck, there's more shrieks behind it!" One of the soldiers screamed as something barreled past the alpha and landed on the poor man that shouted. Ethylia lifted her knife and threw and he pushed it off, climbing back up just as more swamped in. One swipe from the alpha sent several soldiers down and it picked one up and screamed before opening it's jaws wide.

"No!"

She wasn't even sure who screamed or if it was everyone, but too late the beast clamped down on the soldier's head, crushing his skull. It tossed him aside carelessly as more darkspawn came pouring in. They worked quickly, strangely efficient in their group efforts as they slowly started disarming the soldiers, men and women, and dragging them out of the cave.

Ethylia felt terror clawing it's way up her back as she realized it was happening all over again, they were going to be taken again, dragged back after they'd come this far. Fuire was screaming that they weren't taking him again, even as several darkspawn grabbed a hold of him and she just stood there, trying to rationalize it, trying to remember what Solas said.

Reach for it. Reach for her power. She could end this, she could stop them.

"Ethylia!" Fuire latched onto her arm as several darkspawn started pulling both of them towards the doorway, several soldiers were crying out just as loud, fear and terror on their faces. "Use your magic! Come on! Don't let them take us back!"

"I'm trying!" She gasped but she couldn't find it, she reached and it wasn't there. Panic consumed her. "I'm trying!" Why wasn't it working? It had to work! They'd be lost all over again. It was a miracle they'd gotten this far but if they were dragged all the way back Fuire had no chance of surviving even if they escaped again. He'd never get to a healer in time even if they made it out of the caves.

"Do it!" He started coughing up more blood, the darkspawn didn't even seem to care. She felt a blast of cold air whip through the tunnel with powerful force and the roars and grunts of the darkspawn abruptly ceased. Ethylia felt her eyes go wide as their hands began to turn cold against her skin and light crackles filled the air as they began to solidify. As one they screamed with pain or panic and as one they went utterly silent and still.

She stared at the couple that were holding onto her, but they were nothing but stone now. She turned her head, still trapped in their hold as she tried to look back. "Solas!" He was just behind them, hand spread out in front of him, his eyes like a bright light.

"Hold on, we'll free you!" Someone shouted just over Solas's shoulder and several people hurried forward. She knew that voice, though, and she knew the man walking towards her with purpose.

"Nyxon!"

He reached her, a hammer in hand and he set a spike against the hand of the darkspawn and hammered it hard. The spike drove through it and broke off the pieces of hand that held her and she almost collapsed, but the other one still had her in it's frozen grip. He did the same and caught her as her knees gave out.

He passed the hammer and spike to a soldier who did the same for Fuire and carried on while Nyxon helped her stand. "Okay?" He asked her.

"Why are you here?" She questioned, looking up at him.

"Fighting darkspawn is what I do best." His voice was still gruff but she looked over her shoulder at Solas who was still standing where he had been a moment ago.

"I meant, why are you with him?"

"Because he came to save you."

"I didn't know you cared."

"After everything we've been through? When they demanded volunteers to search for you and Fuire..." he drifted off as Fuire wobbled to them and gripped his shoulder. 

"Thank you." 

Nyxon smiled, actually smiled, and set his hand on each of their shoulders. "You have my respect surviving down here so long. I sense no taint in either of you. Let's get you out of here. Solas has been quite useful in navigating these catacombs and also useful at freezing the darkspawn in place-forever."

With one of them on each side, he walked them back to Solas and Ethylia released him to stand in front of Solas. Nyxon continued on with Fuire and she just stared, looking deep into the eyes of her father. It was the first time she'd felt like she'd faced him, not as a woman bent on bringing him into custody or to put him back in his deep sleep, but as his daughter. It felt different now. 

"You kept your promise." Her voice was husky as she tried to speak.

"We're not out of here yet."

"I have faith."

That slight tug of his lips suggesting a hint of a smile passed across his face again. "It's been a long time since anyone had any faith in me." He lifted his hand hesitantly before he dropped it to his side. She didn't know why, but that was just unacceptable to her so she grabbed him and pulled him into a hug. 

"Please get me out of here now."

"I will." He held her to him like he didn't want to let her go, but he did, almost slowly with a look on his face that said he couldn't believe this was real. He swallowed and lifted his chin higher before he offered her his shoulder and she leaned into him gratefully, knowing the walk out would be agonizing, but at least she felt safe with him at her side.


	32. Lavellan: Sacrificial Nug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lavellan and companions explore the Western Approach and Solas manages to steal some time alone with her

“Stop!” Arms wrapped around her waist and yanked her back just as flames shot skywards. Lavellan’s eyes went wide as she cringed away from the heat.

“Bastards!” She hissed but she flashed a smile back at Solas, his arms still wrapped around her middle. “Thanks!” She pulled out of his grasp and ran across the singed ground. She loved her own mages to death but she was sick of fighting other mages and having fire shoot up out of the earth unexpectedly. They’d singed off part of Dorian’s mustache once already and he’d had to repair it with magic. 

“Take down that warrior!” She heard the shout as she sprinted and spotted several warriors closing in around Cassandra.

“Varric!” Lavellan called and pointed. He saluted her and turned Bianca’s wrath on them while she slipped into stealth mode, sneaking up behind. She dove in head first, attacking and slashing in quick succession, flanking them as their focus was on Cassandra. 

As the last one fell, she reached for her, grasping her forearm in fellowship as Cassandra said, “Thank you. When they closed ranks around me it got a little difficult.”

“We’ve got your back, Seeker.” Varric said as he came striding after them.

Lavellan brushed her hands down her sides, wiping her daggers clean on her fallen foes’ clothes before she tucked them into their sheathes. “Why is it that everywhere we turn we find more people to fight?” 

“Because we’re at war?” Varric chuckled as he was checking Bianca over.

She scoffed, “We find them in every corner of the land. They’re like spiders hiding in every nook and cranny.” She shivered at the image she created herself.

“It’d probably help,” Solas began, “if we weren’t running headlong into every corner they were hiding in.”

“Chuckles has a point. What was it you said? We have to hurry and find the Venatori?”

“Well, I didn’t plan on so many trying to stop us along the way. Come on, let’s keep going while we can.” 

Solas glanced at the sky, “Are you sure? It’s getting close to sundown.”

“We’re not going to talk to that dragon lore scholar again are we?” Cassandra asked.

“We’ll be going the opposite direction.”

She sighed with aggravation, “Good.”

Varric grinned, “You don’t like him, Seeker?”

“He talks too much like someone else I know.” She shot him a sharp look.

Varric grabbed at his chest, “You wound me.”

“I’m sure he’s just lonely,” Solas said, “being out here alone all the time.”

“No one to talk to but his horse.” Varric added. “When the animal starts talking back, he’s been here too long.”

Lavellan laughed but couldn’t help but notice the darkening sky and the area around them. As Solas had pointed out, the sun was almost down. “You know, this might not be a bad place to set up camp.”

“We’ll be able to see anything coming from a few miles away from here, as well.” Cassandra nodded, “Let’s do it.” They pulled together and had a camp set up in no time at all.

“You know,” Varric began as Solas set to work on a fire. Mages were incredibly useful with that sort of thing. She was starting to hate anytime she needed to build a fire without a mage around. “This place wouldn’t be half bad if it wasn’t for all the sand.” He was shaking out his foot, one boot in his hand.

“And the sun.” Solas said over the flames that were just starting to spark.

“And the heat.” Lavellan added. The three of them turned to Cassandra as she was prying off some of her armor and she glanced at them and then made a disgusted noise. Lavellan laughed and rolled out a mat to sit on at the fire. They’d learned it was useful to carry them out here in the Western Approach. If you didn’t put it under your bedroll at night you were sure to have sand in every place you didn’t want it.

“Nug soup anyone?” Varric set a pot down so they could get dinner going, dumping some water in but Lavellan didn’t miss the glare Cassandra was giving her.

“What?”

“I still can’t believe you killed that poor thing.”

“What?” She said again and scoffed, “It was either that or starve. We had no food left.”

“But it was so cute and pink.”

“Don’t tell Iron Bull.”

“Oh I will tell him.”

“No you won’t!” She hissed back and they both started laughing. “It’s not my proudest moment, okay?”

Varric rubbed his stomach, “Just be grateful for a full belly, Seeker. Our dear Inquisitor has saved us again. By defending us from a helpless nug.”

“You guys are going to guilt trip me until I cant even eat the poor thing and then I’m going to starve to death and then the whole world is going to die.” She placed her hand over the pot where Nug soup was beginning to brew on the fire. “We needed this nug.”

“What is it the wardens say?” Solas butted in, “In death, sacrifice?”

“No!” She covered her face and they all started laughing. 

“A sacrificial nug.” His voice sounded so somber, like he was talking about a great hero’s demise. 

“The greatest nug to walk all of Thedas, brutally taken from us too soon.” Varric closed his eyes and touched his heart. Cassandra rolled her lips as she tried not to giggle and Lavellan bowed her head, pretending to cover her ears. 

“You are horrible!” She groaned. “I can’t eat now.”

“You have to, you made the sacrifice, it must be done.” Solas set his hand on her shoulder.

“I’m beginning to wonder,” Cassandra said, “If I can even eat the poor creature now.”

Varric choked and started laughing, “You, Seeker? I never would’ve pegged you for a softie.” 

“I’m not.” She countered but Lavellan was still laughing.

“I think our sacrifice is burning.” Solas jumped forward and pulled the pot from the flames. “You first, vhenan.”

“I can’t—I can’t do it!” She was laughing so hard she was crying and Varric couldn’t look at her. Cassandra’s cheeks had a pleasant red blooming across them as she tried and failed to hold in her laughter and Solas was chuckling lightly. “I think the desert sun has scrambled your brains! I hate all of you.”

“As you say, Your Inquisitorialness.” Varric bowed dramatically. He was the first to go for the soup.

When she was finally calm enough to get her own serving, they all seemed to settle, bit by bit, but the atmosphere was good. Things had been tense at Skyhold, they always were. Josephine was wriggling in a deal to get an invite to the Winter Palace for the empress’s ball where they believed someone was going to try and assassinate her, and things just hadn’t quite been the same since Adamant. 

Adamant changed everything. Though Cassandra had come to believe in her, she felt like going into the Fade, seeing the Divine, or some spirit of her, had changed Cassandra’s views of her. As though she finally trusted her, fully, for the first time. Not to mention, she remembered now. Everything.

She wasn’t chosen by Andraste, she was a hiccup in a plan that had been set forth by Corypheus. She’d gladly be the thorn in his side. Perhaps some ancient being had twisted fate so that she would receive the Mark, so she could stop Corypheus at his own game, but she was no longer certain of anything except for the people around her. Her advisors, her companions, these were the people she trusted, this was what she believed in. 

“Well, I think I’m going to turn in for the night.” Varric announced.

Lavellan nodded as Solas said, “I’ll take first watch, since I wasn’t on watch last night.”

“I’ll take the second.” Cassandra told him, which was good and well since she and Varric took it the night before. “I think I’ll be getting some sleep as well.” She rose to her feet gracefully, but her warrior’s stride was solid as she walked away. She disappeared into her tent without another word and Lavellan stoked the fire as Varric patted her shoulder and walked to his own tent.

She smiled after him, still thinking about how these people had come to mean so much to her. All of them. They each had a different place in her life, a different meaning, but none were quite as important to her as Solas. She flicked her eyes his way, light smile still on her face.

“You should get some rest, too, Vhenan.” 

“I should.” She didn’t take her eyes off of him and he shifted, narrowing his eyes just a hint. He watched her watching him and she could feel the heat spreading through her, anticipation creeping in her veins. Her body craved him, her mind and heart ached for him.

Slowly, he lifted his hand and crooked a single finger at her, beckoning her to him and she rose just enough so that she could crawl to his side. He wasn’t far anyways. She grabbed onto his shoulders and his hands fell on her waist, lifting her as she moved to straddle him, sitting in his lap.

“We should not.”

“You always say that and yet we always do.” She fluttered her eyes at him.

“I meant because the others are right there—” he sucked in a sharp breath as she fondled him through his pants, his fingers gripping her hips a little tighter. She loved the rush of heat on his face, lips parting, his breath coming a little quicker as his eyes sought hers out. Passion flared and she felt him growing underneath her touch.

Lavellan leaned forward, placing a soft kiss at the edge of his lips, then his jaw and kissing her way up to his ear before she whispered, “Stay right there.”

“I am yours to command.” His breath was husky as she stood up, her feet on either side of him. She tossed her armored jacket aside easily before she began removing her shirt, the heat of the fire blazing at her back, warming her skin as she exposed it to the night air. Solas didn’t move from his spot, but he did lift his hands, wrapping them around the hem of her pants.

His hold was strong and firm, bunching the material in his hand and he paused just a moment, savoring the sight of her bare breasts, before he pulled roughly and drug her pants all the way down. Lavellan shivered, biting her lip and picked one foot up to remove her shoe but he caught her ankle, doing it himself. Slow and methodical movements, wisps of his fingers grazing against her skin here and there until her foot was bare and he was able to slid her pants leg off.

Her heart was skipping now, her stomach fluttering as he did the same with her other foot, pressing a kiss to her calf before he let her stand on her own two feet again. She was prepared to climb back into his lap, to undo the laces and set him free, but he gripped her hips again, still sitting where he was. She marveled at his long, lean arms before he pulled her closer.

Lavellan stepped forward, almost curious as to what his plan was. He urged her closer and she felt a rush as his breath grazed her most sensitive parts before he grabbed the back of her knees and bent them. She went to her knees easily and he leaned back in one smooth motion, pulling her right to him and Lavellan gasped as his tongue found her. 

She had nothing but her own skin to hold onto as he pleasured her, licking and sucking a delicate pattern between her legs that drove her wild. His arms were hooked around her, keeping her in place as she started to squirm, butterflies racing faster inside of her. She moaned out loud and slammed her hands over her mouth, but she couldn’t even turn her head towards the tents to make sure they were alone, not with the way he was teasing her.

She groaned again and bit down on her knuckles as a spark of electricity drove through her and she arched her back, gasping out loud, biting harder, trying so hard not to cry out as stars burst through her mind and body, heat flooding her, making her toes curl and she squeezed her hands into fists, heaving for breath.

She couldn’t breathe and she didn’t need to, she just needed him as he finally released her and eased her back. He looked up at her and sat up slowly, one arm cradled around her back as she trembled against him.

He whispered to her about how beautiful she was in elven, stroking her hair, cupping her cheek in his before he hugged her close. She was still panting for breath as she reached down between them and undid his pants. She heard a feather of a sigh in her ear before she lifted her hips, straddling him again.

His chin was on her shoulder and he seemed content to let her take the lead so she slid herself onto his shaft, both of them moaning. His hands traced the edge of her shoulder, up her neck and then wrapped around her and he buried his face against her breasts, nipping lightly as she rode him.

She held his head to her, rising and falling, his hips moving rhythmically to hers and he set one hand down behind him, using it to push higher, deeper inside of her and she threw her head back, fighting not to cry out as they both fell into the sky.


	33. Three Seconds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trouble just follows Ethylia everywhere she goes. Even when she's stuck in bed healing.   
> This chapter sees some tender moments with Ethylia and Zathrael, some truths revealed, and the return of Commander Despaud. Also. Sexy Cullen Rutherford laying down the law. Mmmm.

"You need more than a little elfroot poultice." The healer murmured as she encouraged Ethylia to lay down. Sleep was all she wanted but there was so much to do.

"Have they found Solas yet?"

"Lay back, let the commanders handle that job."

She wanted to argue but her body begged her not to so she laid back on the makeshift bed. At his disappearance, they'd rushed back to the town but neither Solas nor Morrigan had been found. She wasn't sure if that meant Morrigan fled before he arrived, or if they'd left together. Thom and Cullen seemed to think it wasn't a good sign. Morrigan and her vast knowledge from the Well of Sorrows had been what placed Solas in the uthenera in the first place with the aid of an elf called Abelas. 

"I should be out there helping."

"You need to be here resting." The healer insisted and tottled away to help more of her patients. She sighed and lifted her eyes to Tenner. He was in the next bed over, a little walkway between. Mirah had her own chair propped up next to him, holding his hand.

"She's right, you know." He tsked at her.

Mirah nodded, "You look like you're going to fall over at any moment."

"You two missed a good fight."

"By the looks of your face I disagree." Tenner laughed and stroked his chin. He was in good spirits and the healer had told him he could go to his own tent as long as he didn't overwork himself. Mirah charged a couple of soldiers with getting his tent erect so he didn't have to do it. Still stroking his chin, he said, "I'd rather keep my face pretty."

"Is that your concern?" Ethylia cocked a brow, "Sorry to tell you it was never pretty, brother."

"Hey!" He lifted a cup in his hand like he might throw it at her but Mirah made him lower it. He sobered and offered her a smile, "I'm sorry I wasn't there to help you after you fell."

"I'm glad you were out of harm's way."

He nodded his head towards Fuire who was passed out on a cot opposite of them. "As odd as it is to say, at least you had him. Who would've known he'd be such a remarkable ally?"

"Not me." She murmured as her eyelids got droopy. 

"You can't go through what we did out there and not be changed." Mirah commented, "We're bound together. All of us. Even Nyxon, though he's more accustomed to such harrowing situations. I think he is fond of all of us." She didn't disagree, despite his gruffness which made him seem a little rough around the edges. 

She fought against the sleep tugging at her but she couldn't keep fighting, she was done. Before she even got the chance to speak again, she was slipping away.

 

 

Ethylia blinked open her eyes and found Zathrael next to her. He was sitting on the floor, head tipped over onto her cot, sound asleep. She felt a smile spread across her face, studying his features for a moment. Possibly for the first time, she got to see him completely relaxed and at ease.

His hair was an easy brown, thick and glossy, his chin perfectly smooth. She reached out hesitantly, not wanting to disturb him but unable to resist pushing back his hair, smiling softly at the pointed ears hidden underneath. They were a little shorter than hers, the tips just so slightly rounded. His necklace was tucked into one hand and she let her fingers trail out of his hair and down his arm to the edge of his fingertips and splayed his hand open lightly, examining the necklace with the crow's feather and blood orange drakestones. 

He inhaled deeply, alerting her that he was waking up and she watched his amber eyes flutter open. Her hand was still holding his open, examining the feather and he wrapped his fingers around her in a gentle hold as he lifted his head. "Hey," his voice was husky from sleep.

She brushed his hair out of his face, "You didn't have to stay with me."

He yawned as he looked around and she followed his gaze. Tenner's bed was empty, cleaned up, no chair for Mirah to sit in anymore. Fuire was across from her, still as the night. Zathrael squeezed her hand and she faced him again, "I wanted to." His lips brushed against her knuckles before he laid his head back down on the cot. "I feel like I could sleep for another moon." He settled a moment and then picked his head back up. "How are you feeling?"

"A little sore." She was a lot sore and she hadn't tried to move much yet, but she didn't feel like she had before she went to sleep. 

"It's good to see you awake." He murmured and reached past the bed, leaning away for a moment before he straightened and held up a flower. "You have gifts. This one is from me."

It was by far the most stunning flower she'd ever seen. She'd never seen one before. It was solidly purple with flecks of pink dotted through it, but it almost seemed to glow. She was a scout, she'd spent more than enough time in the woods to know what did and didn't grow. "What is that?"

"Maybe you were more injured than we thought, it's a flower."

She laughed and winced as a little pain lanced through her side. "I know, but I mean, that doesn't grow out here."

It was his turn to laugh, a short chuckle leaving parted lips that made her feel a little warmer inside, "I had a mage spell it. I wanted mine to be the most unique."

She frowned, "Wait, you said gifts, what gifts? Why?"

"Let me help you sit up." He handed her the flower and she took it as his hands slipped about her shoulders. Her free hand pushed and the strain of moving took her breath, but once she was upright, she felt a little better. She could also see what he was talking about. In a thick array around the base of her bed was a grouping of flowers, necklaces, bracelets, a few rings. It was the same around Fuire's bed, too.

"What in Andraste?" 

"You're a hero." He reached into his pocket and produced several rings, "Me, too. People keep giving me things, and Tenner and Mirah and Nyx. All of us."

"I don't understand."

He laughed and explained, "People thought we went up the mountain to fight the darkspawn, somehow these rumors are spreading that we went to find the Archdemon, that we were going up there to save them. Now there's so many people talking about how we helped them cross the rocky terrain when we evacuated the city. Half of them are lying I swear, but they insist they were there, they saw us save people, or they were saved. By us."

"We were just doing our jobs." She replied as she took that in, thinking back to the mad rush across the valley, pulling civilians out of harm's way, killing any darkspawn that broke past the line of Harding's troops. "The wardens and Harding were there, too."

"But they saw us, standing apart, helping people, saving children, killing darkspawn. The word was already starting to spread and then you and Fuire fell down that hole. It's one thing for someone to fall down that hole and come out alive, it's another for a hero to do it. That's when the stories really went rampant. Some people I've never met in my life are insisting they met me at a tavern once three months ago just to say they can call me friend."

"This is crazy."

"I know. They've been giving us all gifts nonstop and especially you and Fuire in hopes that you both recover."

"How is he?" She looked across the room to Fuire.

"The healers say he almost lost too much blood to recover, but he's okay now. He just needs to rest. A lot." He sighed and then met her eyes again, "There's something else."

"What is it?"

"We're not sure how, maybe when everyone was yelling at each other on the road here, but they know that, uh, that you're the daughter of Inquisitor Lavellan and Solas."

"Who knows?"

"Everyone." She stared at him, her heart beat raising. Everyone knew. She wasn't sure how she was supposed to react and that made her nervous. She had bouquets of flowers all around her, maybe it wasn't a bad thing. 

"I swear by Andraste I will cut your throat!" She jerked her head up in surprise, the movement paining her as she looked towards the other side of the infirmary tents...no, not a tent. For the first time she realized their infirmary was in an actual building this time. At least they had that.

"Was that your father?" Zathrael frowned and she was considering trying to stand but the door was already opening and a group of Orlesian's came marching in, their faces covered. Two warriors and a mage by their armor, and one Commander Despaud that already made her want to curl her lip. 

"Too bad that bitch ran away before the darkspawn could kill her." Zathrael gave her a surprised looked and she frowned, "Oops, did I say that out loud?"

"Yes you did." He murmured lowly, "I take it you don't like whoever she is."

She snorted, "That's Commander Despaud of the Orlesian troops." The woman was walking closer as several people clambered in behind her.

"I see you've lied to me once again Commander Rainier," Despaud's voice really grated on her nerves, "the elf is awake."

Her hand was still in Zathrael's and she felt the immediate change in him. He'd been mostly relaxed, if not a little curious, but the moment those words, full of distaste, left her lips, he tensed. She glanced at him to see anger ticking through his jaw and he rose to his feet. He somehow seemed taller, towering above her as he glared across the short distance.

"Only just so." There was an edge to his voice she'd never heard before and one of the warriors actually drew up short while the other tensed and looked ready for a fight. Everything about him right now was menacing, telling them to back away and she wanted to smile at him for it. Few people had ever stood up for her and none had ever done it with such subtle ferocity. "The healer hasn't even been called yet, come back later."

"Ethylia," her father was barging in behind Despaud, looking suddenly elated as he saw her awake. 

"Come back later?" Despaud gaped, "Do you know who I am?"

"I don't care who you are, get out." 

Rage blossomed across the commander's face, at least the parts that peeked at her from beneath her mask. Her eyes narrowed, "I will have you arrested you drabby filth!" 

"What's the meaning of this?" Someone came hobbling in as quick as their legs could bring them. "Get out of here, this is the infirmary!" Ethylia recognized the healer.

"I've come to talk to one Ethylia Syn."

"This is a place for rest and healing, there'll be no talking here. Besides, she isn't-you're awake?! Zathrael, you should have told me!" Everything was put aside as she rushed to Ethylia and she frowned at the woman's haste.

"How long have I been asleep?"

"Two days," she said it so off hand as she pressed the back of her hand to her forehead.

" _Two days?!_ "

"Don't fret, dear," she patted her hand, "you needed the rest." She cast a glare at the commanders to punctuate her words. "I will have none of your interrogations going on in here!"

"Interrogation?" She was feeling light headed, like she'd been sitting up too long.

"Yes," Despaud said with refined superiority, "and after further investigations, I intend to place you under arrest."

"Pardon?"

Her father stormed forward, "Excuse the fuck out of me, Andratse's tits you are!" The Orlesian warriors moved to bar his path and she swore the air got hotter in here. Zathrael was directly in front of her, one fist curled, one hand behind him on the edge of a dagger that was there.

Ethylia grabbed her head, the world was spinning. She couldn't keep her thoughts straight. "What for?" She asked, voice as shaky as she felt.

"For conspiring with your father."

"I'm her father!"

It wasn't until Thom's shout that she realized the woman meant Solas. The healer was yelling at them all to get out now, Despaud was calling for Zathrael to stand down while he dared them to come closer and her father was shouting at Despaud. When her warriors moved, he took them to the floor with ample swiftness and the room exploded with chaos as Despaud called for guards. Orlesians started pouring into the room and the woman faced her.

"By order of the empress, I place you under arrest for conspiring and aiding in the escape of Fen'Harel, a known enemy to the world of Thedas. Stand down." Her last comment was directed at Zathrael.

"I'm not Orlesian." He replied, glaring at her. He was reaching for his dagger when Commander Cullen came into the room. It only served to make the noise louder and she put her hands over her ears while the healer stood next to her, hand on her shoulder, trying to get everyone to back out. The Orlesians had overpowered her father and had him pinned on the ground and still the room was spinning.

Then Commander Despaud hit her knees. It felt slow in her mind, watching a brief moment of surprise before she started going limp, her knees giving way, her eyes rolling to the back of her head. The room going silent as her guards realized they'd fucked up and hadn't protected their commander, leaving Fuire standing over her.

"I suggest you get out so we can make room on one of these beds for your commander." Fuire hissed at them. They sounded strong and powerful, but his face was pale, covered in sweat, and his legs shook. He shouldn't even be standing. She wasn't even sure how he'd gotten out of bed when he'd been unconscious and in worse condition than she was.

"I will arrest you, ser!" One of the guards stormed forward.

"Hey!" Cullen snapped sharply, "That's enough! Everyone but the wounded has three seconds to get out before I start arresting everyone on Divine Victoria's orders!" That earned him some wide eyes, and then his next word bellowed out so loud that several people flinched, "One!" 

"But Empress Celine-"

"Is not above the Divine!" Her father snapped. He was back on his feet now. Several of the Orlseian soldiers glanced at each other, a few moved towards the door.

" _Three!_ " Cullen skipped two and the moment the word left his lips there was a mad dash for the exit. Everyone but the two warriors and mage that entered with Commander Despaud ran out and Cullen glared at them.

"We will be sending letters to our Empress on this matter." One of them hissed.

"Then you'll be doing it from the constable's office. I'm placing each of you under arrest. I am not to be tried. The healer will attend your commander." He left no room for argument as he turned on his heel and marched out.


	34. My Fierce Protectors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethylia talks with Thom Rainier and Zathrael before seeking out Solas in the Fade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long since I posted! Life has gotten a little hectic for me! Thank you for your patience <3

She was finally able to lay down again and had been doing so while the healer fussed over her and then Fuire. She remained in place quietly as her father did the same and thumped Zathrael on the back for standing up for her. Commander Despaud was sitting up on a cot, holding the back of her head where Fuire had hit her and knocked her unconscious. She kept demanding to know who hit her but Thom insisted he could see nothing from the floor.

"Now that you two are done fussing over me, do you want to explain what's going on?" She asked quietly.

"Despaud's been here since yesterday afternoon demanding to see you and take you into custody." Thom told her.

"Why?" Their last run-in with Despaud had her promising to send word to the empress that Fen'Harel was awake. "I thought Leliana was going to intercept her spies?"

"She was. She stopped two of them, the messenger and a decoy. We didn't realize Despaud was clever enough to have two decoys, they never caught the third. The empress wrote back with orders to bring Solas into Orlesian custody for trial for attempting to tear down the Veil and destroy Thedas twenty years ago." He sighed, "Then when she got here, she heard the rumors that you and Solas...that he...that you're his daughter."

Zathrael added, "Now she's determined to bring you in as well. She claims that if Solas escaped then you must be part of the reason why. There are also people telling tales of how he stopped the darkspawn in the caves and that you advocated for him to join us in our fight to stop the Blight. Despaud is taking it as you siding with him."

"That's ridiculous, I don't want the world destroyed, I want it protected, hence why I think we should use him."

"Lies!"

She crinkled her nose as Despaud called that across the room. "Whatever you think you know, you don't."

"Don't fight with her," Thom set his hand on hers, "I've been trying to reason with her since she got here. This wasn't the first time she tried to barge into here to deal with you."

"But this time she succeeded." Zathrael glared at her across the room.

She smiled and took each of their hands, "My fierce protectors."

"Well look at you." Zathrael turned to her and there was so much seriousness in his eyes that it made her realize he meant his words with everything he had. "Look at everything you just went through. You've earned the time to rest and recover and that _dar'laima_ seems intent on crucifying you. You can barely sit up and she wants to place you under arrest? I won't stand for it." Her heart warmed and she wanted to kiss him, to feel his lips on hers, his arms enveloping her in their embrace. She just didn't have the strength. 

She decided to change the topic, "Has there been any word on Solas?" She asked, quieter this time.

"We haven't found him. Nor have we seen Morrigan." 

"I should see about helping."

Zathrael planted his hand on her chest, "When you're rested." 

"There's no need to hold me down, as you pointed out, I can hardly sit up."

"But I know you, you're going to run off the first chance you get, healed or not, ready to fight. You can't do everything."

"He's not wrong." Thom leaned forward and nodded, "Let us handle it."

"I have other ways to seek out Solas." They both frowned at her and she lowered her voice even more, "I can find him in the Fade."

"How?" They said in unison and then glanced at each other.

She hadn't planned to tell anyone, but she found herself telling her team everything about herself and Solas and she would always tell Thom whatever he needed to know. "The Fade magic inside me. I can walk through the Fade, into anyone's dreams, like my mother."

"You know what I think? I think your mother left you too much information in that journal of hers. Things you were better off not knowing."

"Keep the dogs away from me while I sleep." She smiled at them and pulled her blanket up. She was exhausted and sore, if she sat up again she was certain the world wouldn't just spin, it'd explode. She didn't give them anymore time before closing her eyes and drifting off into an almost immediate sleep. 

 

. . . .

 

 

It took a long time to find Solas. He wasn't sleeping when she first entered the Fade. When she found him, he was ready for her, leaning idly on a staff he hadn't had before. His clothes were different, simple, but clean.

When he spoke, his voice was smooth but his tone was inquisitive, "I was a little worried. I thought you would come to me sooner." It wasn't quite a question.

"What do you mean?" She asked as he watched her approach.

"It's been days since I last saw you. I was concerned you...well, I thought you may have been injured worse than I'd originally thought. After days passed I was getting concerned you were dead."

"I've been sleeping. Healing. I didn't dream, I just...wanted to rest." She stopped and brushed her foot through the dirt. His voice still had that smooth quality but she could catch the underlying anxiety he tried to hide. He'd really worried she was dead? His eyes said he was intensely relieved to see her alive. "I'll admit walking through the Fade has been far from my mind. After everything that happened, I just needed peace."

He gave her a tight lipped smile and he tilted his head, "I'm sorry. You've been through a lot, I should have asked how you were the moment I saw you."

"It's okay." She said quickly and met his gaze. "And, I think I'm okay. Everything hurts, but not nearly as much as it did when I first came out of that hole."

"And your friend?"

"Fuire's worse than I am, but he'll manage along. He was well enough to find the strength to knock out an Orlesian." 

"Pardon?"

She smirked, "The Orlesian's wish to arrest me."

Solas's entire demeanor changed, his back stiffening and the staff vanished as he let it go and stormed forward. "Why? For what reason?"

"Apparently they think I'm siding with you, that I am an agent of Fen'Harel."

Fury whipped through him, "They do not wish to start a war with me."

"Calm down," she set her hand on his shoulder, "we're handling it." He looked down at her hand and then back to her face. 

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have lost my temper." He stepped back. 

"They know who I am now."

"Does that scare you?"

"A little. I've been told my whole life that I should keep it hidden or else people will treat me...well, I don't know, I guess they would treat me like her daughter."

"And mine."

"Some will hate me."

"Many already love you." He waved around, "I've heard the rumors," memories danced around him at the wave of his hand, him walking on the streets, cloak pulled up, people talking about her as he passed. They spoke of a hero. She didn't feel like a hero, she just felt like a woman trying to do the right thing.

"This is ridiculous, we should be focusing on the darkspawn." She huffed and then looked at him again, "Where are you, Solas? I need you." She frowned at him, "And what are you wearing?" The barely green color of the tunic was thick for snowy weather, almost tattered in appearance while the lambswool underneath certainly looked warm. Leather leggings spiraled down his legs, a deep brown that stood out against the green.

He chuckled, "I was dreaming of better days, naturally my dream form took on the attire." He held out his hand and she wasn't sure why. He waited, his stone blue eyes patient. Slowly, she lifted her hand and set it in his. He led her away at an easy pace, each foot placed with confidence and poise. 

The world slowly changed around them and she watched some distant memory unfold, becoming clearer with each step they took. First she saw Solas, his image clearing. He was wearing what he wore now. A thick, somewhat ragged overtunic and leather elven leggings. His necklace hung around his neck, fully intact, while the elf behind him came into view.

She was fuzzy at first, but then her wreath of white blonde hair became clearer, an angelic face with bright, lavender eyes. Ethylia's heart clenched as she realized this was a memory from Solas's past of him with her mother.


	35. I Had No Choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solas shows Ethylia memories in the Fade of her mother

Ethylia marveled as Solas and her mother trekked through snow so deep that they had to lift their legs high to step through it. It was above their knees and their legs were longer than most of the humans, definitely the dwarves. As she watched, her mother slipped and Solas caught her and she scrambled on farther ahead and up a set of boulders.

"What is this?" Ethylia turned from the memory to ask him. He was gone, but the memory was still here. She frowned and looked back to her parents and realized he was there, reliving that moment as he climbed up the boulders behind her and looked out at the land.

The landscape was becoming clearer all around them, mountains coming into view, the snow was under her feet now, crowding around her legs, making it difficult to move. Down the slope, she could see a mass of people coming. They carried packs on their backs, a few animals carried the rest. They looked forlorn, bedraggled, but as they looked up the slope, she couldn't help but catch the looks in their eyes as they gazed at her mother.

Ethylia pressed her lips together, watching silently as Solas set his hand on her mother's elbow. A light touch that meant so much. "We can see the path from here." He pointed down the other side of the slope. "If we keep heading eastward, we'll find it."

Her mother looked up at him and Ethylia's heart clenched at the pure affection on her face and she reached for him, almost like she was going to touch his face, but then she set her hand on his shoulder instead. She didn't say a word as she turned from him and instead faced their people.

"There's a path farther down the next slope." She announced to the entourage following her. It occurred to her that this was her mother's trek to Skyhold. Solas had told her to scout to the east and that there she would find a place and she had, she'd led the entirety of Haven survivors there to safety.

She climbed down from the rocks and continued on, but Solas remained on them, watching the people pass by. She felt her lips part and she almost called out to the dream, but she held her tongue as her father went walking by, a massive Qunari that could only be The Iron Bull was slapping him on the back. 

"Blackwall, we're opening the last keg tonight with the Chargers. Care to join us?"

"Of course he will!" Sera interrupted. "Right, Beardie?"

"Whatever you say, Fuzzhead." He countered and Ethylia spotted the little elf that said it. She seemed to be having a hard time taking on the snow. She vaguely recognized the face and she knew this was Sera, but she hadn't seen her in years. Her father often spoke fondly of her friendship, but when the Inquisition disbanded, Sera went on to continue her works as a Red Jenny, taking on the nobles to fight for the little guys. 

Then she spotted Dorian. She hadn't seen him in years but in the memory he was younger than she remembered him to be. He looked worn, but determined as he helped people move through the snow, Cullen was doing the same. The commander was as golden haired as he'd ever been, but twenty years younger and not bad on the eyes. The same went for Leliana, just as beautiful as ever, her eyes just as sharp.

"Hey, Solas, pawn to b5!" Iron Bull announced as he passed the rock. He didn't seem to have as much trouble walking through the deep snow as everyone else. He towered above all of them, his massive horns streaking out to each side of him and then pointing up.

Solas actually laughed and sounded amused as he called back from his rock, "Alright, you have my curiosity. Mage takes pawn."

Iron Bull actually crinkled his nose, "You call your Tamassrans mages? Ben-Hassrath to f6." 

"And you call your knights Ben-Hassrath? Incidentally, knight to f3."

She smiled at their game and watched Solas's eyes skip back down towards her mother. There's was a boy with a rather large hat walking next to her, far ahead down the slope. She didn't even remember seeing the boy in the crowd. A goddess of a woman came through, leading an entourage of mages and Divine Victoria was near the end, Varric not far from her. 

Ethylia had to correct herself, this woman wasn't divine yet, the woman in Solas's memory was still Cassandra. Another woman was with her, gold, frilly clothes and she believed it was Josephine but she'd not seen the woman in years either. She'd heard that she'd gone back to Antiva and her family after the Inquisition was disbanded. 

"Do you see the way they look at her?" She flinched not expecting Solas to be at her side. "She was a hero to them. People are starting to look at you the same."

Ethylia turned her head as the memory began to fade. "I see the way you look at her."

He blinked at her several times, his expression startled before he took several steps away. He turned, giving her his back. She wasn't sure what to make of it, but then he spoke, voice low and quiet, "I want you to know I loved your mother with all my heart."

"Why did you betray her?" She asked, less demanding than she would have expected herself to be. "You turned on her world, everything she stood for."

"I had no choice."

"There's always a choice."

"No, there isn't." He turned back to her. "Did you have a choice on being born? Did you choose to breathe?"

"You're Fen'Harel, the Dread Wolf, the Trickster God! Surely-"

"I am not a god."

"How do you have no choice? Explain it to me. Let me help you!"

"You...cannot."

They sighed at the same time and she wanted to strangle him. She fought to center her emotions as they threatened to rage through her. "Do I mean nothing to you? You said you would rather tear out your own heart than turn me down but you keep doing just that. You're nothing but a liar, again. To me, to my mother-"

"It does tear out my heart! You mean everything to me. From the moment I saw you when we were fighting those darkspawn, your face, your eyes, all hers, you meant the world to me from that very moment. Knowing exactly who you are only made those feelings stronger." She hadn't even realized he was walking closer, practically screaming those words, and then he had a hold of her arms, staring into her eyes. "I wish to stay here with you, to help you, but I have to find Morrigan."

His voice was so desperate, his eyes longing as his hands clutched her. Her heart ached for him and she wasn't sure why, what was he hiding? Why wouldn't he tell her? _He doesn't have a choice..._ She was surprised to find tears running down her cheeks as she sniffled, "Solas, you can't hurt Morrigan."

"I have no desire to hurt her, but you would do well not to trust her."

"If I can't help you...can she?"

His eyes went wide as she whispered those words and she swore she saw relief in them before he bowed his head into her shoulder. Ethylia wasn't sure what to make of him in that moment, desperation like a tangible force in the air, clinging all around them. Her frantic pleas to make him stay, his obvious distress. There was something more here, some secret he couldn't tell, and her mother's words ever ringing in her mind, _Never believe them, Ethylia, okay? Solas, isn't a bad man._

Her mother was right. All this time. She must've known something wasn't right here, she'd never doubted Solas. "I'm going to find a way to save you." She finally spoke and he picked his head up to meet her eyes, turmoil in every tight line of his face, in the coil of his muscles and the strain in his eyes. "I know what they think of you, but I know what she thought, too. I can see that something's wrong and I will free you from whatever bonds are holding you."

"I must find Morrigan." He whispered again.

She frowned, was he trying to tell her something? Morrigan must know how to help him. He wouldn't run to her when she could put him back in the uthenera unless he had a good reason to go looking. Ethylia nodded, "Okay." But in her mind she knew, if he was going to find Morrigan, she would do her best to find her first. She would be there when Solas found her and maybe, together, they could fix this.


	36. To What End?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethylia talks with Cullen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its been a bit since I posted! My apologies!

Ethylia was surprised to open her eyes and find Cullen beside her bed. Likewise, there were Templars at the door, not one of their middlemen but actual Templars. He had a chair, his arms crossed over his chest, one of them up with his chin propped on it. As she slowly came awake, she saw his head bobbing just a bit and then he jerked and ran his hand through his golden hair as he struggled to stay awake. She was surprised to see several loose curls springing free, as if they'd been held in by some spell that was deteriorating.

"Is that why Varric always called you Curly?"

Cullen jerked to sit up higher and turned to face her, "Maker's breath." He huffed at her and then blinked, "What did you say?" He grabbed at his hair, running his hands through it as if to smooth it, cursing under his breath. "I keep it shorter now, easier to tame the damn things." He cocked an eyebrow at her, "You used to play with them, you know, when you were little. I didn't have the leisure to come to the cabin often, but when I did..." he smiled softly at some distant memory.

She frowned and tilted her head with disbelief, "I can't say that I remember."

He chuckled, "You were quite young then. The pride of your mother." He met her gaze evenly, "We kept you away from Skyhold as much as we could. It was so easy to explain your mother's absence, she was always gone, always on another mission or meeting with an alliance member, some noble or whatnot. When you did come to Skyhold, on rare occasion, we simply explained you were one of our guest's child."

"I don't remember Skyhold much." She pushed up on her hands to sit. She felt less sore than she had before. 

"Mother Giselle tended you a lot when you were with us there, she adored you. You used to crawl around the fireplace in Josephine's office. After the Exalted Council, there were less visitors at Skyhold. We had other duties, it was easier."

"She left me there with Josephine and Leliana when she went to stop Solas."

Cullen nodded, "She did. We met everyone there before departing. We had to smuggle you in the night before. I think it hurt her not to tell everyone about your existence. Some of her companions never got to know the part of her she considered was the best part, that she was a mother, that she had you."

Ethylia nodded, "It bothered her a lot through the years. She mentioned it in her journal. After Corypheus, everyone slowly went their separate ways, only a few like you stuck around as a core part of what remained of the Inquisition."

"Until we disbanded. But two years later we found ourselves here again, preparing to go after Solas."

They both fell silent as she considered that. The Chantry had built up forces with Orlais, Ferelden, and Tevinter to fight Solas. When he'd disappeared after the events at the Exalted Council, the elves had disappeared with him. No more slaves, no more elves. They'd gone to fight in his new rebellion, to help him prepare to tear down the Veil. She didn't think he'd told them tearing it down would destroy their world and their lives.

Her mother and her small force were the only ones that had slipped past all of Solas's defenses and found him just as he was performing his spell in the mountain pass. While everyone else fought his elves, her mother had gotten to the heart of the matter and stopped him. 

"Now everyone knows who I am." Ethylia finally stated and glanced towards the door again where the Templars stood, quiet and ominous. She rolled her shoulders, feeling a little tenderness. 

"How do you feel?" He asked her.

"Like I was trampled by horses, but it's not as bad as it was. What time is it?"

He gave her a tight lipped smile, "You slept a long while, Ethylia, there are some things we should discuss."

She blinked at him worriedly, "How long this time?"

"You needed the rest, you barely survived your ordeal. We should probably start with a meal, you were out for fourteen hours, but the healer said you didn't eat when you were awake last time."

"There was too much commotion."

He nodded, "Indeed there was."

"Where's my father then? Still arguing with Despaud?"

"Sleeping for the first time in days. He's been going out of his mind. First Tenner was was wounded, poisoned on top of that, it was all I could do to drag Thom from his side to perform his duties. Tenner wasn't even out of the woods yet when you joined him in the infirmary, and on top of that Orlais is breathing down our backs now. The only way I could get Thom to leave and get rest in a proper bed was by telling him I would stay here with you."

"What about Zathrael?" She turned her head, he'd been here the last time she'd woken but he wasn't here now. She did spot Fuire, still in the bed she'd left him in, sleeping.

"Tenner managed to convince him to step out for a time to rest as well. You have a dedicated entourage forming around you, Ethylia. Even Warden Nyxon has firmly grounded the Grey Wardens on your side."

She felt the corner of her mouth twitch up at that before she nodded her head towards the doorway and the men standing guard there, "And the Templars?"

He sighed, "I told you, Orlais was breathing down our backs. They've tried to knock the door down several times now. I finally used the right threat and they pulled back to the outskirts of town. There should be an emissary from Orlais in a couple days. They're demanding your arrest. Not only are we fighting darkspawn, but we're now at odds with Orlais and...." He bowed his head, fury ticking in his jaw. "They've informed Tevinter, twisted the truth to their own views, and the Imperium has decidedly sided with them. They've threatened to send troops to attack us if we don't hand you over."

She pulled her knees up to her chest, slowly, that news settling in her stomach like a pit. "Well, shit."

"We will protect you." He stated firmly.

"To what end?" She whispered, "War with Orlais and Tevinter, right when we need them most? Cullen, we can't keep doing this. We're splitting all our forces. Knowledge that Solas walks again in Thedas will split our forces farther. The Blight is here, I've seen it. We need Orlais and Tevinter helping us and the wardens but everyone is so far up their own asses-" She broke off and looked away, breathing heavily. "I'm sorry, I got carried away."

"It's alright," he patted her shoulder and stood up. "You're not wrong, you know, our focus has to remain on protecting all of Thedas."

"Where do we draw the line? What's more important in protecting Thedas? Do we stop the Blight first or do we stop Solas?"

"We stop the Blight. I still have faith that you and your companions can stop Solas." His amber eyes watched her for a long moment before he said, "You convinced him to help us. For just a moment, no matter how fleeting, he was willing to help against the Blight. Maybe you can still bring him back." His words weighed heavy on her mind and heart. There was a force inside of her that demanded she keep fighting, but it was getting harder and harder to hold it up, but she did believe her mother's words now.

"Solas isn't a bad man, Cullen." She stated and he looked at her. "There's something else going on here and I'm going to find out what it is, I'm going to help him and then he's going to help us fight the Blight."

"For all our sakes, I hope it's as simple as that." He stood up straighter, "I'll go get the healer, you need to eat." With that, he swept out the room, but the Templars remained, guarding the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed some Cullen in my life so I had to have a Cullen chapter, naturally :)


	37. You Need Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethylia tries to get back on her feet and an old ally of the Inquisition makes a special appearance :)

By the Maker, she hurt everywhere as she slipped out the door while the healer wasn't looking. She was surprised, however, when the Templars went with her. She frowned and looked back at the infirmary and back to them.

"We're here for your safety, milady." One of them spoke.

"Sweet Maker, you're a woman?" She tilted her head, trying to peer past the helmet. She stood taller than the man next to her. "Is it necessary for you to wear those even indoors?"

"We're trying to be prepared for anything."

"Commander Cullen is concerned of potential ambushes or mercenaries."

"Mercenaries? They want to murder me now? I thought I was only under threat of arrest?"

"Mercenaries hired to kidnap you."

She was skeptical of their reasons, but the world of Thedas feared Solas. Right now it seemed they'd lost all wit and were more afraid of him than the Blight. Both were capable of destroying the world, but one was capable of change, too.

"It would be preferable for you to remain in the infirmary until you are well."

She smirked, "I'll take your suggestion under consideration." A full meal and she was good as new now. Other than the aches and pains in every inch of her body. She'd never been scared of heights, but she was fairly certain she'd have a hard time going near any edge now after Zeke fell and then she and Fuire fell into the cave. 

She turned and started walking, making her way through the town. Everything was unfamiliar, but a few directions from the Templars stalking her and she was confident they could reach the commanders together. There was a lot she wanted to catch up on. She wanted to find Tenner and Zathrael. She hadn't seen her brother since before he left the infirmary. It'd be good to see him on his feet again. She wanted all of her team back on their feet and healthy.

She was rounding a corner of a building when someone bumped into her. It only mildly ached as their hands came up to steady her and she found herself looking at Zathrael. "You're awa-" The Templars pounced before anymore words came out of his mouth, swords at his throat as they rammed him into the nearest wall.

"Whoa, hey, take it easy!" She grabbed their shoulders. "This is Zathrael, leave him be."

They pulled back immediately and one of them removed their helmet and bowed their head. "Sorry, milord, we meant no harm."

He had such a startled look on his face that Ethylia giggled as she pushed past the two Templars and pressed her lips to his. He didn't kiss her back so she pulled away to see him staring daggers through the two Templars. "Cullen put them on guard duty while I slept."

"I know. I was there when they got there. You'd think you'd recognize me." His last sentence was aimed directly at them, his tone cutting.

"Our sincerest apologies, Lord Zathrael."

"Lord Zathrael?" She cocked an eyebrow at it.

He shrugged one shoulder and she realized there was a flower in his hair. She plucked it out as he explained, "Ever since our great and daring rescue, everyone refers to any of us with the greatest respect. If we keep this up, we'll be the next kings and queens." He eyed the flower, a blush creeping over his cheeks as he met her gaze. "Watch out for favors and sneaky maidens."

"Sneaky maidens?" She put her hand on her hip, "Should I be jealous."

He ran his hands through his hair, "No, but they'll stick flowers in your hair when you're not looking. You should see your brother, he has twice as many as I do."

"I can't imagine Warden Nyxon getting adorned with this kind of affection."

"Several people have given him their noblest gifts." He was still leaning back against the wall as he pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. "But alas, no flowers in his hair. He can't look too pretty when fighting darkspawn." His finger crooked under her chin and she pressed herself to him and kissed him and he kissed her back this time. She sighed against him and when his fingers massaged the sore muscles in her back she could've died in his arms. "How are you feeling? It's good to see you on your feet."

"You keep doing that and I'm liable to melt." His teeth sank into her bottom lip, not painfully so, and a mischievous light glinted in his eyes. She was more than happy to stay here, in this place and moment with him, but the Templars shifting awkwardly near them reminded her they were in plain sight of any passersby that happened upon them. "I heard you've been at my bedside almost the whole time I slept."

He met her eyes evenly, staring long and hard. "It scares me how much you're starting to mean to me." His hands slid across her shoulders and up to her neck, his thumbs on her cheeks, the rest of his hand cupping her head. She didn't know what to say to that, but for some reason those words filled her heart with a joy and warmth and she wrapped her hands around his wrists tenderly. His expression softened and he kissed her one more time. "Come on, we're starting to worry the Templars that we're going to screw around right here with everyone looking."

"Well, this isn't Orlais, we shouldn't create a scandal."

He chuckled and laced their fingers. "Your father is awake, he'll want to see you."

"What about Tenner?"

"He's with him. Mirah, too. Can't keep those two apart."

She smiled at those words and followed his lead, the Templars falling in step behind them. As they passed a few villagers, she saw their heads turn, heard the whispers, and then someone stopped them to offer them each a flower. She accepted it and carried on, but people didn't stop talking as she walked by and she stared at Zathrael. "You weren't kidding,"

"Did you think I was?"

"No, but...seeing it is somehow different than hearing about it."

"They see us as heroes, we saved them in the darkspawn retreat."

She looked around, she would never get used to something like this. They continued along and she slipped her hand into his, leaning against his shoulder. His clothes were different. Finer, better woven fabric that even had embroidery on the edges. More gifts? 

"This color blue suits you." She fingered the collar of his shirt and he smiled at her as he slowed and turned towards a wooden structure. It didn't quite look like a home. It was rather large for a townhouse. "What is this?"

"Town church, council hall, whatever they need it to be."

"There's no Chantry symbols."

"The last one burned down apparently and they haven't had the chance to completely finish. You'll notice once we're inside. There is plenty of work left to do." There were two guards posted outside the door and he dipped his head to them and they let them enter, the Templars remaining on her tail and following her in.

She was two steps inside the door when hands wrapped around her mouth and waist and yanked her away from Zathrael. She heard his sharp intake of breath and a grunt of pain and he hit the hardwood floor.

Ethylia tried to leap into action, struggling against whoever held her throwing her elbow backwards as pain shot through her body from one side to the other from her still healing injuries. Whoever held her was thoroughly covered in armor as her elbow slammed into metal, another bruise to add to the collection, so she dropped her weight forward and barely managed to loosen their hold.

Zathrael was wrestling on the floor with whoever had attacked him and she could hear a scuffle behind her as the Templars fought for her. She managed to twist a little out of their grip and reached for her dagger but another one was coming at her, knocking the dagger out of her hand gripping her wrist.

As the first came back at her, she knocked him hard in the nose and heard the satisfying crunch before she threw her entire body at the second. He stumbled back, grabbing at her and she slammed her fist in his face. She dove to the side and rolled right into the arms of another, his arms coming down around her with an iron hold she couldn't break.

His hands were huge, he could've easily covered her nose and mouth and suffocated her on the spot while the group overwhelmed the Templars and Zathrael. No matter how much she struggled, she couldn't get him to budge and when he picked her up, the strength of him scared her, a realization flitting through her. This was no ordinary mercenary or assassin. 

He turned with her under his arm and one hand over her mouth when a door opened, "Stop! All of you!" Cullen stormed in from a side door. He drew up short, his eyes flicking behind her, "Zathrael, put it down."

The big bastard holding her turned, she was still in his arms, and she saw Zathrael, bow and arrow raised. He'd gotten away from the one pinning him down and had his sights trained on the big buy holding her.

"Tell him to put her down." Zathrael countered. "What game is this?"

Ethylia frowned at his demand but he didn't look surprised, not like she was anyways. One of the people that had attacked her said "Put it down, this was all for show."

More people stormed in behind Cullen, including her father and brother, demanding the man put her down. The one holding her laughed, "Alright, alright, let's take it easy." He turned her upright and set her down, removing his hand from her mouth and she stumbled away and into Cullen who calmly passed her to her father.

Panic was surging in her throat, threatening to choke her, as she looked back, heaving for breath, and spotted the Qunari. His horns stretched far out to the sides and there was an eye patch over one eye. Recognition stirred in her mind, but she was too panicked to focus on that.

"What the hell?" Thom demanded as he held her to him. "Are you trying to scare us all to death?"

"Just making my point that she isn't protected well enough. It took me and my boys all of thirty seconds to knock down your Templars. The only one here worth their mettle was Zathrael and he was severely outnumbered." The Qunari spoke, voice a little gruff. "You need me."

She glanced around the room. Her heart rate hadn't slowed at all and now her aches and pains hurt worse. Everyone was acting like there was no emergency here but this Qunari and his men just attacked her. Even now the Templars were still on the ground, though Zathrael was lowering his bow.

"Does someone want to explain to me what's going on?" She demanded, hiding none of her anger.

"The Iron Bull," the qunari introduced himself. "These are my Chargers."

"That explains shit!" She stumbled away from her father and almost fell, but he set his hand on her to steady her and spoke.

"I'm sorry, we didn't agree for him to ambush you like that." His eyes shot to The Iron Bull.

"It needed to be done." He countered. "I had her. She was mine to take, and any group of mercenaries that's well trained could've done the same."

"Stop arguing and start explaining!" 

"Right now." Zathrael snapped. 

The Iron Bull sighed gruffly, "I arrived several hours ago. We heard the news that the Inquisitor and Solas's daughter was roaming in fucking Ferelden. It would've been nice to know that sooner." He glared at Cullen and Thom, "Heard you needed protection from those Orlesian fucks and thought I'd offer my support and come see for myself if you were actually who they said you were. I offered my services but Cullen and Thom refused me, so I decided to prove my point."

"By attacking me?"

"We didn't use all the force we could have. If I wanted to, you could've been unconscious and hog tied waiting for a rescue." She bristled all the more at his sharp words. "The point is, I didn't use that much force, just what I needed to make it clear: you need me."

"And the messenger?" Her father demanded.

"It was easy to convince one of your people that there was an issue."

Ethylia frowned, "What messenger?"

"We were in here when we received word you'd been attacked and we left for the infirmary immediately." Cullen explained. "When we got there, the healer said you hadn't been attacked but that you'd disappeared, but one of the Chargers caught us there and said that they were performing a demonstration back at the Chantry."

She glared at The Iron Bull, "So you were waiting for me to wake up?"

"And followed you here." He tipped his horns at her, they were almost as wide as his chest. There was no way he could fit through doors. She set her hand on the base of her back where it pained her as she glared at him.

"Get out."

His brow furrowed, "When you need us, we'll be at the tavern."

"I don't need you. Leave the fucking town for all I care!" He tilted his head and so she continued, "Don't give me that look, I mean it. Go! Where you got an idea that I would be okay with a man that ambushed me watching my back is beyond me. I just want one damn minute of peace and I can't even be awake more than an hour before the wheels fall off the wagon!"

The Iron Bull didn't even look offended as he motioned to his mercenaries and they walked out. She sighed heavily, wanting to collapse and pulled out of her father's arms, holding her head. He set his hand on her shoulder as Tenner crowded in closer, "Are you okay?"

"No." she said sharply. "I feel like I was trampled by a horse."

"Or a bull." Tenner flashed her a smile.

"He's not leaving town, is he?" She looked at her father.

"Not a chance." He looked over her, concern furrowing his brow. "It's good to have both my kids on their feet again."

"Sorry we scared you, Papa." 

He smiled and cupped both their cheeks, one in each hand, "I'm proud of you both. I love you." 

"For what it's worth," Cullen spoke up, "we are sorry about Iron Bull."

"Why do I sense there's more to that sentence?" Zathrael asked.

"I think he's right, we need him. The Chargers were successful in the past. I think we should consider it. It'll keep our forces focused where they need to be, and he has no allegiance to any crown."

"You would trust him with her safety?" Zathrael demanded.

"It's not so much a question of safety," Cullen said, "as a matter of principle. There's no need for Ehtylia's arrest and we stand our ground on that."

"Okay." Ethylia cut into the conversation and they looked at her. "I admit I was ruffled with his entrance, but you're right, Cullen."

"You don't have to," her father said.

"No, it's fine. I'm the one constantly saying we should be focused on the Blight. You guys need to do that, but we need to continue our search for Solas, and I have a new goal."

"You talked to him in the Fade?"

"I did. Has there been any word on Morrigan? I think it's imperative that we find her. Solas said he had no interest in harming her, but he needs her for something."

"We better find her first then," Cullen said, "Leliana's been working on that."

"Good." She nodded, "Can you catch me up on everything else? I want to know if there's been any other signs of darkspawn."

"Aye," they all nodded in agreement and Cullen motioned towards a bench that she was more than willing to seat herself in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your continued patience! I know i was posting one to two times a week beforehand, but life has gotten quite busy for me. I will be trying to post every two weeks now at the very least, once a week when I can!


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